My husband went on a 5-day trip with his buddies on his birthday and called me only 3 times while he was away, each time rushed and very short. Once when he called, he called me "Girl." He usually calls me "sweetheart' or something equally endearing, and I was suprised by his distance. We usually talk extensively. I had a pretty eventful week with work and socially and was very disappointed he basically ignored me the whole week. I was very supportive of the trip but didn't expect he'd just dismiss me while he was away. I had sent him an email the day after he left promising him a naughty suprise when he got back. I feel so hurt that he dismissed me the last week, the last thing I want to do is reward him for it. I've been very upset the last couple of days and am afraid I'll be so upset with him when he gets home tonight. Please help! Am I being unreasonable? How should I approach him?
2007-01-14 12:09:54 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you lay the guilt trip thing on him you are looking for big trouble.. men do NOT understand this sort of thing.. married 30 yrs and hubby still has NO clue as to the whys that a woman wants contact... so , I suggest you greet him with a smile, then after he has been home for a while, like maybe an hr or so, after he is relaxed and all, maybe ask him WHY he did not contact you like you thought he *would* NOT *should*, the word *would* suggest the ball is in his court and does not back him into a corner of defense... see what he has to say about it all before you loose your cool.... and maybe suggest that sense he had so much fun on his trip you might be thinking about taking a b-day trip next yr... and during the talk i would suggest you very gently tell him how hurt you felt for the sense of neglect you felt at not being able to speak to him about what a good time he was having... try not to NAG, as the men say, that leaves YOU open for more hurt feelings... God bless
2007-01-14 12:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I can see where you are coming from. However, when men are with their buddies they don't always want to talk sweet nothings to the wife. If you are concerned that he may not being with who he says he is check it out. Otherwise, let it go. When he gets home and he's had a chance to settle back in to the routine of home life and its quiet, approach the subject of how you felt while he was gone. Do it calmly though starting an argument never settles anything.
2007-01-14 20:38:52 · answer #2 · answered by sweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chalk it up to the "worst" (you know, your VOWS...) and let him enjoy the rest of his birthday season. Do your thing but add a little punishment to it. Like, ya know, maybe run out and pick up a cat 'o nine tails from Breanna's house or something. Trust me, you will get a chance to see what the heck was up or be very assured about what happened. Be a real woman and work it girl. Don't wreck it, GIRL. I'm not teasing you, just pumpin you up girlfriend style.
2007-01-14 20:18:56 · answer #3 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to tell him how you feel. Ask hime if there is a reason for the emotional distance he put between you and if he really feels that way and realized it when he was away maybe you two have things to work out. I would definetly talk to him though. Tell him you love him and are hurt by his insensitivty. Then when you figure it out together seduce him with all those dirty things you srote him about.
2007-01-14 20:17:35 · answer #4 · answered by kelene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh so your naughty e-mail is valid only if he kisses your a s s while away with his buddies,,,hum sounds like a control issue to me. You should go ahead and fullfill the e-mail and a bit more, choose a day in the next week to tell him how your feeling were hurt.
But I think you may be a little petty here.
2007-01-14 20:14:59 · answer #5 · answered by brp_13 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would just tell him there is no reason for trying to beat around the bush with it .. It is how you feel and he is your husband he should and will respect that ..If you feel you can not tell him have him read what you just wrote here in your question and then the topic will be brought up and you to can discuss it openly ..Hope this helps you out and I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-14 20:16:48 · answer #6 · answered by april_sundae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO YOUR NOT! THAT SOUNDS LIKE HE DEFINITELY WAS OFF WITH A WOMAN. HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO ANY OF HIS GUYS WOMEN? YOU NEED TO. IF I WERE YOU WHEN HE GOT BACK I WOULD ACT AS IF NOTHING WAS WRONG AND JUST SAY THAT YOUR BUSY. IF HE BRINGS UP THE EMAIL SAY THAT YOU DIDN'T PLAN ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET A REPLY PLUS SOME THINGS CAME UP THAT YOU NEEDED TO TAKE CARE OF THEN JUST GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS AND KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED ON HIM. WATCH HIM UNPACT WASH HIS CLOTHES DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE HE CAN BE TRUSTED.
THE LAST THING ANYONE WANTS IS TO BE SOMEONES FOOL.
ASK HIM TO TALK AND TELL HIM THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THINKING THAT YOU GUYS SHOULD START SEEING OTHER PEOPLE JUST TO THROW HIM OFF BALANCE. (SORRY YOUR MARRIED)
MEN NEED IT FROM TIME TO TIME OR LIKE A DOG THEY GET BORED. YOU GET THE IDEA. GOOD LUCK
2007-01-14 20:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Peek@u 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he had a naughty week with his buddies. Come over here for a week and call him like he called you and see how he feels. Tell him you're having a naughty week with me.
2007-01-15 00:14:34 · answer #8 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he talking to you on a cell phone, or maybe a regular phone when his buddies were right there with him?
Maybe he was just embarrassed about talking sweet nothings in front of the guys.
As him about that when he gets home.
2007-01-14 21:19:23 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know he's with the guys. men have egos when they are with there Buddies. if he come home acting the same way, then you confront him. but if he come home the same way he left don't trip on the small stuff. he was just enjoying time with his buddies. don't forget to give him your surprise
2007-01-14 20:22:29 · answer #10 · answered by raquel j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋