Pregnant. Advice Please.?

Question

Ok so i'm pregnant. My mother knows and i'm 17. I'll be 18 in July. Although i'm still in school I've been had all of my credits to graduate. I just haven't because I'd rather rack up more credits. I have like 250 so far and I only needed 225. I'm an exceptionally good student and scored really well on the SAT's and I know that college will help me to get a better job. Yes, I do want to go to college and have been applying. My mother asked me did I want to have the baby and I do since i'm kinda of against abortion (for myself, not for others). My boyfriend knows and wants it, but he knows that his parents would trip out and send him away like to the military. He's 17 too and won't be 18 until August. Should I get an abortion? How can I manage college, a baby, working, and my boyfriends family? How can his parents not understand? I don't want to be a single parent, that's REALLY the only reason i'm contemplating abortion.

Answer 1

Have you considered adoption? I know it sounds like a difficult choice, but you have to do what is best for your baby. There are a lot of hopeful parents out there that would be able to give your child the love and attention the baby would need and deserve at this time. There isn't a doubt that you wouldn't be able to love and nurture this baby as well, but sometimes timing isn't perfect and you will be able to provide better for a child a couple years down the road and can plan to have a baby. Abortion is a terrible way to go, especially when so many people want to have babies and can't. I would definitely consider adoption as an alternative route. You will then be able to complete college and not have the stress of working full time and trying to provide for your child as well. Good luck!

PS If you do consider adoption, I know of two websites that are very helpful:
www.parentprofiles.com
www.itsaboutlove.org

Answer 2

You have a strong family bond and you also have a pretty good head on your shoulders. In reading your words, I am proud of you. I had my first at 15 way back in the day and while my family was there for me the educational system said that if you were of school age and pregnant, even with very good academics you had to go to a night school or a school for pregnant teens. My Mom fought for me, I went my whole sophomore year from September to June when my daughter was born. I then return to my high school for my junior year and because I had achieved all of my credits I only had 4 classes in the a.m., and worked in a law office in the afternoon. I completed my junior and senior year and graduated in the top 10 of my class and out of the top ten of us two of us were mothers. So don't be deterred, no matter what, hold strong to what it is that you want and you and your baby will grow together. My first daughter and I have a very very close relationship, I am her mother, I raised her, not my Mom or anyone else, I raised my child. It can be done and I do believe you will do it. Even the principal of my high school told me that both I and my unborn child would be nothing but numbers on the welfare roll, I wish I could see is a$$ now, my daughter has a number of degrees in psychology and I always had very good jobs, so we were never on welfare and to top that I had two other daughters, one at 19 and another at 23, GOD IS GOOD and I went on to obtain a college education. It is not over, but I do beleive that we made it, all have very good educations and jobs and I have no grandkids, yet. Abortion is your choice and I am not going to say it is going to be easy, because it won't, but where there is a WILL there is a WAY and just sit and imagine where you and your child will be in life 20, 30 years from now, the time does fly and time does ease the scraps and bumps of life. God Bless.

Answer 3

Well it sounds like your family is there to help you. You said you were against abortion so why are you even thinking that?? I know a few girls who had a baby when they were 16, and they went to college and got great jobs and were able to support the baby. If your parents are willing to help then plan out something so you can go to college and they can watch the baby. It can be done, it will be hard but not impossible. As for your bf no matter what you always have a chance that he will leave you. Not alot of guys that age stay with the mothers. But he might stay with you. If he does leave that does not mean he wont be in the childs life though. And again like I said some guys are like that not all.

Answer 4

It sounds like you havea good head on your shoulders. What would YOU feel like if you had an abortion? This decision is entirely in your hands. No one else can help you. You really need to think about it before you decide.

As far as managing college, a baby, working, and your boyfriend- it won't be easy, but nothing is impossible. I had my first child at 16, second at 18, and third at 22. I'm 24 now, and I graduate college in May, a little late, but better than never.

Answer 5

Your boyfriends family is not a problem, they can not say anything because he is going to be 18 soon and once he hits 18 they have no say in what he does and they can not ship him off to the military, it is against the law to force someone into the military.

You and your boyfriend want this baby, that is all that matters not anything else, it is up to you two not your family or your boyfriends family.

I know it is going to be hard but you can manage, I had a baby at 17 and I graduated and am in college and work and I have been a single mom, before my son was even born his dad was based in a diffrent state that is about a 20 hour drive from me and my son so he rarely sees our son. Yes it can be hard but at the end of the day I get to come home to my 2 year old son and he makes me so happy. Seeing as your going to college your baby can go to the daycare on campus, every college campus has a daycare and im not sure about all of them but I know mine is free.

You should go to justmommies.com and check out the teen mommies and mommies to be forum and go to the student mommies forum, they all know what your going threw.

Answer 6

well--it does sound like you have an awesome support system in your family.
only YOU can make this decision for yourself. if you wouldnt think about doing this otherwise--you cant let 'him' be that deciding factor.
there is a reason why you are pregnant now--god doesnt give us anything he knows we cant handle
regardless of what his family might do--this is your baby & his--you will both be 18 soon, legal adults.
this is your decision to make & you only have one chance to make it.
I dont know how far along you are, but Im sure you dont have too much longer to decide.
you can break ties with your b/f for now if need be, that way he wont have to tell them until he's 18, although Im sure eventually they will end up hearing.
you never know--they may actually take it differently than you think.
if I were in your situation with the support from my family, I would be keeping the baby--sooner or later his parents would have to come around.
he is almost 18--they really cant send him anywhere for too long.

if do do have an abortion because his parents wont understand--you will spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if'

good luck-I wish you the best with your decision.

Answer 7

If you are against abortion, contemplate adoption. A baby will definately complicate your life, that's just what they do. If you do not want to deviate from your life plan, then let your baby be a blessing to another family. If adoption is too hard, consider adopting your baby to a member of your family or your boyfriends family. Also you can give your baby up for adoption with strings attached, you give the baby to someone else provided that the baby will be taught who its birth family is and you will be given visitation rights. There are family planning counselors who can advise you better than I, seek one out.

Answer 8

Some people who have abortion regrets it for the rest of their life. At 17, you have a lot of life. I believe you need to ask yourself the question: Where does life begins? Birth? Conception?
If you answer is conception, then you answer is not about abortion.
You can keep the baby. If your boyfriend goes in the military, child support will be easy to get, he has a job.
I does not matter how mad is parents are, because he will be legal reasonable for the baby.
You can have the baby, and give it up for adoption. Five years ago my bother and his wife got there daughter that way. They could not have children of their own. They could not love that child.
What ever you decide, good luck.

Answer 9

It seems that your parents are behind you, which is great. You would still have your mom with you. It will be hard to go to school, have a child, and go to work. If the baby gets sick,you would have to take time off of school and work to go to the doctor. It's your decision so don't just do what other people tell you to. Do what you think will be best for you. There are quite a few people out there that have done it without the supportive family. His parents may love the idea of becoming grandparents. You will never know unless you tell them.

Answer 10

Stick to your guns. I had a child when I was 18. It is tough, but that child was worth it! I personally could never have an abortion, but it is a matter of personal choice. You can go on and have a great life. Depending on what college you go to, some have housing available for students with children. Also, look for on campus daycare. Is your mom supportive of your dreams and goals? You can get help from the state for daycare grants and such. Good luck! Don't give up on your dreams. You need your education now more than ever since you have a child on the way. And as far as the father goes, it may have taken him to help create life, but you can raise a wonderful child without him if that is the road he chooses. Email me anytime.