Started seeing this guy, not serious yet, barely 1 month. I really like him. He is appreciative of the time I spend with him and is always gentleman. He also calls/texts me everyday. I really admire these things.
We were supposed to get together one day, but that day I had to call him to find out that he had drank too much the night before and that he was not feeling up to it. I was really disappointed. He said he wanted to get together with me in a couple of days, but I couldn't give him a definite answer yet.
If I forget about him, am I being too hard and expecting too much? I know that everyone falls short of perfection and I am not perfect, but part of me feels that if I do not take this seriously enough that I am setting myself up for more disappointment if the relationship becomes more serious. What I mean is, will he be responsible?
On the other hand, I like him so much, but I'm afraid that I'm searching for a reason to excuse him for this. I don't want to settle.
2007-01-14 08:08:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
The fact you had to call him to find out why he never met up with you is an example of him not taking you seriously.
Your time is valuable. It should not be spent waiting on people/friends/lovers who can not keep their appointments with you.
2007-01-14 09:17:16 · answer #1 · answered by murkglider 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I met a guy when I was 18 who liked to drink. At the time we got along pretty good and I drank some too. I dated him because I had low self esteem and he really liked me. In one year we were married and in 3 years we started having kids. We have 4 kids all grown up now. the thing is, he never stopped drinking, in fact he became a full blown alcoholic and beat the kids and me. We were divorced after 15 yrs of marriage. I don't believe in divorce so I held on as long as I could and went through a lot of counselling.
I am not saying your boyfriend will be an alcoholic, but it is possible. I think you should give him a few more chances and really get to see what he is like. If he gets drunk a lot, please dump him.
2007-01-14 16:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by crzygal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 1 month together there really isn't anyway to really know how responsible or irresponsible he is. with out knowing any history Its just as likely that it was a innocent isolated incident as it could be a normal behavior for him. You now have something to watch for, this is how things should work. As no one was really hurt by this but you see potential for trouble in the future, you should keep an eye on him and your guard up. in 90 days you'll have a much clearer picture of who he is, and it will only become clearer as time goes on. this is how relationships grow or fail, as time goes on more behavior is seen and you either learn to deal with it or you discover that you can not and you end the relationship. I would say that you should you should refrain from making a big deal out of this as at this point and wait for his behavior patterns to become more apparent, that way your not settling and not jumping to conclusions. As a side note I would guess that you appear to be sensitive to this type of behavior and may have been hurt by it in the past. Its usually best not to judge someone by another's behavior but keep in mind that generally speaking we are usually attracted to certain personality types that often have the same short falls.
2007-01-14 16:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by nikomat77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found men don't change. That was really rude and selfish of him. Do you want a drunk for a mate in life. I think you should forget him. Any question in ones mind like this is ones conscience and should be taken very serious. The other hand is wrong. Don't settle you'll be sorry. I have tons of experience and finally made my list of what I really wanted and didn't settle and I got it. I am very happy. if you want to get more in touch with conscience go to harekrishnatemple.c Chant the Maha Mantra which brings one to their highest potential and in direct touch with conscience or Super Soul.
2007-01-14 17:17:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your the one that is setting yourself up for failure, you want to comdemn a relationship before it even starts. Why? Because we all human and have imperfections. What are your imperfections... maybe he should dump you for being so nit picky. Nobody wants a nag. Sheesh! Did you even think maybe to go see if he needed some company while he had a hangover? Maybe he was embarrassed over the event. My answer is if you really like him, then try to work on actually being serious before you ask about dumping.
2007-01-14 16:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by Sentimental Treasures Photo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key is good communication. For us guys, you need to state the facts rather than the feelings regarding your perspective. Thus a statement like "I can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't honor his commitments" shows him you've got a backbone and allows him to decide if he'll honor you or not. This is apposed to questions like "Why would you hurt my feelings?" which only tend to confuse us. ;) Whether or not he will be responsible depends on his answer.
2007-01-14 16:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by Trouble 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you. Only you can answer that but if he gets drunk and doesn't get together with you when you and him agreed to then it might not be a good idea to keep dating him. That's my advice.
2007-01-14 16:18:07 · answer #7 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a legit excuse. I think that if you like him and nothing else has changed, I would keep it going. If you feel like he starts to disrespect you.....dump him.
2007-01-14 16:17:18 · answer #8 · answered by CK1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a chance.. he just drank too much.. dont be so hard. u
2007-01-14 16:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by saddam41555 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋