I worked in adult entertainment for 6 years. I danced, did magazines and video. I can't explain even to myself what made me make those choices then. I have been out of the industry for 8 years, and have become a completely different person mentally and spiritually. I am embarrased and ashamed that I let myself sink that low, but more importantly, I hve met man that I love with ll of my heart, and even though I told him about my past, I did not go into explicit detail the way I should have. My son found pictures of me in a suitcase I intendeed to burn, bu he foud it efore I did. Now my boyfriends entire family, including his teenage son know about my past. I have tried to explainn to him that I am not the same person who did all of those things and have accomplised so many things I am proud of since then. I do not even recognize the person I was then and wish I had the clarity and conviction and self-respect I have now, but he vehemently hates anything to do with that business. help
2007-01-14 11:59:41 · 8 answers · asked by james s 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It seems to be a very difficult situation...Somehow you need to regain his trust.If he loves you enough he will eventually let it go but until then you have to be patient and give him time to get over it...
2007-01-14 12:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Marianna D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a doctor and adopting many children? When would you have time? Most doctors I know work 60-90 hours a week. If you were working in the industry as a performer, yes, your chances of adopting are small unless you hide the information that you were an actress in porn movies or a stripper. If you were doing other kinds of jobs that supported performances, not a problem at all. For instance, if you were a boom operator, it doesn't matter if you work with a high end studio or low end porno. Keep in mind that social workers are just as negative towards machinists and factory workers when it comes to adoption applications.
2016-03-28 21:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but I see "your past" as a non-issue. Its your past, not your "now." I do think you should have explained it in a no-nonesense kind of way, (a matter of fact, here it is, its in the past, lets go from here) method. As you said, its your past and your beyond that. However, I personally see nothing wrong in that lifestyle choice. People do what they do and there is NO REASON to apologize for their past. Notice I didn't say "past mistakes" because to me what you did was no mistake, it just WAS. You made alot of people happy, earned a living and made it through this period, it sounds like, unscathed. Congratulations!
Try to move on FROM HERE, the here and now. Try to get your boyfriend to realize that you've had no contact, no movies, no pictures, etc., in the present, therefore your past is JUST THAT, your past. If nothing else, give him a copy of the Serenity Prayer, about "changing the things we can change, accepting the things we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Simply make apologizes to him and your son, the rest of the family is owed nothing. Tell them the truth as you see it and how much you love and owe to them in the present.
Good luck!
2007-01-14 12:16:29 · answer #3 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past. We have ALL done things in the past that we may wish we would have done differently. This doesn't make you a bad person (just like you were not a bad person when you were in the industry). You deserve to be appreciated for what you are now and if you are a good caring loving person then all of that does matter. I think if this person is truly in your corner and loves you he will be able to accept all of you , even your past. Wishing you all the best.
2007-01-14 12:11:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sugah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My immediate thought was that your lover is going to love you unconditionally and I hope that thought was true. My suggestion for you is that now you have quit engaging in the activity that brought you to such low morality that your next step should be to see a therapist and really find out why you do that to yourself. That way you can understand and ultimately stop the plaguing guilt and forgive. This is just a suggestion there are many ways to understand what you have done but in my experience you must find understanding. Its very empowering. You can catch a horse thief and he will not be able to steel horses but he is still a horse thief. Good luck to you my man and you can do it!
2007-01-14 12:23:30 · answer #5 · answered by renew69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time to reconcile himself to what he now knows.
You've written that you are embarrassed and ashamed of what you did, but you cannot change your past. You both have to accept that that was then and this is now and hopefully continue to build a relationship.
2007-01-14 12:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to be in the adult entertainment industry myself lol
2007-01-14 12:08:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he loves you, he'll eventually accept your past, and see you for who you are now.
2007-01-14 12:05:09 · answer #8 · answered by EitS Fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋