How do I keep my husband from playing his pc video game all the time?

Question

My husband is constantly on the computer playing Black Hawk Down. He is bugging me now as a matter of fact. How can I get him to do something else besides have his face in a game everyday, every chance he gets?

Answer 1

My husband used to play that game too. For hours and hours.

I just started being unavailble when he wasn't playing, and never around to do anything with. I never complained about that stupid game, but he missed me when he found out I was out having fun while he was playing. My sister lived close by, so we cooked dinner together and watched movies. I would tell him what we cooked, and about the movies we watched.

Things just worked themselves out. I didn't do that to get him back. I just found someone who wanted my company (that wasn't a man). He got jealous. Who would've thought?

Answer 2

Hello,
I don't know the details of your life so I can only guess for what you described.
I personally think that your relationship with your husband is lacking of attention, communication and romance or affection.
Maybe you are not giving the attention that your husband wants.
I did the same in my marriage, my wife wasn't giving me the attention that I wanted, and she was spending all day long watching TV. No cooking, no cleaning, no nothing, just TV.
I decided no to do anything but going to work and use my computer and as I suspected, she complained but she never realized that her actions created a reaction.
Even own sex life is not active for 8 months now.
You probably don’t have excitement in your life as a couple any more. That's why he doesn't see you sexually and romantically as he used to. Even if your sex life is not lacking there is no romance, isn't it?
Little details make a relationship grow. You probably don't have details anymore with each other.
I will recommend that you take the initiative and try to change your habits, if it doesn't work is probably healthier for you to move out the relationship before you hurt or hate each other more.
I suggest that you change your ways and dress sexier for him, or different so he can see your change especially when he comes from work. Have a bubble bath ready for him, cook something different and have a sensual dessert, fix his favorite drink. Teas him in a good way so he can regain interest in you. Leave a note on his windshield saying that you love him, tell him in that note that he would have a surprise if he gets home earlier.
Have a personal picnic in the middle of your living room with some cheese, fruits and whipped cream chocolate or caramel, some wine or champagne etc.
Any little detail that you think is not important for you might be important for him.
People think that little details are not important but in reality little details are what makes the difference in a relationship.
Even if you are upset or mad at him tell him that you love him, just tell him that you are mad but you love him still.
It is very important that you tell him how you feel. Do it in writing, that way you’ll get all of is attention. Make sure he knows that you want him to treat you just the same way as he wants to be treated and it's up to him if he wants to be treated good or bad.
I used to cry almost every day because my wife was paying more attention to the TV than me so I decided to do what I suggested you and it worked. She has changed a little and I know that she will change more if I give her more time. If she doesn't change more for the best of our marriage within a reasonable amount of time, I will get the divorce because I have to look out for my future.
Do what you think is best for you, we all have the answer for our problems but we are scared to take the responsibility of our actions.
If you want to talk some more you can send me an email or IM.
Best Wishes.

Answer 3

You'll have to define "constantly". Regular long play, vs excessive and at the exclusion of other activities. How long has it continued? Most games have a duration arc, which changes the gamer's playing habits as they progress through the game.
Excessive gaming can be a sign of addiction, just like gambling. Many games do promote long sessions and many DO revolve around repetitive challenge/reward scenarios. You can get quite lost in a book or movie the same way. Games do involve certain faculties of thought, does your husband consider the game to be a good exercise of these faculties, or is it an addiction that is beyond his control?

Answer 4

Apart from the hammer suggestion, hon, you really can't. Computer games are addictive, as is alcohol, computer porn, gambling, etc. Some of these addictions are treatable -- AA for alcoholics, and so on, Computer porn??? forget it. The problem with any addict is that they are already in a relationship, it just isn't with you, as you well know. Emotionally, they aren't available. Your husband figures it is no big deal -- no addict does: and it's harmless -- (yes, at least his liver isn't being turned to cork). But emotionally, these people are cripples.... just like any alcoholic.......they do fine at work, and find when they are out socially, but truthfully, they'd rather be playing that game (or looking at porn, or drinking...) Your husband may develop other addictions -- an addictive personality will often have several addictions. He's obviously choosing games over time with you, and that, hon, is addiction,,no ifs, ands, or buts.

Was married to a game/porn/alcoholic addict, and quite frankly, just like your husband, every chance he had, he was drinking in front of the computer, even passing out in front of it. He'd come home from work, and I'd wake up long enough to remember he came to bed about 2:00am. Weekends were in front of the computer.......Then he gave up the games for the straight porn. This, along with depression, alcohol and finally another lady, put me at number 6 in his list of priorities,(somewhere down where the goldfish are) and I left.

If your husband has been hooked for any length of time, you won't get him to give it up easily, because he sees no problem.... the fact that he is cheating you of his company is not his problem as far as he is concerned....it's your problem, and he will tell you so, and it is --- it's his relationship with the games that makes him already emotionally unavailable to you... I wish you lots of luck.....Until/if he realizes he has a problem, he will see no reason to stop.....Doubt that he would get into counseling, because he sees no problem.... none of them do.

Answer 5

People use the computer as an escape, so if you can plan a few things where you do things together, it will allow him some "you and him" time, but not ordering him to stay away from his toy. I used to get angry with my husband, who was using his games as an escape (lots of stress, and not one to share his emotional pain). I got interested in other things, which frightened him, as I wasn't nagging him anymore. He now budgets his time, and when he starts to get compulsive again (a part of his basic personality), I mention that I miss him. Nothing else, just a statement. Men know what they are doing, and will do it until someone discusses it with them. Changes don't happen overnight, but just like a child will do what he/she can until someone puts up boundaries/structures, we do the same thing.

Do you have any friends who shop, shop, shop? Or do some other compulsive thing.? Same idea, but we accept that because it doesn't interfere in our qualtity time with a love one. Focus on what is good about him, be supportive in some areas of his life, but lovingly let him know that this bothers you. Then back off. Focus on you, and eventually he will return to you.

And if he doesn't? Then you have a maritial problem which needs addressed, with a counselor. If he won't go, you go. But don't nag. It doesn't work. If he is distancing himself on purpose, conversations have to come into play about why. Good luck!

Answer 6

often times i'd play a recreation on my Wii or my previous Gamecube. probable some circumstances a month. i love video games yet i have not somewhat got here upon any that i somewhat take exhilaration in. I guess that if I appeared harder i might want to discover some that i might want to like, yet today, they basically do not appeal to me that a lot. Oh yeah, those i'm ideal at are Mario video games, lol. I kick some severe butt in New tremendous Mario Brothers Wii and Mario Kart.

Answer 7

Ya this is going to be a hard one....I have a problem with just about any game i play. I have a very addictive personality also....I can sit and play my Socom 3 or Socom Combined Assualt all night long and still go to work and then come back home and play it....One thing that my wife does is she just flat out asks me not to play....She offers other things to do (sometimes its sex) other times its just to watch a movie or go out somewhere.....Most of the time i will respect her decision cuz i know i will just be on it all night and totally oblivious to everything else that is goin on....One other thing that helps me is that she works F-Monday nights as a bartender so i get all the playin in that i want at that time, so when she is at home my attention is with her....Have him find a time that he can play uninterrupted and the rest of the time is yours.

Answer 8

It seems as if this is a problem for a lot of people, me included! I set a two hour computer time limit. The computer is not to be turned on for more than two hours in any 24 hour period. No matter what.

If he won't do that, hide some essential wire. He'll get the hint.

Answer 9

The same way you do with a child. Sit him down. Tell him why you are disturbed by this habit because...... You would like to see him devote some of that time to..... The best marriages work because partners communicate well. Being able to voice concerns and listen to criticism go into that. If you can't tell him this, you need to be spending more alone time togetherand learning to be honest with each other about your feelings. Tell him that, if you have to, that he needs to replace that gaming time working on your marriage, that will at least get his attention

Answer 10

It's going to be hard. This is one thing in life that challenges him and stimulates him. You almost have to be as stimulating to him as the video game. How? I don't know. Sex is only a temporary fix. Because, I used to get off of my wife and on to the playstation. It wasn't until after I left my old job and went back to school that I no longer played video games.

I imagine your husband has a ho-hum job. If so , this is the bright spot in his day, because it is the one thing that offers him mental stimulation. He is extremly bored with life.