On July last year I found out that my boyfriend had cheated on me with a woman he met while he was at work. I had suspected it for a long time, but he always denied it. It was the woman who called me to tell me everything, out of spite because he had left her. I was so furious at the time, I even broke the front windshield of my car with my bare hand. My hand was fine, but my heart wasn't. I could never understand why he did it. At the time he began to see her, I was in group therapy. He said that I had changed with him, that I was keeping him away. I NEVER did. I was so angry because he didn't understand that I was not well and was trying to deal with it. His solution was to have an affair. I decided to work it out, even though we aren't married. We moved in together in August '06, but it hasn't been easy for me to live with this. Everytime I remember what happened, I get so mad at him my mood changes completely. It feels as if I was getting that call again. How can I deal with this?
2007-01-14 15:43:48 · 10 answers · asked by km_berrios 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are no easy answers to this and I understand how out of the blue these feelings just pop up and all you want to do is ream him a new one! You decided to work things out, this means that you need to forgive. Forgiving is easy when you love someone it's the forgetting that's hard. As time goes on, it will get easier, you just need to control those times when those bad things pop in your head. If you can't get over this then you need to get out of the relationship and move on.
2007-01-14 16:06:24 · answer #1 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with your situation is to end the relationship. The reason why I say to end it because there will be so much resentment towards him that it will always make you angry. It is hard to heal from pain when you have the thing that hurt you the most always around you. Reminding you of your inadqueatcy. I had an affair on my husband and we have tried to heal from the situation but, if I even mention another man's name around him. I get the cold shoulder for at least three days. It is sad because he was happy once and now he is sad. I had always loved him and still do but, because of both of our infidelities. We lost our bond with one another. So, good luck. Make your choice wisely.
2007-01-14 16:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by VON 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all if he is just your bf and he is already cheating he is not the man for you.Why in the world are you going to group therapy for a man that your not married to. Let him go and get on with your life with out him. Apparently he felt you were not good enough for him(which is not true)so he found attention from another woman. Period let him go get out of his life if he really loved you, he would have not even looked at that woman in a lustful way.
2007-01-14 15:50:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
More therapy....for the both of you. If you two really want this to work you'll have to get some professional help...you already know how effective it can be. You'll have to make a conscious effort to keep working on it too. A relationship can survive this....but it all depends on how badly you both want to let the past and hurt go. Much luck...it's got to be rough!
2007-01-14 15:50:53 · answer #4 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can even though it is hard... If you choose to forgive and try to make it work then yes it can... Forgiveness is the key here. Since you are not married you can find someone new if you want to anyways. This is totally up to you. You may also want to seek counseling and help for the pain this has put you through.
2007-01-14 16:20:06 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, hes not worth it. He will do it again. He got away with it ones and you forgave him, he will do it again. Its just in him. Hes probably an ugly man that thinks hes god gift to women. If hes not ugly than he just doesnt value you good enough. If he truly loved you, he would never cheat. If women can love and never cheat, so could a real man thats in love. If he felt that you were keeping him away while you were not well, imagine next time your not well again....
2007-01-14 17:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by girluknow2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope! My wife's x and my x both cheated on us. We are no longer married to them and they're sorry for screwing with teo people that just pulled the plug on thier antics! Seems like you're young, move on, you'll be glad in the long run for it!
2007-01-14 15:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by ndvsne1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you made the choice to stay together so you need to forgive him and start to pack up your life
If you keep on you will make him brack it off
2007-01-14 15:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by yomom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. Dump the loser and get a dog - they are more loyal
2007-01-14 15:58:12 · answer #9 · answered by fredricklovesbasketball 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that once a cheater always a cheater...how would you trust a cheater
2007-01-14 15:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by grannycyndi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋