abuse??? help!?

Question

Abuse??? please help. me?
okay, so my dad used to hit me but that's not a problem for now because he's on a vacation. the rest of my family (mom, 3 bros) won’t let me go on msn, on the phone, go to my friend’s house, go outside or anything. I’m not aloud to have like any social life whatsoever! I’m planning on telling my guidance counselor, is this a good idea? Also, what will happen next? Please, I’m very scared. I want to run away. I don't know what to do!
for some reson think I do drugs and smoke and drink.. and I'd never even think of doing that! how could they think this about me? i don't even go outside in the first place because i'm not aloud! they think i do it at school.. also
they try to pick my grade 11 high school courses for me!

i'm 15...........

Answer 1

Oh honey,I know it totally sucks to be 15 years old (how are you 15 and going into 11th grade?:)) Anyway, if you feel that you are indeed being abused in ANY way, go and tell your counselor. That is what they are there for. Not getting to go online, to your friends house, getting on the phone, or going outside is just one of the crappy parts of being 15 and having to live with your parents rules. But...rules are one thing and abuse is something totally different. Why does your family think that you are doing drugs? Have you ever done anything in the past to make them think this about you? Think about it and try to talk to them about it. Don't run away because, for one it is against the law in most states and they will find you(more than likely) and then you will NEVER get to do anything until you are 18 and on top of that you will have to deal with the court aspect of it... and let me tell you that is hell. Try to talk to your family and if that dosen't work... find someone you can talk to. Good Luck, it will all work out. And you only have 3 more years and you can be out on your own. :)

Answer 2

Yes you are DEFINITELY BEING ABUSED! My worry is: what happens when your dad gets back from his vacation from HITTING YOU!!!! What is the deal w/your family? Are they anti-female or what? Do your bro's have privileges that you don't? If so, confront your mom and say it's not fair. I would NOT confront your father, as he's clearly violent!

Why do your bros. get all the attention and privileges? You need someone nearby who can help. But for now...YOU NEED TO GET OUT! Child abusers almost ALWAYS get worse and the ones they're married to (your mom or stepmom) almost always go along with them!

The best thing you can do is let some other adults fight this battle for you (for now). Tell a teacher and/or counselor that you trust, what has been going on. They probably will try to get your parents in for counseling first (which your parents DESPERATELY NEED!!!...they are REALLY messed up!).

If your parents won't do it, the counselor and/or judge will either lay down the law (and it IS a law!), that your dad is NOT allowed to hit you!) and tell them, "Look, either you get your a** into family counseling for your daughter's sake or you go to family court." Strangely, many if not most child abusers, are so afraid of losing the victim, they’ll cooperate.

If they don’t do what they're told, you NEED TO TELL SOMEONE and get out! The next step could be locking you up in a closet or worse! You can’t live your life like this, and yes, you may have heard awful stories about foster homes (which are USUALLY the last resort), but what’s worse, those or living with the abuse of your own family?!

Check out these links, which can give YOU places to get help, since your mother and brothers sound almost as abusive as your father!

If you don’t feel comfortable going it alone, get to a neighbor’s or friend’s house ASAP, esp. before your father gets back, and tell them. If it’s an immediate danger, CALL THE POLICE! Most child abusers also try to maintain a “squeaky clean” image in the community, which an arrest would ruin! DO NOT let your abuser scare you into lying that you "fell down stairs" etc.! YOUR BEST BET IS TO TELL THE TRUTH and get to a safe place

If all else fails, please e-mail me and I’ll check w/my various contacts ( I worked in health for teens for many yrs. I know many caring people who can help guide you what to do!). The bottom line is: YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS! Don’t let these wicked people make you feel like you deserve it or that you’re less than you are! You should be happy!

First, call 1-800-THE-MISSING (they deal w/abused kids too). Then check out:

www.preventchildabuse.org
www.childhelpusa.org
www.nccafv.org ( an organization of volunteers)

P.S.: DON'T listen to people here like "Chucky's bride" and "frogfairy" who think your father's abuse is just "discipline" (what the HELL?!) or that you're just "spoiled"! These people CLEARLY don't know what they're talking about or thinks that abuse is another form of "controlling" a child! THEY DON"T MATTER! WHAT MATTERS IS YOUR SAFETY! Don't let anyone tell you differently! I feel so badly for you! <:(

Answer 3

yes, it's a good idea to tell your guidance counselor. what will happen next? maybe nothing. it's likely she'll call your mom though. can you get involved in an after-school program or club? that might be one way to spend some time away and be with other people.

I don't know about in your state, but in mine, once you turn 16, you can have yourself declared independant and move out and there's nothing your parents can do about it. check the phone book for your local Family Independence Agency. that's where you'd have to go to do it. (if you do that, look into getting your GED because living away and completing high school might be tough.) The FIA can be tough to work with, you may have to skip a few classes to get an apointment with them. Be clear on what you want when you talk to them. They'll try to convince you to stay at home. Good luck, hon.

If you think you can stick it out at home, it's a lot easier when someone else is paying all the bills,

Oh, and you could report your dad to social Services for hitting you. They'd come and do an investigation, but best case scenario, you'd end up in foster care. worst case, they'd find nothing wrong, and your dad would beat the sh** out of you for reporting him.

I'm so sorry, but laws and angencies are not really designed all that well for protecting minors.

Answer 4

I would most definatly talk to your counselor who will most likely contact social services and have them look into it and from there it may end in your parents being charged.

Your dad can get charged for abuse and what your parents are doing is basically keeping you prisoner inside the house,that is not right and they need a serious sit down or a judge to kick them in the behind

Answer 5

I remember then day when I found out my cousin's father was beating her. I told a teacher and then I was called down to the office to confirm it. The school called the police and asked her if she wanted to press charges agaisnt her father. She did press charges agasint him and moved into another family members home.

You dont need to be beaten, you dont need this abuse. Your a wonderful person who has done nothing wrong. Your father needs help.

Dont be scared, cause at the end you'll be a stronger person :)

Answer 6

YES!!!!!!! You should tell your counselor about this!!!!!!!!!!!

It is not good that your dad hits you !! You need to tell the cops the next time!!! How old are your brothers??? Do they suffer from the abuse???? YOu might alt to tell a family member who you know you can trust and won't tell your dad that you told them!!!

Answer 7

mkay.. running away is the last thing you want to do.. I KNOW I HAVE DONE IT 3 TIMES.. its illegal and you can go to juvi for it. telling your guidance counselor is a good thing to do... fortunately i didnt because i dont like to start telling ppl about my problems.. but if you can PLEASE DO IT. you can always get out of them picking your classes for you.. we do a pre enrollment the year before to get your classes prepared for you.. choose your classes then if you have that..or tell the administrator of the classes about the situation.. they will help. and the whole thing about them thinking you drink and smoke.. my mom thought so to.. only because i didnt really do nething else bad and SHE WANTED ME TO. she was a very abusive mother and wanted to see me do something wrong so she could justify her hitting me. and if neone tells you to try to talk to your mother and father.. PLEASE DONT because honestly it only makes it worse... they try to make it sound like you are telling them.. (they are bad parents.) but no we couldnt be saying that (wink*wink) but they def. take offense to it. if you ever want to talk on msn if you can i would be more than happy to talk to you .... [e-mail] btw i always went into my own world by listening to music and drawing i am a major creator... maybe you should find your high point and take yourself away wen they are mad or something.. usually worked for me.
i hope this helps.. at least a little

Answer 8

ok i went thur the same thing i told my princible and the saw the marks on me then i went to my moms and there was nothing thst they could do do you have a nother plce to go that shows that you will still go to school and still be taken care of in all the proper ways if so then your set but mske sure this is what you want

Answer 9

I STOP READING YOU NEED TO GO AND GO BEFORE HE COME BACK OR CALL 911 OR CALL A GOOD FRIEND TO LOOK AT THE HOUSE MORE

Answer 10

Maybe its your friends they don't like so they're this way to keep you from turning out like them. No it is not abuse. The guidence counsler can't and won't do anything.