Very Consufed! Help!?

Question

I'm 16 and i am really interested in this guy who works in a shop i visit very often. I didn't think much about him untill yesterday and i can't seem to stop thinking about him. I have never spoken to him apart from him serving me at the counter once which wasn't anything special. I have no idea what age he is either, which is something i would like to find out first even though i have no idea how to. Yesterday, i was in the shop looking at some cd's and he was standing right next to me putting some back, i gave him a side glance and saw him smiling, but no idea what that means. I've never been in this situation before and i am aware that there is plenty of time for a boyfriend, i'm very focused on my studies and i know for a fact that no guy would change that for me. I'm not interested in sex, but im interested in love. I was in the mind frame that love would come to me and that i just had to wait for a nice guy to ask me out, but is it wrong for me to make the first move and...

how do i know if i'm doing the right thing?
The reason im so confused about this situation is because i've never had a boyfriend and never thought i would think about asking a guy out myself as im quite old fashioned...but, this is 2007, and what if just going for it isn't so bad? :-)

Answer 1

You sound sensible enough! I say, go for it.
If he says no, then you haven't lost anything but if he says yes then thats a whole other door of possibilities just opened! I ended up asking my guy out. He tried to ask me out but he was shy. I think it's unfair to put so much pressure on the guy to do everything, he'd probably be really impressed that you made the first move.
Only thing I would say is don't out too much pressure on yourself either. If you're putting yourself out there looking to fall in love you're risking a lot.
You don't even know what this guy is like, so just test the water first of all.
Start by talking to him in the shop, asking for help or whatever.
Next stage, if you're still interested, find out if he wants to go for coffee or something casual. Again, keep it low-pressure, you're just finding out if this guy likes you as a friend.
If its meant to be anything more it will develop on its own.
And if it doesn't, well you've had fun getting to know someone new, and got yourself a confidence boost!

Really, I hope it goes well for you:)

Answer 2

Love and guys are very confusing, especially for a 16 year old girl (like I'm so old, it's only been 6 years since I was in that situation myself). Next time you're in the store, just try striking up a conversation with him if he has time. Don't blurt out "Wanna go see a movie?" Just talk about a CD or something. Find out his interests and his age, etc. Do this several times - visit the store every couple of days maybe. If he seems interested or really notices you when you come into the store, then ask him out or maybe he'll ask you.

Sometimes you have to take the initiative with guys - I asked my first boyfriend out originally when I was 16 (turned me down, but we unfortunately got together a few months later...) Then little over a year later, I met my fiance' in the mall and totally hit it off. We exchanged numbers, but I was the first to call. Good luck and hold onto your morals!

Answer 3

If you like him, then, I say, take a chance & ask. You're young & if it doesn't work out or if he says no, it's not going to really matter in the grand scheme of your whole life. It's better if you learn now to take initiative for yourself in life. That's the ONLY way to be sure you will get all the things you want out of life. Don't worry about rejection. Rejection will ALWAYS happen in life, but it's the people who keep asking the hard questions anyway that end up happy and satisfied.

Oh...do make sure you ask his age though. Being 16, you could cause someone very painful legal woes...and that wouldn't be cool. In fact, that could be an easy first step. Ask him any question at first(to break the conversational ice) & then simply ask him how old he is(acting as if you were just curious). He may get the hint and take the next step himself.

Good luck!

Answer 4

The only "right thing" any of us can do is not to use violence.

There is lots and lots of violence in our cerrent world,this even

trickles-down to what we say and to what we think.

Love,amoung other things, is just one of our great barriers;it

makes us better,human and even attractive.

And to recieve this tender and attractive thing,you must give

some; A smile,small kiss or gossip may not work; practise

some kindness and physical helpfulness-remember what ur

family did for you. Virtually without thinking they risked their time

and effort just for You. And happy that you are happy and

successful in ur search.

Answer 5

if your confused then stay away from him , only with certainty you know it's right ,and in this particular situation you are not certain , that means stay away!