My Husbands best friend just admited to me that he loves me, I like the guy, and my husband and I are having lot's of problems, what the h.e.ll should I do?
2007-01-14 09:15:43 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't do anything. Ask the guy what about you he loves and remind him that your hubby is his best friend, and that you are married. I would want to know what this guy thinks he wants you to do.
2007-01-14 09:21:33 · answer #1 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, what kind of man would do this to his best friend? Is this really someone you think you'd be able to count on or trust? I don't think so. Second, YOU ARE MARRIED. If you love your husband, or are even just committed to keeping the vows you made to him, you do whatever you have to to work things out. If one or both of you isn't willing to make changes or an effort to repair your marriage, then do the adult thing, and end it. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. It's til DEATH do us part, not til one of us doesn't feel the love anymore, or until one of us finds something better, or only when it's easy. Marriage is hard work. It's sad to see so many throwing away what could be a wonderful relationship because they're going through a rough patch. Exception to that, of course, is abuse.
Put yourself in your husband's shoes... can you even imagine finding out that he's cheating on you with your best fried?
I'd tell my husband immediately... he does NOT need a friend like that. Then you can start rebuilding your relationship.
2007-01-14 09:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by ~StepfordWife~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is big trouble. Your husbands friend is shady. All couples have issues but its up to you guys to work it out. Your husbands friend may have something for you but I don't think he loves you. If he was a real friend he would talk to your husband and try help the situation. I think if you take this offer you'll end up regretting everything. The right thing for you to do would be to inform your husband about his "friend's" behavior. Then you guys can get back to fixing your issues. Last but not least, it would be wise to get everything out in the open, this way no one gets hurt.
2007-01-14 09:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by blufiah_tam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two completely seperate issues here. Do not let one affect the decision of the other.
Firstly, you're having issues in your marriage. Do you want to work them out? Do you still love your husband? Do you think these issues can be worked out, and are both of you willing to put the effort into it that is needed? What are those issues, how serious are they?
You CANNOT under any circumstances get involved with your husband's best friend until you tell your husband that is what you are going to do and that you and him are over.
As for his best friend. If you love the man, then dump your husband and go for it. In the eyes of God it is wrong to sleep with another person while you are still married, so you may want to wait if those are your beliefs. But you need to let your hsuband know if you are going for his friend and done with your marriage. You cannot have both.
So make a decision about your marriage first. Then decide if you want to go after this friend.
Again- do not let this friend affect your decision in regards to your marriage. It is a completely different issue. NOT RELATED.
You aren't lillypadding from one man to another. You are making a decision about your marriage- then seperately deciding if you want to get involved with another man.
2007-01-14 09:26:04 · answer #4 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you and your husband's problems irreconcilable? And do you have any children? Lots of things to consider, but if you and your husband are hopeless then you should go for it, just know that you will end their freindship, probably be involved in a fistfight, and might end up on Jerry Springer!! (make shure that your husband's "best friend" doesn't have a hand in the problems you two are having)
2007-01-14 09:23:14 · answer #5 · answered by severedhead15 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOTHING! that's his friend and he's off limits, sounds like u have some love for him too but has this been going on for a while because did he just come out of the blue and tell u this? regardless of the situation problems or not dont hurt your husband even more to mess around with his friend.If it was me I would tell my husband and be honest with him.
2007-01-14 09:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by SingleMommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell the guy to get the hell out because you already have enough problems as it is. Think about the situation dear Heart. The man might see an opportunity to get you in the sack ( sorry for the expression) and you are vulnerable right now, so be careful about such declarations! You can seriously doubt about the sincerity of the man who is making a pass at his best friend's wife!
Something to think about; isn't it ?
2007-01-14 09:30:46 · answer #7 · answered by montralia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, everyone has problems in relationships. Who cares if some other dude likes you. Be faithful to your husband and try to work it out (Unless he abuses you).
And get as far away from your husbands friend as possible, do what ever it takes to get him out of your mind and out of your life. If you're communicating with someone you're lusting over it's just going to make it that much harder for both of you.
Don't make decisions about your relationship with your husband based off of feelings from other guys. You're brain is all clouded with emotions because someone else is paying positive attion to you. Treat your husband the way you would want him to treat you and he'll start doing the same with you. You reap what you sew!
2007-01-14 09:34:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello =)
How's your brain doing these days???
Are you up for some serious thinking??
If you are, then you should consider whether or not your marriage is over, by pretending that you never heard those words from "his best friend".....and think about where things are at with your husband. If the marriage is over (or should be over)...then end it and move on with or without the best friend.
Remember that each of us has the right to be happy, and should do everything possible to achieve that goal, so long as we harm no one else....
Work within that rule, and you will never regret anything.
Namaste,
--Tom
2007-01-14 09:23:51 · answer #9 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if your having issues with your husband, you should really offer counesling or couples therapy and try to fix him
you may be feeling like he is such a good thing and what you want right now because you are not getting what you need in your relationship with him.
having kids is also tricky too, you need to know what is in the best interest for the kids
if trying to work things out with your husband doesnt work, you may need a divorce.
as for your husbands best freind? give it time. if he likes you as much as he says, he'll wait a little.
just try working things out, you may be looking for love in all the wrong places.
dont go to your husbands best freind unless its the last resort.
2007-01-14 09:22:42 · answer #10 · answered by carly m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything stupid, like jumping at the chance to have an affair with this guy. Your marriage will really be in some trouble then. Problems, or not, you are a married woman. Work through your problems. Don't believe what you hear about the grass is always greener on the other side, it is NOT.
2007-01-14 09:19:50 · answer #11 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋