my ex and i dated for 2 yrs but ended bc we always argued. as friends though, we get a long spendidly and a great friendship formed. however he lied by saying he was going to dump his girlfriend and cheated on her with me. i know it was wrong but i still had feelings for him. anyway... that was a looong time ago and we're both single and friends. he's very skilled in bed so sometimes we makeout, but that's it. i thought we were just friends, until lately he'd been putting my pictures on his wall and wanting to hold my hand, etc. so i told him yesterday that i don't want to mislead him or anything, and that i just think of him as a good friend. he confessed that he wanted a relationship. now he's mad at me and ignoring me.
we've hurt eachother a lot in the past, but... we were fine as friends. now THIS happens.
i really am happiest when i'm with him, and don't want to lose his friendship. i understand him the most, and i care about him despite the fact that he's mad at me now.
HELP!
2007-01-14 13:44:15 · 13 answers · asked by stelze 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You have nothing to lose by trying couples counseling. Learn how you can communicate better with each other. If either of you value the other that much you would give it a try. Otherwise it looks hopeless.
2007-01-14 13:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey the only thing you can do is right now let him be mad at you for a day or so and then call him up ask him if he is willing to sit down and talk about the 'problem.' If he is then great just set up a time and place to meet make sure there are no distraction around and use this method. Set a timer of some sort for a few minutes ask him if you can go first. The way you do it is neither of you can interupt each other while the other is speaking. So you talk and he has to be quiet and listen, when he talks you do the same. Now since your going first try and explain the situation through your eyes. This will help him see things better. Then let him explain it through his eyes. Then you tell him how you feel and ask him if it is all right with him if you just be friends for now, or whatever you choose to do. This should solve your problem. Me and my friend 'Shorty' got in a fight once and our couselor solved it by doing the timer method. Also I'm currently in a situation like yours my ex and I dated for a year and a month I still have feelings for him. I also know he still has feelings for me. I am trying to get through my last year in high school and we fight a considerable amount of time when I'm under stress. About a week ago I sat down and asked him if we could break up now and stay friends and then after school get back together. He wasn't to keen on the idea until I explained everything through my eyes and then he came around and said we would be friends for now and give it another shot after High School. :-) good luck and be careful!
2007-01-14 14:00:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off. She's NOT engaged at 15, -- That's just silly teen talking. I know you can love at 15, I did -- but engagement is a different story. People chance SO much from 15 to an older age. I'm 22 now and I've matured so much since I was 15. -- That being said I think it was wrong of her to date a friends Ex ... that's an off limits zone always! But what's done is done, .. it's been almost a year now and she's lost the friends already.
2016-03-28 22:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you afraid that if you are exclusive, that the relationship will be like it was before you broke up? Or did you just really use him for sex? I think you want the friendship to exist in the boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship. Maybe you like the friendship relationship better because it worked. Maybe you should mesh them together.
All he really wants is to know you are only his to have, and the dating other people option is out. Don't let the friendship end just because you are dating again. Tell him that is what you want, a relationship like what you have now, and dating other people is out.
2007-01-14 14:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jenalyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait a couple of days and then just be yourself and tell him about your feelings . I'm sure he won't be mad at you anymore then, cos in the meantime he'll have thought about all this ... and the importance of your relationship . Don't ever give up . Tell him that you wanna be there for him and that you do need him to be there for you too . I wish you the very best .
2007-01-14 14:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by Seagirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you both still love and care about eachother alot. I would consider being boyfriend and girlfriend again. Everyone argues in relathionships.
Good Luck!!
2007-01-14 13:50:05 · answer #6 · answered by kulpbre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what happens when you make out with a friend. Keep friends on a friendly basis. Forget friends with benefits...I have never seen that work out with anyone.
2007-01-14 13:51:43 · answer #7 · answered by thisismypinkcloud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so.. why do you wanna be just friends?... it seems like you have feelings for him and you're just afraid of what might happen.. like he might hurt you or things will be different.. but you know.. that could be a good thing.... take a chance...
tell him how you feel what you fear and blah.... he might understand or he might ask for a second chance.. give it to him.. if he messes up.... tell him you were meant to be just friends..
2007-01-14 13:50:18 · answer #8 · answered by tsia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to date him and be faithful to him be with him.
If you don't want to be with him and no one else, man up and stop making out with him and leading him on.
he might get mad, but if you want his friendship you have to be honest about what you want and not play with him.
2007-01-14 13:49:51 · answer #9 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll be mad till he gets glad
2007-01-14 13:51:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋