A friend of mine (she's female and I am a man) wants to leave her abusive husband, but she keeps crying that she doesn't think another man will ever want her again and she will die lonely...she's mid-40's and a little overweight, but nothing serious!
How do I make her feel confident and pretty enough so that she can make her decision honestly....without actually me hitting on a married woman?
2007-01-14 10:37:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thats the best way to do it, tell her that you see her as an attractive woman, and that nothing is wrong with her. tell her just because her husband doesn't see her that way doesn't mean that other men out there won't find her sexy. talk to her and tell her she is beautiful and sexy and that there are millions of guys out threre that will say the same.
2007-01-14 10:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dory Ian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude this is a touchy situation. Me, I would take what she is saying as a way of her telling me that if I would become involved with her then she will leave her abusive husband. Your friend has a serious self worth issue. She feels that she isn't good enough for herself, however she is available for someone to use her body as they would wish on the condition that they take care of her. This woman will always be in an abusive relationship until she actually matures to the point that she is the most important person in her life. I suggest that you guide your friend to a medical doctor so that she can be placed on the correct dosage and the correct medication, then when she has realized what kind of emotional damage that she has done to her self, then I would guide her to the right therapist so that she could begin her emotional healing. That is what I will do for a friend. Whether or not the marriage can be saved is up to those two. Who knows, you may make a new friend, her husband!
2007-01-14 10:54:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like her self esteem if very low. It will even get lower when she finally makes her move away from her husband. there is a grieving period even if the marriage was bad. You better back off for a while. She has to really know who she is and what she wants out of life before she can get involved in another relationship, or it will be doomed too. Try to just be a friend for now, she will need support to get through this. Don't let her think she has something to run to. She has to stand on her own first, before she can stand with you.
2007-01-14 11:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's OK to tell her that you find her attractive. Then encourage her to get some new clothes and get her hair done etc. You are right, however, to be cautious. She could find you as a savior in her time of trouble. Just make your friendship clear and that your are not vieing for any romantic attention.
The sad fact is that what she is saying has probably been told to her over and over by her abusive husband. Only hearing it from others that it is untrue will help make it so, until she finds it true for herself.
You might also encourage her to contact her local women's shelter. They offer support groups that will help her to build her self-esteem.
Good luck - good friend.
2007-01-14 10:49:45 · answer #4 · answered by Ande 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can really do is try to make her see that she is better off alone than with an abusive man. She has to get away from him and I hope you can help her see that. There is someone out there for everyone.
2007-01-14 10:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-13 06:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might be married but if you can get her to leave that loser just do it. You might end up saving her life
2007-01-14 10:42:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her who gives a **** about other people...get out fast....when she leaves the stress will go away and that is prolly one of the reasons she is overweight....she doesnt deserve to be treated the way she is and needs to get help....tell her she is pretty...over and over...and tell her to get the **** out before he beats her to death....
2007-01-14 10:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her! just like that! Be honest, tell her you're not hitting on her, but you want her to know.
2007-01-14 10:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pampering spa :-D With a workout gym in it.
2007-01-14 10:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by lildevilgurl152004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋