I am struggling with a broken relationship, any tips on how to cope?

Question

I am struggling with a broken relationship. I tend to get overly involved, and invest heavily in a relationship.

Now I continually think about the past, about my wounds, about everything that happened between us, especially the bitter things.

This is giving me grey hair and beard, and worry lines on my face. I don't want all that. I want to come out of it as quickly as I can. I have been told to forget it, but it isn't easy. I am of an overly worrying nature, and the throughts haunt me every single second of my day.

I'm out of job, and so have a lot of time to sit back and worry.

Please advice me on some extraordinary methods to forget someone and get out of this situation.

Answer 1

Time will mend the wounds and you will be stronger and wiser as a result. In the meantime, try to focus on yourself. Work on letting go of the bitterness (I know it takes time) and keeping your heart good. Give yourself some time to think about all the things you think are important to have in a relationship and all the things you think should not be in a good relationship. This is all about you and how you feel. Don't ever let yourself settle for less than what's inside those boundaries. Work on bettering yourself somehow and finding a new and better path to travel, for YOU.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Let me say first of all that I know you are suffering and in pain. I have been there and it's no fun. You feel like it will never get better, but guess what ...it will! It will take time and it's hard to say just how much. I believe you have to grieve your loss. Google the process of grieving and it will make sense a little more. There are several stages and you may bounce around them if you are like me.

You stated you have a lot of time on your hands and that is very bad for you right now. Idle time is the devil's playground as it's said. I believe it. You have to make yourself break out of your thinking patterns and habits. When you find youself thinking whatever that's not positive about your ex or past tell yourself to stop! visualize a big red stopsign. Redirect your thoughts. Find a hobby. Take up running or some other exercise to help release some endorphins. Get a new hobby.

Remember that yesterday's gone, tomorrow is nothing to worry about b/c all you have is today ...here and now. You have to do whatever it takes to enjoy your life. YOU create your life. Best wishes to you through this rough time.

Answer 4

I haven't been on this situation, but i wouldn't let it pull me down or let the difficulty fear me. I know you had your intellect set on you two experiencing parenthood collectively for the primary time and it has just out of the blue went out the window. Matters like this occur everyday in lifestyles and when they instantly simply spring up like this you need to in finding that strength from inside and tell yourself i'll get through this and be blissful it doesn't matter what. When you really love this man then this shouldn't come between you and him. The factor is you will be equipped to have his youngsters also, and although it will not be his first youngster, the one thing that issues is you will have a little one with him. Look on the happiness that you may still have despite this. Simply think about it, it's going to be a very new experience for him when he sincerely can also be there to see his little one born and appear into it can be eyes for the primary time, and have that connection. He ignored this valuable phase together with his first youngster so really everything can be new for the each of you. This predicament is only what you make it.

Answer 5

Hi Bleedingheart,

I have been through the same situation that you described in your question and I can honestly say that it sucks. Those that tell you that you'll feel better in time don't understand the hurt. Of course the hurt will eventually go away, but you can help yourself emotionally deal with it by writing a letter pouring out everything in it that you truly feel.

This letter is not meant to be mailed to your lost love but is a tool to deal with all that emotional baggage that you are carrying. I can tell you one letter I wrote took me six times and 3 days to write to get the letter just right and after I did that I burned it. I felt much better about 24-hours later and moved on.

Healing is something that does take time, but you can use this tool to speed it along. In doing this you take all your thoughts that clog your mind up and deal with them all at once on paper so those thoughts have no excuse to reappear in your mind.

You will meet the right person (your soul mate) that will appreciate every effort you put into a relationship and you will get the same in return, don't give up in your search!

Good Luck :)

Answer 6

When I left my ex it was really hard. After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself and bawling all day everyday I got up and went running. Running turned into regular workouts etc. I just got up and ran everytime I felt down. You'll never find anything that will make you feel better. The endorphines will lift you right out of the gutter.

Another huge plus was, I saw him a few weeks later and he was irrate, because I looked so good. He didn't understand how I could leave him and just magically loose tons of weight and be so happy. It will help you love yourself more and not worry about the relationship so much.

Answer 7

Part of the problem is that you're sitting around with lots of time on your hands. Get busy! Find a job, or if you can't work for some reason, do volunteer work, anything that will occupy your attention. The more you focus on and stew about this broken relationship, the more it will affect you rather than growing less painful each day.

Answer 8

I sympathize with you. Been there and I know what you're talking about. If it helps know that I and others have been through this too. Having too much time on your hands is working against you. You need to keep busy. If your mind is otherwise occupied you can't be thinking about your broken relationship. Exercise and fresh air helps too. I know it's easier to give advice than it is to take it. Time, time, time is what you need but please try to keep busy and by all means don't listen to sad music. If you can't find happy music then don't listen to music at all. Go out window shopping for whatever you are interested in. Pets help too. I wish you well and hope you get over this soon. And you will get over it eventually. Good luck.

Answer 9

My method is read read read. I read to escape my life (I love historical romance novels), but lately I have been reading self-help books. How to become a better person, how to secure my own finances, how to "fix" my marriage on my own, how to achieve what I truly want in life, etc. (just some of the topics I have read on as of late).

Another thing I recommend is to connect with friends and family as much as possible. Hopefully you have a friend or two that you can call and say "help Im depressed" and you have someone to vent to and someone who will hang out with you through the harder times. And don't try to jump into another relationship right away, that can be very counterproductive.

Answer 10

First off my posible friend (if we new each other that is) get off the couch and get a job if possible a job that keeps you very busy secondly get over your relationship how old are you 10? life is tough and their are plenty of other men/women out their for you. Don't beat yourself up anymore when you find your true love you will forget about all of this. Trust me I am never wrong, well unless you count all the other mistakes ive made then I am wrong but only like 99.9% of the time