im at an awful place in this relationship, we have been togather 6 years now and our second child will be born within a few weeks, she mistreats and belittles me constantly, she is as neglectful and unsupportive that i could imagine someone could be, when we ''broke up''(she got on pills that she didnt have a perscription to and left taking the majority of MY belongings and destroyed them) for 3 months, she f*cked half the city within a short time, and 1 month later became a rent-a-slut, i mean stripper...NONE of which she admited to, yeah...i busted her in everything i have found out about, she came forth with NONE of it...and i know theres more, i know specifically of a few things, and im waiting on her to be honest with me, but she still swears theres nothing else...i have told her i know that there is, and i have more info, but she tells me im bluffing to try to get more info, which is false....i have found naked pics of her on the internet and she even denies that its her!
2007-01-14 11:02:43 · 23 answers · asked by beatdown 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
all i can say is wow, i have never posted here before, but i am amazed at how many people have responded in such a short time...first of all i'd like to sincerely thank everyone who has responded because i really have noone else to speak with about all of this: im too ashamed to speak with everyone in 'real life' to speak with them about it...hopefully you understand...
ill try to address the recursive themes which were brought up in the initial responses and elicidate you on my response to each...
1) i know that THIS child is mine for several reasons, not the least of which is that she looks exactly like me...
2) i went back to her for several reasons, amongst the most predominant were 1) my child, unfortunately were are in the south atm after my firm up north went under...and i dont know how many of you are unfortunate enough to be familiar with the legal system down here but...the mother nearly always gets the child, until about a decade ago it was legislated that way...
2007-01-14 15:41:55 · update #1
You are not going to change her, this isn't Pretty Woman.
She is a nut job and needs to be under surveilance not in a relationship.
Drop this woman, get the kids and go to a safe place to raise them. Give them a chance, hers is done.
2007-01-14 11:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by Brian D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the same advice applies to you that I recently gave another friend, make a list of good and bad things about her and you will see that you are better off finding someone else and letting her go. she sounds like a loser and even though you have been together for this long, she may have been cheating on you the whole time and if she was together with someone else the child may not even be yours - demand a dna test if she claims it is. There really is a soul mate for everyone but you wont find yours until you get rid of her and start looking elsewhere!!
2007-01-14 11:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People stay in abusive relationships for many different reasons. Surely you can see that she is mistreating you....maybe not. The enabler, that being you, will make up alot of different excuses, rationalize, justify, minimize, certain things in order to keep the peace, for themselves, and others. You've already done it,: she's pregnant, she's on pills, etc. and god knows what else is reakky going on. For the sake of the children, and your mental health, I'd start making a plan to get out of that situation. Men are as abused as women. research it on the computer a little...you'll see what i mean...Also, you can call a shelter hotline for advice, it's free and anonymous, I wish you luck, sincerely.
2007-01-14 11:19:39 · answer #3 · answered by virgin52 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you waiting for? Either get out and stop playing house or grow up and communicate with her. Get some counseling, together. You say you're about to welcome your second kid into the world? Well then you should be more worried about your kids than her latest drama! Tell her everything you "know" and bring the proof. It may not be her on the net, I have plenty of people out there that look like me. Be open and honest with her, ask her what she's afraid of. Don't make it about you, ask her how she is. this is how you communicate. Find out what her needs are and do your best to meet them. Are you married? If not, stop trying to act like it. If you want to be with her for the rest of your life then tell her that, if she wants the same thing get married, if she doesn't get out.
2007-01-14 11:12:03 · answer #4 · answered by Jnine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Beatdown,
You're at a unfortunate dilemma, you need to rid yourself of this woman, I don't care if you have 2 children, shes no f-ing good for you let alone children. Take your proof and get a restraining order to keep her from your children once the second is born. You need to get a lawyer though don't try and do this yourself or it could backfire. Talk to the attorney and I'm sure you could get one (restraining order) using her as a unfit mother (by what she has done). Good Luck!
2007-01-14 11:21:41 · answer #5 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This is big. You have two kids and now the marriage is messed up. How are the kids. You have a chose to make my friend stay with her or let her go. One thing I know you cant do is chase behind her. Your going to find your self in some crazy situation. Yo man take care of those kids
2007-01-14 11:13:23 · answer #6 · answered by michael s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what is it you are asking? I'm not trying to be sarcastic but just read what you wrote. You have all of your answers right before you. You need to get out of that situation right away, but I have concern for your children. If she is really doing all the things that you claim you have proof of, I would make sure that they are even yours. If she is an unfit mom, then you need to contact someone to do what's best for the children. Good luck to you, there's someone better out there for you.
2007-01-14 11:13:03 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Zoey ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez! Sorry to hear about your dilema. I guess you need to ask yourself if you still love her and if you can keep putting yourself through all this. Is it worth it? Let her know how much you care about her and that you are concerned. Let her know how this is affecting your family. It will affect the kids lives too. Honestly, I don't know how you are dealing with this. You shouldn't have to either. Give her an ultimadem (didn't spell that right) and stick to it, no matter how much it hurts. You have to respect yourself. No one deserves to be put-down and hurt by a person who is supposed to love you. Good luck.
2007-01-14 11:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by hilton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dang, you have alot on your plate... have you been honest?? if so, then it's time to go and find you someone else that will love you and put in an equal amount of time into the relationship, sounds like she doesn't care and just wants you as a door mat.
2007-01-14 11:47:44 · answer #9 · answered by shelly v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please understand you are put on this earth to be loved, not abused. She, for whatever reason is in self-sabotage mode (not your fault)
I personally would be thinking of the children at this point. Get full custody of the children and take a walk. Log down every event of every day, and build a case against her. The kids are top priority at this point!
2007-01-14 11:11:08 · answer #10 · answered by easygoingfemale44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋