ok, so both of my parents are persian and i have grown up in a somewhat modest persian culture, but now that i have fallen in love with a guy who is half american-half spanish, they are freaking out. i myself, like the guy i love, am christian and my parents never objected that before, but now they are saying i am not allowed to marry him, i must marry a persian man or not wed at all, and that my family would shun me for this act. they always told me how love is the most important thing and nothing comes above it, but now that my time has come, they are denying me this. what should i say or do, how can i make my utterly hard-headed parents realize that this is for real, that love should come above religion?
2007-01-14 14:52:07 · 11 answers · asked by pegahgurl 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
I tottaly feel for you hon. Being persian myself I tottaly understand what you are going through....its really hard. How can you please your parents yet make the right decision?! Its crazy.....I know I have 2 parents myself that are so strict and sometimes I just wish why can't my parents be like my American friends and sometimes not always be all up in my buisness. The best way I think to solve this problem is to talk to someone else in your family. Someone you might be closer to even like a grandparent or even a Church minister. If you really love him and don't want to disgrace your family and make them upset you will alwaysfind a way to work it out...it takes time..be patient and good luck
2007-01-14 15:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by Never give up on the good times 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok but I want to know what is your parents religion ? Islam or Christian?
What is the reason of your parents that you shuold marry to a Persian man ?I think if you and your parents have the same religion that is Christian you should obey your parents maybe they want you to get married with the man who has similar culture and habit .You must convince your parents that the difference of culture and habit will enrich the Persian one.You must talk to your parents heart by heart in a better situation You must tell them its similarity..But if your parrents are muslims why you convert your religion to Christian?You changed the best religion to outdated religion..You must come back to Islam and search a muslim Persian man to marry you..You must make happy your parents by complying to their wants.There is no parents who want difficulties to their daughter.They hope you will be happier if you get married with Persian man.
2007-01-14 23:30:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? The reason I ask this is because if you decide to marry this man, your family will probably disown you. Only you can make this tough decision. Do you have anyone in your family who can speak to your parents, I mean aunt, uncle, grandparent who may stick up for you? Is boyfriend willing to wait and stick it out? If you loves you he will, but if he doesn't than it wasn't meant to be. Remember this, your parents will always look out for your best interest. Maybe if your boyfriend can wait and your parents can get to know him, they may feel more comfortable with the situation. But this is going to take time. God bless and keep you.
2007-01-14 23:10:45 · answer #3 · answered by us5we2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are old enough to get marry, than you should be old enough to make your OWN decisions, and your parents should be proud of you making your own decisions. I don't know much about your culture and customs, but planing to have a family of your own is all your own and only yours, therefore I don't know why your parents should object that decision. We are living in a diverse world, and they should know that the world is not all Persian.
2007-01-15 03:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough question. I think the answer to it will have to come from deep inside of you. I don't know your age, or if you still live with you family.
I was in a similar situation with my family in my mid-20's, and no longer lived with them. My family is Anglo-Saxon and deeply Christian, and I had fallen in love with a Jewish guy. It came to the point the had I to chose between them.
I chose my boyfriend. It was a very painfuly decision, and I stopped talking to my family for almost 3 years, because their rejection was so complete. I realized that I was really chosing between love and hate. The love he and I had for each other, and thier hatered for him because of his race. I do not regret my decision at all, even though I didn't marry him in the end. He made me a better person, and taught me to love all people regardless of race.
I think what you chose will depend on your situation, if you still live with your family chosing your boyfriend will be almost impossible. If you are independent of them financially and emotionally, you may be prepaired to chose him. Just be aware of the consequences, you may have to lose contact with them for a time.
Things worked out for me in the end. I am now very happily married to a Chinese man and my family has come to accept him. If I had not dated the Jewish guy, my family's ideas about race would have remained unchallenged, and I would not have been open to someone so different from me either. I am grateful because he helped everyone be ready for my true love, my husband.
Best of luck with your decision. Whatever you chose someone is going to be hurt. Don't focus on that, however. Focus on what kind of person you want to be, and on what consequences you can endure.
2007-01-14 23:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by mopo28 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Another case of people coming to america and trying to make it the country they left. You have to live your life, and although your parents love you and want the best for you, denying you your life choices is not going to be productive for anyone in the long run.THEY chose to have an american child, THEY chose to live in America. So why are they punishing you with guilt from a situation they pushed on you? I hope you are strong enough to be your own person.
2007-01-14 23:10:14 · answer #6 · answered by bumppo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
-- Your options really boil down to a few
ignore your parents and get married ---ignore your parents and invite them to the wedding,--ignore what they said to you in the past ,and pray and hope their words will ring true to them before the wedding,---ignore your parents,and hope prayers were answered and they really want to see their first grandchild,--- get a meeting set with parents and your B/F at a neutral site and discuss this situation and relationship so they can see and hear your love for each other,--lastly find yourself another boyfriend of the Persian culture so when you want to marry this obstacle is not present
2007-01-14 23:11:15 · answer #7 · answered by tjdepere2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go for it, if you love him that much. What does your BF say about this?
2007-01-14 23:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by ♥*´`*ღPink♥*´`*•.¸¸ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
buy them some ice cream
2007-01-14 22:57:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry, but feel you should obey your parents.
2007-01-14 22:59:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋