How Can I Stop Purposely Making all my Girlfriends Cry??

Question

For some reason, I like to make my girlfriends cry. I make them cry on purpose, but then afterwards I feel bad and I try to make up for it.

I usually do it at night when I talk on the phone to them.

But sometimes I even get off the phone and let them cry and be sad overnight, but then the next day when they call me I feel bad and I try to make it up.

Why do I do that? I have done that with every girl I've dated since I was young and it has been many.

I wish I could stop doing this, but for some reason once I get it started, I just have to keep it going until they cry.

I usually make them cry by making them think I don't like them anymore or by breaking up with them and then I usually make them beg me to take them back etc.

Otherwise I'm a real nice, cool guy. I never hit them or anything and I'm cool to be around....that's why they like me.

But why do I have this problem? It scares me a little...

Answer 1

Dude it seems as though you draw satisfaction from making your girlfriends cry. Maybe its because you like to be the one emotionally in control, or because it makes you feel superior. Its not a good thing to keep doing, because it might become a habit, and you might not be able to get rid of it. Or even worse, you might get addicted to doing it. Whenever you feel like doing it, practice some self discipline and stop yourself

Answer 2

Haha, funny, but a lil wierd, anyways, i have no idea why you have that problem, but if i were you i would think before i do anything, and keep myself from doing it. But that's probably hard. So try this, each day you see your girlfriend, and be nice to her and not make her cry give yourself a reward, not something that costs money, because then you will go broke, maybe sometimes it can cost money, like you can treat yourself to mandarin or something, but mostly just reward yourself by letting yourself do something you wouldn't normally allow yourself to do. Like, i dunno, play video games all day, or watch too much TV, or have too many snacks. Now this sound silly, and it probably won't work, but i don't have much ideas, but maybe another possible solution if that doesn't work, maybe whenever you feel like making them cry, excuse yourself, and take a trip to the washroom or something and make yourself cry (think things that make you emotional(don't cut yourself)) so you can show yourself how it feels, and get it out of your system. Another possible solutuion would be that, each time you want to make her cry, again excuse yourself to the washroom or something and wait there entertaining yourself (so you don't get bored and leave) and wait for the feeling to leave you,and then return. But the easiest possible solution would be to tell your girlfriend (each time you get a new one) your wierd problem, and see what she says, maybe she can come up with ideas of her own, maybe she'll accept that and will know that you are just kidding and not cry, that is your best bet. The only reason i gave you those other ideas is because i know that most guys don't exactly like to talk about their feelings. Good Luck! Oh! Tell us how it goes!

Answer 3

I have no idea why you do it and dont even want to try to guess, but you could try this to see if it helps you stop.

When you go into a new relationship, tell your girlfriend that you do it. Explain to her that it's something that you've done before and that you want to stop doing it. Ask her for her help to control this behaviour. Explain how you do it, the signs that you recognise when it's starting to happen, and ask her to tell you as soon as she is aware the situation is heading thing that way. Ask her to remind you that this is what you're doing and that your goal is to make her cry. Tell her if you continue to behave in this manner to tell you that she will not talk to you and allow the behaviour to continue. Tell her to hang up the phone, walk away, or do whatever she needs to do to remove herself from the situation.

Once she has done this, take some time to yourself to calm down and evaluate your feelings and behaviour then call her back, apologise and say goodnight properly.

Or you could get counselling I guess.

Good luck in fixing this. Dont go ruining your relationships by doing something even you dont understand.

Karma.
x

Answer 4

You probably do it because you want some sort of validation that they like you, and also want to see if you have any power in the relationship. You probably do it early to test this, and see how important you are to her, as to how she'll react, if she forgives you etc. An fulfilling ego booster, at some poor nice girls expense.

It's prob a subconcious test you make them go through, then you rationalize, you feel bad.

Either way, it's wrong to purposely do, and probally has an underlying cause, like how you're family treats you, how you are with your friends, in school. If you feel powerless somewhere else, you probably pick on easy prey to make yourself feel good

Oh, you never hit them. Thats great. But the way you say it, is as if it's acceptable to other people you are around (father, uncle, brother) But you've never done it. (yet)

Either way, it's sick, but at least you realize theres a problem and want to try to fix it.

Talk to a counselor or something.


Good luck

Answer 5

You are very insecure and get a false sense of security by making others feel bad. I'm glad you are aware of the behaviour. Start by stopping when you start and call the girl friend later to remove yourself from the situation. Be aware of when you start with your comments and write down what she may have said that triggered your behaviour. Once you recognize what is causing the insecurity and anxiety, write down other more positive responses you can say and start using them. By chance, since your father is the most influential parent due to being the same sex, have you seen this behaviour in him? Thanks for posting and know we all can change. It takes the desire and action towards our goals. Have a great year.

Answer 6

I do agree that you should seek the help of a professional. I also think maybe you have never felt so crazy for a girl and her torment you that way. I mean this in the best way but maybe you need someone to hurt you in order to get passed that.

Consider you history. Has your dad ever done that to your mom infront of you? Have you ever been in the position that the girls are now and you feel that if you are the one that does it, you wouldn't be in that position anymore?

I honestly this that it's good you finally opened up to someone to it. Even if it is online. Maybe the next step is opening up to someone in person. Admitting your flaw is a great step.

Answer 7

Wow! You are going to be a stellar husband someday, maybe you will even beat your wife, that would be really grand. You are honestly just insecure and you want the reassurance that your girls like you and you are twisted in some way and you get your jollies from hurting those you care about. Get help. I hope someday you meet a girl you really like that makes you cry because she is insane. ;)

Answer 8

It is a control/dominance thing, and you should definitely seek help from a counsilor. Any smart or strong girl (the kind worth being around) will not put up with that for long, so for your own happiness, fixing it would be best.

Good luck.

Answer 9

you want to distance your self from her, and that entire difficulty as a lot as possible. at the same time as your doing that,.. distance your self from you collectively. replace your conduct about you consisting of her, make diverse pals, try speaking extra to different pals that are women and go away her to do her aspect regardless of that should be. Your now unlikely to MAKE her love you again. If she sees the mistake of her procedures and grows up, she will be able to work out what a good aspect she had and come back to you. Its at that think about your existence you are able to seem at her with a completly diverse set of eyes and seem previous your emotions you've now, and concentrate on what's extra important,... you! in my opinion, I instructed my very last lady friend that if she ever cheated on me, it should be the right human beings. i ought to by no skill take her again. what type of a message does that say to her: "Its ok that you cheated,... i am going to forget it this time because your not suitable.... in simple terms dont do it again." in my view, you'd be relationship for 5 minutes or 5 years,.. love is love. there are certain ranges to the severe some human beings will opt for that love of yet another,.. notwithstanding that is the degree of the nature interior the guy, not the burden in which the be conscious "love" consists of of one individual and by no skill the different. i visit work out that you adore her,.. yet truly,.. now's not the time to assist her see the mistake she is making. go away the living house, do issues on your man or woman, and enable her do her aspect. some day you'll go the same direction and it will be on your elect. immediately, all of your doing is letting her drag you down.

Answer 10

You like to have power over your girlfriend. By making her cry you are controlling her in the way that a person who by mistreating a dog makes them whimper and roll over etc. Do anything to please their master. Yeah, the fact that you do that is scary. See a therapist and stop dating so more girls won't have to suffer emotional trauma until they cry. You had better fix this fast before it becomes something much worse than it already is.