Yea! I just found out that we're having another baby! This was planned, but getting the positive result just drove reality home.
My main concern is to make the transition for my older child as smooth as possible. I feel that we do have a little bit of an advantage because he has to share me with my 15 wk old niece 5 days a week, so he's used to including another baby in our routine. However, this is going to be way different, isn't it?
I guess what I'm looking for is advice, personal experiences, and anything else that may prove helpful. My goal is to be as educated and equipped as possible.
Thank you!
2007-01-14 10:54:39 · 16 answers · asked by CatTech 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!
I have 2 sons that were about the same distance apart.
I don't think there was ever too much sibling rivalry with the boys BECAUSE they were so close in age.
They never really had the hand-me-down problem because once they hit school age they pretty much wore the same size clothing.
I think my older son didn't feel much jealousy because we included him in every aspect of the new child's life. I always took him to the doctor appointments so he couild listen to his baby brother. After the birth my older son helped with changing,burping,bathing,playing....everything! I know that alot of times letting the older child be so involved requires alot more time and patience but believe me ...it's worth it. It helps to establish family togetherness and helps the older child with self-esteem issues....to know that he and his efforts are necessary to the harmony of the family unit. That even though he's not the only baby he is still just as important and isn't being replaced or devalued only that now there is another person in the family to love.
I know how much energy it takes! You really need to establish some kind of loose schedule to keep things on track but it is so worth all of your effort!!
It goes SooOO fast!!!
And really now that you have become a mother there really is nothing else that should take priority. They and their strong emotional development is extremely important!! If not you then who....right?
Again, Congratulations!!
Enjoy your beautiful gift!
2007-01-14 11:25:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your 9 month baby will be fine with the new bundle of joy. Speaking from experience, I have noticed that babies that are brought into a sociable environment tend to be more open to accepting to new babies. As well, I don't know how much your child will have an attachment issue, but if your child has already experienced other children around them, then I don't think your child will experience that. I would start explaining to your child that theres a new baby on the way. When you get bigger I suggest having your baby give the new baby hugs. That way your baby will know what to expect. This has worked for my bestfriend. Just let your child know, get them prepared and the new baby should be welcomed with no problem!
2007-01-14 19:01:38 · answer #2 · answered by ~carmie~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will be fine! Try making the older child comfortable by allowing him to be a part of the pregnancy. Let him help pick out stuff for the nursery, go to an occasional Dr. visit, etc.
Do not take things from him for the baby. For example, if you need to use the crib for the baby, take the older son out to buy a toddler bed well before the birth.
Finally, I would suggest you keep a journal. This will help you with your own feelings. Mine are 20 months apart. I was worried about having enough love, time, etc. to go around. I also had the same worries as you about the older son accepting the baby. Journaling helped me figure out my own thoughts and feelings.
2007-01-14 19:02:50 · answer #3 · answered by bonlwick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok my advice is to seriously plan your first month after the new baby comes home. I have two kiddos 14 months apart. I had planned on having freezer meals and never got around to it. That was a HUGE mistake. It was very hard having a 14mo that was hardly walking and a newborn that didn't want set down. It would have made my life so much easier to have meals in the freezer to thaw an cook when I needed them instead of standing cooking. Where was my husband you might be asking right about now, he was working 2 jobs to keep diapers on the kids that we had.
Also, don't be afraid to ask your friends and family for help. My kids spent a long time on opposite napping schedules. This was SO hard! I love my kids so much, but it is nice to spend an hour not holding someone.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-14 19:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by netlocmom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To prepare, talk a lot about it during the pregnancy. Make it sound fun and exciting to have a younger sibling. Call the baby "(Joey's) baby brother or sister," for example, to get your son involved and help him to see the baby as part of his own life.
I remember when my mom was in the hospital with my sister, I got a present in a drawer in the room each time I visited. I also got a button that said, "I'm the big sister."
Include your son in caring for his younger sibling. Let him help change diapers, give bottles of water, hold the baby while he's sitting on the couch, and play with the baby. Also make sure he still gets alone time with you and his dad frequently.
Congratulations and good luck!
2007-01-14 19:05:02 · answer #5 · answered by cucumberlarry1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he'll be okay :) My oldest son was 13m old when I had our 2nd son. And he was used to having me all to himself ALL the time. He still adjusted very easily.
My best advice is to include your son in everyway possible when it comes to caring for the baby. Ask him to help hand you a diaper when its diaper changing time, or the baby wash when its bath time. Let him interact with the baby as much as he can (always closely supervised of course ;)) Let him sit on your lap and hold the baby. Help him play gently with the baby. If he feels included, it'll be a much easier adjustment for him. And praise him like crazy for being such a big helper and a great big brother. Toddlers are usually alll about wanting to help so if he feels like he's really helping out and being a big contributer to the family he'll feel great and he WONT feel left out :)
Good luck!
2007-01-15 03:00:20 · answer #6 · answered by jmnixon1981 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Good luck......you will have the demands of an 18(ish) month old and a new baby......that is going to be hard because "sleep when the baby sleeps" won't happen if the toddler is not sleeping....
I would say try to find balance, pay lots of individual attention to the older baby too, and get LOTS of help those early weeks.
Good luck!!!
2007-01-14 19:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by ShellyLynn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my brother and me are 11 months apart..it was hard on our mom when we were you especially since we had another brother when I was 2..but us 3 stayed close...the first 2 of us were like twins. If you can handle it calmly you will have a lovely, loving family. If you scream and yell and hit your children they will resent you....be kind.
I also had a child a year after I was married and 18 months later twins..they are extremely close now...they had each other to play with..raising them was fun. ps..I had 3 more after them..we all survived...lol
2007-01-14 19:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by debbie2243 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never was pregnant, but I took sex ed, & I learned that it's usual for people to get pregnant again within such a short time span. I knew a young girl who had a 7 month old baby & was 5 mos. pregnant. I don't see how she could do it.
2007-01-14 19:09:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When they are going to be that close together.. they will pretty much grow up together.. on the same level.. so the only thing i can say is, when the older one is acting a little younger.. dont be upset.. or if the older one is acting older. dont be surprised!
2007-01-14 19:00:22 · answer #10 · answered by Hannah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋