You may not have known this
But i have to say
That I think your Incredable
In every single way
My heart is a writer
And it just write a song
About you and me
And where we belong
You had a speacial place in my heart
So boy please dont let it go
and even though were apart
i still love you so
Chorus
I dont wanna be true to anybody else but you
cuz your my basket to my ball
your my back to my pack
your my tele to my phone
and i just wanna say i wanna be with you
Verse 2
You may not have known this but i have to say
that i think your beautiful
in every single way
Boy i know we sepreated
but man i need your love
To me your like this
special little gift from above
You need a real woman in yo life
Not that thing that you call your girlfriend
She dont respect you
she aint even true to ya neither
Chorus x1
YEA!
cuz your my basket to my ball
your my back to my pack
your my tele to my phone
and i just wanna say
i wanna be with you
2007-01-14 10:10:41 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
im only 12 so it wont be professional so yea.. what do ya think?
and i aksed this in music but i wanna see if i can get more answers here..
ok thx bye
2007-01-14 10:11:32 · update #1
or like what can i do to make it better?
or what words can i replace it with?
thx
2007-01-14 10:36:56 · update #2
the words sound good... and i know that you might not know this yet.. but it always helps to know what kind of tune you are thinking of when you share it with people and that is kinda hard to share with on here but then people know exactly how you sing it and read it b/c people can read it in many different ways with different beats and everything.. but the words sounded good
2007-01-14 10:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well because your 12 I will give you a break. However there is way to many cliched lines in it. Your chorus is very weak as well. The last 4 lines of the second verse are horrendous.
Sorry to sound a little mean but you learn more from criticism than compliments. Keep trying.
2007-01-14 10:17:32 · answer #2 · answered by mrlebowski99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, my taste is for more sophisticated songwriting, but for what it is, I think it's good. And, if it's worth anything, the line, "Your my tele to my phone", made me smile.
2007-01-14 10:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ape Ape Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds suspiciously like "beautiful" by Christina Agulara. or w/e her name is.
But it's good, especially for you only being 12!
2007-01-14 10:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very good! The chrous needs a little work, but besides that it is good!
2007-01-14 10:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its awesome. especially the chorus
2007-01-14 10:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
better than anything i could come up with
2007-01-14 10:15:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
iy was great for your age, do you sing also?
2007-01-14 10:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by sexy momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. : )
2007-01-14 10:20:37 · answer #9 · answered by Chistiaŋ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋