My wife is a slob. What can i do?

Question

She leaves her clothes around on the floor, on the chairs, and just about everywhere.
Even when she gets in the car, the passenger side is always full of trash and junk.
She has O.C.D. too--she likes to shop almost every day and buys stuff to clutter up the house. Every flat surface and drawer is full of something.
Any advice? I've tried to be nice and not so nice but nothing works. Please help.

Answer 1

Was she this way before you married her?

Answer 2

I can help you because... well, I am a lot like your wife. Not something I am proud of, particularly.

Here is something you know about your wife: she is lazy. Here is something you may not know about your wife: she may be depressed. The obsessive shopping and cluttering is a clear sign that she is unhappy, by her way of letting caution and care go to the winds. She might have been like this before and you never noticed. Or, it might be a new development. You should think on it and figure this out, before you make her feel even worse by your being "not so nice" about the whole thing.

It is also possible that your wife came from a family unit where the home was not the tiddy place maybe yours was. Perhaps her mother was a poor housewife, as well. If this is so, there are a number of ways that you can teach her how to be a tidy person. You must work together, and you need to have a loooooot of patience. Remember this: it is easier to teach a child how to talk than to teach a grown up. If you have kids, you know how much patience it takes to have your children say words correctly...

Either way, your wife needs you to be a guide, rather than a father. So, my advice to you is this: help her instead of chastising her. Show her how you like things in an easy manner, and try to make a game out of being neat. Play music on the radio when you do, that helps us get in a better mood.

About the buying... it will be very difficult for you to help her stop that. But, you can both try something that I try often: Go to a department store together with only $10 in your pocket. No credit cards, no checks, no debit cards. And no going back home for them! Just $10. Then you pick up a cart or a bag and start putting in stuff that you would love to buy, or that are on sale, or that you have been waiting to get for a while. I mean just fill that sucker up with stuff. You will spend about 2 hours at the store. Maybe a little more. Once you have no more space, you will realize that there is too much stuff in the cart and that you only have $10 in your pocket. There is no way you can carry all that. So, you will probably end up taking something you really like, really need, and that will not be as expensive. Trust me, shopping can become exhausting after you have gone through the whole store, and once your wife realizes you can only take one item each, she will be content with the fact that she has fantasized about having everything she put in the cart, and will be happy with the one item she has taken. Remember that the shopping is only a part of her OCD, and has more to do with going "shopping" than actually "buying" something.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

Haha. My bf was a slob too! He liked to throw his clothes on the ground so it can collect dust. I got so sick and tired of picking up after him so I told him that every item on the floor will cost him one night out with his friends. So far things have been great! Oh yeah, what can YOU do? Hmm...if I were you I would gather all her clothes and have a garage sale or maybe give it to the salvation army. Whatever that's on the ground is considered not wanted. The salvation army would greatly appreciate it too! Good luck! =)

Answer 4

If she has OCD I would seek a doctor. I know some girls that have run up the bills shopping so much that now the couples are soooo in debt. And the bad part about it was he didn't know until it was to late. Not sure what to do about a slob. Did you know she was a slob when you married her??? Maybe once a slob always a slob. I don't know.

Answer 5

This type of behaviour is a sign that there is something else going on with her other than being a pack rat and messy. You should support her and even offer to help her clean the house. That way you get a cleaner house and car and she doesn't get her feelings hurt. Maybe she needs to see a therapist.

Answer 6

Try mentioning to her that it would be a good idea to put some energy in organizing the house rather than buying more stuff to go in it. You might put it in more of a wouldn't it be a good idea if we sort of overhauled the house. Get organized and stuff. Maybe even have a garage sale. It gives her a task that will keep her busy to burn up that extra energy and keep her mind busy.

Answer 7

At least this seem to be something that you can help her with, try to tell her nicely can she put her things in her area so that no one trips on it or that you are expecting a guest so it will encourage her to start cleaning up instead of leaving a mess. I say to try this because what do people do when guest come to their house? Clean of course. Its a good start.

Answer 8

sell all the cluuter in a year sale or take it back the next day. put a drash bag in the car and a laundry bin in you room, if she dosent do that then tell her that your not going to pick n e thing up n e of her stuff up ne more, do not do n e of her laundry and she should not forget it on the floor.

Answer 9

Well make a rule no shopping until WE get the house clean.

Answer 10

She needs therapy to help get the OCD under control. Shopping and sloppiness is an attempt to get love and satisfaction from her life, and it doesn't work.

Seriously, get her some help.

Answer 11

Counseling and medication could help her. Ask her to go see a Dr. or your relationship will be on the rocks towards divorce.