Advice please!!!!!?

Question

I just found out I am pregant and do not know what to do!!!!
I have a wonderful boyfriend I am 31 years old have a stable job etc.....In the past he and I do talk about getting married and ahving children but this is not the way I wanted it. I wanted to get married and then have a family. I have not told him yet I wanted to weigh my options....I am so confused I can not think straight..
Any advice would be helpful.....

Answer 1

I would tell him and let him be part of the desicion making process. His support, or lack there of may play a big role in what you decide to do. Besides, he is the father and has a right to know.

Answer 2

First things first....Calm down. Call your best girlfriend or someone you can trust other than your boyfriend. Tell them so your not alone. By options, I am assuming you mean wheather to keep the pregnancy or not. If you decide to, then tell him. It won't be so bad. If you decide not to, then you are under no obligation to tell him.

I have had an abortion, I also have four children. I can tell you that under any circumstance you will always regret having an abortion. Even though it maybe the best thing. But if you have the baby, I guarantee you will never say "I wish I had an abortion".

Also, If everyone waited until the moment was right. There would be no children in the world, because things will never ever be "just right". If at anytime you feel that life is perfect and its time to have a baby, it is a sign that you are not prepared for mother hood. A more accurate statement would be that you will struggle, and you will make it.

Good luck either way!!

Answer 3

You have a wonderful boyfriend and a stable job. Y'all have already talked about getting married and having kids. If he is truly wonderful, then he should be happy about this.

No offence, but if y'all want to have babies this is a good time to get started. If you wait until you are about 40, there will be a higher chance of the baby having problems. ... And it will be harder on your body. Don't you want to do this while you are young enough to enjoy it? :)

True, it is ideal to get married before having a family. But God has blessed the two of you - He is saying that the timing is right. And He should know better than anyone else when the time is right for you to have the honor of bringing another little person into this world :)

My advice... Think of how wonderful this will be :) Think of how much love you will be able to share with your baby and how you will fall in love the first time you look at that little face. Think of all the cute little clothes you will get to buy and all the bragging rights that will come with the good things he/she does :) You are lucky.

Then, start planning how you are going to break the news to your boyfriend. Plan a special evening and stay positive. He may be a bit shocked, so if he doesn't seem happy right away don't be too hard on the guy.

Congratulations!

p.s. I know that there are other options such as adoption and abortion. But both of them will leave a void in your heart... unless you know that the baby will have a better and safer life with another family.

And hey, you can always still get married before the baby is born. Or, if you choose to do it after the birth of your baby, you can always have the perfect little flower girl or ring barrer (spelling?)

Answer 4

Wow, congrats. Well i certainly think your old enough to have a child both financially and mentally. How long were you willing to wait? You know the older you wait the more complications can arrise. I've been with my b/f for 6 years were not married have a 2 and a half year old son and another on the way due end of May. Your saying you have a wonderful boyfriend stop stressing and tell him. He will show his maturity by the reaction that you get. I unlike alot of others in here believe in abortion for various reasons but in the end it's up to you. I would not bring a child into this world simply because i can and if my relationship was rocky, kids deserve more than that but not only for those reasons alone. Fortunately for me i have the most wonderful, caring, loving b/f i could ask for. You should be celebrating i know i am. All the best. Btw i'm in no hurry to get married. What just because your married your going to bring up your child any differently? I'm 30 btw and i'm glad i waited before i had kids.

Answer 5

congrats!.. concentrate on the reality of what it would mean bringing a life into this world (Although there is already a new life inside you)
but decide what you want! only then, communicate with him.
the re-access where you stand.SO..get a feeling of how he feels, give him some time to process the GREAT news as well ..as he will be in shock for a while!. Make it a healing and loving conversation as well. with little pressure, but do not bring up abortion as an option at all.(any easy out for him). if it is your dream to be married and have a family but he is reluctant, in my opinion he will not be in the picture long.as your BF/husband.(just human nature) ..I don't know in obviously!!!!
so be careful how you say everything. but if you don't want to be with this person until you child is 17 or so.. then you should re-think the consistence of having a child, do you have enough money to raise child by yourself?
is he stable? are you?

I don't know you so it's hard to give advice gaged for the exact person you are. buy my best friends have been planning a family for a long time..finally had a daughter and are having a really hard time of it,, money and their relationship.. it does change everything !! You must both really want it or you should not become parents!
good luck!!!

Answer 6

thats part of growing up and getting older- realizing the best things in life come UNPLANNED =) Don't sweat it! Congrats. I got pregnant at 19 with my first and thought my family was going to disown me! Boy was I wrong! THen i had it all planned out that i wasn't going to ahve any more kids until I was married and had a house etc etc- well guess what- I'm 37 weeks along now- not married to him (yet) and we're living in my grandparents upstairs until our house is finished! I had a hard time getting over that nothing was how i wanted it- but realized that in the long run- things will be better off and I couldn't be happier!

Answer 7

Sometimes our plans never workout. Just like right now you never plan it this way but it happened. Don't stress out yourself now thinking that you don't want it this way. It's not healthy to you and the baby. What you do now is to move forward one step at a time. Talk to your bf. reveal to him your condition and start planning from there. Since you were planning to have baby anyways I don't see any reason why he won't go for it. You are already in a mature age and a stable job to support a family and I have a good feeling your bf. too. If you two can arrange it now, maybe you two can get married before the baby's born, so he/she can still be born inside of a wedlock. Good luck and take good care of that baby, they are a blessings.

Answer 8

Children are blessings regardless of how they get here or when. Sit him down talk to him and the two of you mature adults should be able to come up with an answer that pleases the both of you. And don't worry everything will work out for the best!! Good Luck and Congratulations!!

Answer 9

Since you are 31 and really love your boyfriend and don't think it will scare him away, you should tell him. Actually, you should tell him in either regard, because although it is your body, he should have some type of say in the matter. But if you're not ready, by all means do not have the baby, there are enough children without both parents and it isn't fun raising a child alone.

Answer 10

If you have a stable job with insurance, you don't really need the boyfriend anymore. So go ahead and tell him. If he bails, he bails. But you should be thinking of the baby. Get a sonagram as soon as possible. Things seem to fall into perspective when you see a live living human being in there.

Answer 11

Honey just set him down and talk to him. If you wanted to get married and have a family then have your family and then get married. The funny thing is life has a strange way of working out. I mean I got pregnant at 16 with my first and 26 with my last one. I wanted to finish school, have a career, get married then babies. Well I had a baby dropped out of school got married later. Then got my GED and had another baby, then got divorced. Meanwhile life happens just go with it. Please just tell him I am sure he would be happy and then you all could get married.