My husband is a cheater, and has been abusive. I got an order of protection and we were separted until christmas when I felt sorry for him cause he wanted to commit suciside. He has been at our house ever sense. i don't want to be with him, how can I get rid of him?
2007-01-14 16:06:52 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are in a very difficult position and you really need to get out of it. Your husband manipulated you into allowing him to come back to you. He will claim to be sorry and things will be good for a little while and then he'll go back to his same ways.
Please seek help and make sure you keep the restraining order in affect. He is not going to leave willingly and he will NOT change.
2007-01-14 16:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a protection order out against him, do you realize that you are violating that order by allowing him in your home? Tell him to get out- if he doesn't call the police and mean it!! 20 years is a very long time to put up with abuse and a cheating husband-- and after the police leave with your soon to be ex husband, 1st call an attorney and file for divorce, 2nd call a counselor- you need counseling because you definitely have issues about your self worth and living with that man for 20 years has left you with no self esteem. Good luck to you..... you'll be fine if you can rid yourself of him..... and if you have children, get them in counseling also.... they need professional help too. God bless...
2007-01-15 00:14:43 · answer #2 · answered by mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't time for you? He sounds weak, and you let him use you. You are stronger than that - you proved that by getting an order against him and separting - you can go the whole way. It is a bit like giving up smoking, it is just a habit you have to get rid of - for your health and you!
2007-01-15 00:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by Traveler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him to a counselor who can help him, he just wants you to feel sorry for him, most likely he wouldn't go through with killing himself! They say this just to get you back! I had a b/f once that tried that ,said he was going to kill himself, well i surely didn't want a guy like that with that kind of problems on my hands!! I told him to go get help and i didn't want to be with a suicidal person or crazy person ! I didn't take him back and he didn't kill himself either !! Its a prank that's all ! If you let him stay he will most likely hurt you again and end up leaving you when he finds another woman to take him in!! You are all he had and he probably didn't have a place to go so he knew you would feel sorry for him! Don't be a sucker to this F____ er !!
2007-01-15 00:22:52 · answer #4 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot be responsible for the life of another. I seriously doubt he wants to commit suicide he only uses that to play on your senses. I was married for 25 years to a man I didn't know anymore! Just file for divorce and tell him he's done. You don't need to live your life in misery, remember, it's over before you know it.
2007-01-15 00:11:31 · answer #5 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First. Im so sorry for what you are going through.
Second: In my humble opinion, you shouldnt feel obligated to take care of someone who, after abusing you, would expect you to take care of them in a time of need.
I would suggest talking to an abuse center. They might be able to help you be strong enough to let him go. If he does anything to himself, you cant feel guilty about it. From my research, most true suicide's dont cry to anyone about it...they just do it. Maybe they could get him to agree to go to a center or something and get some help.
Once again though its only my unprofessional opinion. Talk to someone who knows.
My prayers are with you.
2007-01-15 00:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by SheDreamsOfDragons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
help him find support groups and a place to live. Act as a friend, not a crutch. The next time he threatens suicide, call a hospital for him and offer to get him professional help. After 20 years, he's learned your soft spot, and will use it for his benefit either consciencly or subconsciencely.
Pushing him to deal isn't mean, but the best thing you can do for both of you. He's learned you, now you learn him. Prethink his moves, and have a viable solution waiting.
remember - say what you mean, mean what you say without being mean...that's the mantra for breaking from a controlling ex.
2007-01-15 00:16:37 · answer #7 · answered by eleven 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to leave before you turn him in for violating the protection order . Besides if he's bent on suicide you couldn't stop him anyway , sorry to say . He needs to seek professional help there .
2007-01-15 00:12:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a protection order, you had him out of your life, and you took him back because you felt sorry for him. You're beyond help. Just spend the rest of your life being abused and cheated on - while he's laughing at you for falling for his suicide trick.
2007-01-15 00:11:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You had the order of protection, that is your way out. The Suicide threat was just to get you to let him back in. He would have never followed through.
He needs help.
2007-01-15 00:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by busyscrappin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋