does anyone have any funny frog stories?

Question

any funny story including frogs? lol

Answer 1

Once upon a time in a land far away,A beautiful,independant, self- a s s u r e d princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the banks of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped onto the princess's lap and said: 'Elegant lady,I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast a spell on me. One kiss from you, however,and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am,and then,my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping with my mother in your castle where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and feel forever gratefull doing so.'
That night, as the princess dined sumptuosly on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in white wine and cream sauce, she smiled to herself:'I don't fu.cking think so.'

A lonely frog rings a horoscope/psychic hotline and was told, 'You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you'
The frog said, That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?'
'No.' replied the psychic. 'Next term - in her biology class.'

Once upon a time a princess was walking along a woodland path when she came accross a really ugly fat frog. In fact, It was the most hideous frog she had ever seen.
The princess did not mince her words. 'My, you're ugly!' she said to the frog.
'I know,' said the frog. 'I got a really bad spell put on me by a particularly evil witch.'
'I've never seen anything so repulsive as you'
'OK, there's no need to go on about it. I can't help it.'
'Even so,' said the princess 'If I kiss you ,will you turn into a handsome prince?'
He replied rolling onto his back'I think a spell this bad will probably need a blow. job.'

A guy with a 25 inch dick wanted it made smaller because it was too big for women to cope with. So he went to see a witch who told him to go to the woods where he would find a frog. 'You must ask the frog to marry you,' said the witch. 'And when the frog says "NO", your dick will shrink by 5 inches.
So the guy headed off into the woods. He found the frog sitting at the base of a tree. 'Frog.' he said, will you marry me?'
The frog said 'NO' And sure enough, the guys dick shrank 5 inches. But 20 inches was still too long, so again he asked the frog to marry him.'NO' answered the frog. And the guys dick shrank another 5 inches. The guy was going to leave it at that ,but then he thought that 15 inches was still abit too long and ten would be ideal. So he went to the frog a third time.
'Frog, will you marry me?'
The frog glared at him. 'How many times do I have to tell you?

NO! NO! NO!'

Answer 2

Back when I was a teen, I lived in SC way out in the country. I used to go fishing on weekend trips with my friends. One weekend we set up at the lake, got comfortable and cast our lines. Not long after we start hearing this loud chirping noise, it was a little mud frog sitting between me and one of my friends. He had just crawled out of the mud at our feet. His noise went on for a couple of hours until my friend couldn't take it anymore, so he kicked the mud back over the frog to quiet. A few minutes later the frog dug his way back out and started up again. Well this went on for they entire first day at the campsite. The next day the 2 were at it again, chirping, burying, digging back out and chirping again. My friend always brought a shotgun with us just in case any large wild animals came into the campsite. Half way through the second day, my friend starts screaming and swearing. Goes and gets the gun, comes back to the frog, puts the barrel about an inch away from it, and fires. Mud flies everywhere. I'm covered in it, and my friend is covered from head to toe. He throws the gun down, grabs his pole and sits to fish. About 2 minutes later out of a clump of mud that had landed next to his chair, that little frog dug out and starting chirping again. True story I swear, me and my friends still tell.

Answer 3

this isn't really funny but when my mum & her brother were young they dropped a frog from their bedroom window because they thought frogs were made of rubber and would bounce

Answer 4

Yea, This frenchman goes into a bar-------

Answer 5

no lol

Answer 6

i stuck a firework up ones bum once - that was funny

does that count