I am getting my kids from there dad, and the man I am with is making me choose between him and my kids. I chose my kids, now he is telling me that I can't live in the place that we are renting together. Both our names are on the lease. He wanted to get married and all now he wants nothing to do with me. What should I do?
2007-01-14 14:59:18 · 43 answers · asked by Julie M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You had to choose b/c this was the way that God let you know that this guy was not the one for you.I am glad to hear you say you chose your kids , some women won't and leave their kids behind and let them grow up abused or neglected and then they are messed up for life. Stay strong girl . I know you feel your heart torn in 2 but this was a blessing and you will get a real man that will love you and your kids and treat you like a queen. No real man will ever make you choose between your flesh and blood and him. Remember that!
2007-01-14 15:13:09 · answer #1 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOOOOOO!!!! You did the right thing! My dad has a fiancee that I completely hate, but my dad chose her over me and that hurt so much, I really dont want n e thing to do with him now so now I live with my mother) Your children are the most precious thing in life. If your bf dosent love you with your kids he dosent love you at all. Tell him that he can get the hell out if he dosent like it and that he better not say a word to your kids about it. You choose correctly, life is hard but NEVER give up family. If you cannot afford the place on your own then notify the land-lord and have him change the lease so that its only in his name. Keep your kids close, because they love you more than you could ever imagine.
2007-01-14 15:47:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Julie, he's not the right guy for you. Be honest about your status from the beginning and don't give up! There's lot's of great guys out there who would love to be a dad to your kids and a lover and husband to you. But, you have to be honest from the start and give them a chance. Good Luck! As far as the lease goes, can you handle the rent without him? Is the place in a neighborhood that you love? Is the place big enough for you and the kids? If you need to, get a lawyer...find out your rights.
2007-01-14 15:06:27 · answer #3 · answered by James B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very thankful that you didn't marry a man that won't accept your children as part of the "package". Both your names are on the lease....tell him to leave considering there are children involved that need a roof over their heads. Get legal advise. If he's unstable start looking and get another place before you take custody of the kids. Forget about the man...your kids are your only concern right now.
2007-01-14 15:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind right now your are feeling the sting rejection. Girl, don't even sweat it. You did the right thing by picking your kids. They are innocent little ones that you have brought into the world and they look to you for....everything. Men will come and go, but your children are forever. Also, he can not make you leave if you are on the lease. You have just as much right to be there as he does and if he doesn't like it tell him to not let the door hit him in the A$% on the way out! GOOD FOR YOU. YOU KEEP YOU CHIN UP AND KNOW YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
2007-01-14 15:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by mccmb02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the heck rid of the bum. If he isn't a decent enough guy to care for children (especially your children), then you do NOT, and I repeat this NOT want to spend your life with him. What a terrible thing to ask of you - giving up your children. If he would turn you and your children out, then he is not the one for you - or your children. As for the lease, it is as much your place as his. He cannot tell you what to do. If you do leave, you need to see the landlord about getting your name off the lease. If not, then you may ultimately find yourself in need of legal assistance if your soon to be ex boyfriend does not pay his rent. In any event, and whatever you do, get out of this relationship - because a man who could ask you to make this choice or who could put you out is not for you - even if your kids are hellions or something, they are your kids, and whoever you marry will have to accept that. Good luck. You're in my thoughts . . .
2007-01-14 15:05:46 · answer #6 · answered by Quantum Aurelius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With your head held high you walk out and don;t look back. Any man who would make you choose between him and your own kids isn;t worth a s**t!! OH... and make sure you get your name taken off the lease as soon as possible! Get a new place and start a new life. Good Luck!
2007-01-14 15:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for you, but any man that would make you choose between him and your own children is not worth your time!
If both names are on the lease, and you can afford it without him .. make HIM leave! Tell him, live with me and my kids or GET OUT!
Also, good for you hun!! I have known women who chose the man .. you are doing the right thing! (((((hugs))))))
2007-01-14 15:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by Pichi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dump the looser.........You are an awesome Mom for putting your kids 1ST instead of choosing that looser. I would move my kids in and force him to move out. If he doesn't move out on his own will then he will have to deal with the new living arrangements. I don't know the situation between your ex and you but maybe he can keep the kids a little longer until you can afford to find another place on your own.
2007-01-14 15:16:12 · answer #9 · answered by daydreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out legally if he can force you out of the house. You dont want to be homeless with the children and all. If he can then good riddens and find a family friend or someone who can help you get back on your feet. Sounds crazy, but my church helped us in our deepest times of need and we only went there a month when it happened. You do not need a man to complete your life or make it better. Your children have to come first. This is so hard to do when times get tough and lonely, i had to watch my mom raise three of us after my father took his own life. You can do it though, i believe in you. There are good men out there who would be thrilled to love you and your children. And just when you least expect it , God will drop one on your doorstep. So just remember to pray tons, care for the kids first, care more about yourself than any man next , and all will fall into place. Many men will resent children from other men just because they arent theirs biologically. Makes no sense to me, because love is love no matter where it comes from and your kids deserve a good father and a good man for their mommy. Be true to them and yourself and stay strong. Get a community family to back you up through co-workers, church friends, the local librarians and such. I know you and your children are special and all kinds of people will help you get through this tough time and love you all the way.
2007-01-14 15:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋