I have a husband who is a marine, and i am worried that he is gay. i notice my husband was always going on gay dating sites. I mean i know it was wrong for looking at his email but he left himself logged on and i just needed to know. I lloked at his profile and he had 50 guys saved and he said he was looking for a man for 1 on 1 sex. Recently he dosn't want to kiss me or spend time with me. We have two lovely boys together. And it seems like he never wants to have sex, and when we do he acts like it kills him, and he never initates sex. I am worried that are marriage is just a cover up for him to be a marine, because you are not allowed to be gay. ANY ADVICE?
2007-01-14 13:46:08 · 16 answers · asked by jessica johnes 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Look get away from that!!!! You do not want him bring home any STDs to you. You deserve to be happy. I would be out of there with my two boys. Watch out for the two boys because if he is hiding one sexual urge he might be hiding others. You do not want him taking out his sexual fantasy on your boys. You can try going to a marriage councilor. While it won't save your marriage... it might help him come to terms with who he is. You need to be love for you are and physical affection is a necessary part of life. Right now he is looking to get his. Good luck
2007-01-14 13:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by the queen 3 · 3⤊ 4⤋
Sounds like he has spent waaaaaay too much time with his Marine peers and is now playing for the other team.
Jokes aside, I would confront him about it. You are married, and if he IS having sex with other people, especially Gay sex, he is putiing you at risk for catching something everytime you have sex with him. Don't go at him with anger even though I know it will be hard not to but you need to make him feel comfortable opening up to you cause I doubt this is something he will want to discuss over breakfast.
Hope it all works out for you
2007-01-14 23:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by Brandi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, get some free counseling for yourself, to help you get some perspective. Your husband might be as afraid and confused by this as you are, depending on his personality.
Second, think about getting some legal advice, to arrange your affairs, in case you needed to separate or divorce.
Thirdly, you probably need to consider how to handle this discreetly, since it may or may not be true, and if you shout it all over the base, then it might somehow hurt you or hurt your boys.
Stay calm, it is not the end of the world, just an unexpected and rocky twist. You will be alright, no matter what happens. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-14 21:53:27 · answer #3 · answered by Marc Miami 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He might be. I would highly suggest talking to a professional about this, to help you get through this realization, that is if he is really gay. But, yes, try marriage counseling and see how things go or talk to a psychologist or counselor that could help you out greatly. Good luck, this must be really hard to deal with, especially due to the fact you have two children together...
2007-01-14 21:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by Kiara 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your husband SHOULD discuss his issues... coz I am in fact a woman and I would rather get the information from him if he really was gay rather than getting information from other people.. Talk to him regrading this matter.. ASAP
I can't imagine how his gender might affect your children in the future - bullied for having a gay dad anyway this really affects the children psychologically.. If he is gay just be ready to take some actions..
Good Luck!!
2007-01-14 21:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by *rocker chic* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would admit to him that you mistakenly (or not, whatever the circumstances, as long as your honest about it!) viewed his email account, and just ask him! You should have honest, open communication about your sex life with your husband, and ask him if he's having gay tendancies... it could be he's just curious, perhaps he's bi-sexual, it could just be that he's living a fake life on the internet for the heck of it.
But your best bet is to just come out and ask him, calmly, and whatever the outcome, tell him you love and and support him... remember this is no doubt tough on him too!
The important thing is for this not to have a violent or nasty outcome (even if it ends in divorce, which I hope not for your sake) for the sake of your children.
Also, if I were you, and if he won't talk about it, I would cut off all sexual contact with him and have yourself checked out for STD's "just in case"... cause you never know.
Good luck, hun!
2007-01-14 21:56:02 · answer #6 · answered by Carey_w_98 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for you would be to leave the house with the kids and file for divorce because your marriage is over.
It looks like he wanted you to find out -easier to end the marriage.
Many guys are confused about their sexuality and don't realize it right away - thus marrying women and having kids; that and society's ideals on sexuality.
Go ahead and end the marriage. Find a new life. Maybe you can marry again. It's what YOU want.
2007-01-14 22:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unfortunatley it seems like he is. you could confront him. not in a way that you are raising your voice and pinning him to the wall but just talk to him about what youre thinking. the fact that you read his emails means that there are some trust issues and would probably start an argument. but for the sake of your children and YOU i really think the two of you should talk. im no expert by the way, i responded coz you said any advice. but i really do hope for the best for you and your children
2007-01-14 22:02:22 · answer #8 · answered by meju 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him, there´s no other option. Before you do that, though, you should go through all possible scenarios in your mind and think of what your limits are. Like, if he said, yes, ok, i´m gay but need to stay together because of my career; you need to think about the answer beforehand. Good luck.
2007-01-14 21:55:06 · answer #9 · answered by No se 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is. I mean, dude, if he doesn't want to spend time with you... not good. Even if he isn't gay. But if you really love him, then of course you should ask him!!! "Accidentally" see if he left anything else on his email that would be important to use as evidence. Just make sure he doesn't find out.
Good luck!!! :]
2007-01-14 21:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by brunette babe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋