My parents are always fighting. I'm afraid they're going to get a divorce. Can I do anything to stop them?

Question

My parents are always at it. I'm 15 and I really don't want my parents to get a divorce. Can I say anything to make them stop arguing for my sake and for my little six year old brother's?

Answer 1

you might be better off

Answer 2

Divorces aren't so bad kid. You get 2 christmases and 2 birthday parties. And the best part is that you and your baby brother won't get ulcers from worrying about your parents fighting all the time. Peace and harmony in a home is ideal and if your parents can't see eye to eye then maybe a divorce is better. You have no idea what they're fighting over or if they've already been through counseling or if someone refuses to go. It's not like when you and your friends get into an argument and all it takes is an I'm sorry and your best buds again. I'm just being real with you. That it's not the end of the world if they get divorced. And if they do it will be because it's in your best interest. No parent feels like a good parent if there kids have to hear them fighting all the time. That's not good for you to hear. Courts would agree with that also. Bottom line, this is out of your hands. And if they do get a divorce it's NOT because you couldn't think of a clever way to get them to stop fighting so don't blame yourself. It has nothing to do with you even though unfortunately it affects you.

Answer 3

What I've learned from being a kid from divorced parents, is that sometimes, divorce is best. My parents fought like cats and dogs, and I was 5-6 years old. I hated it when they divorced, but as I got older, I realized, how my life would've been, growing up in a home that was always hostile. I'm 27, and I'm glad they divorced. Both of my parents are happier, and the funny thing is, is that they're better friends now, than what they were married. Maybe a break between your parents, even if it's just a seperation, might help matters.
Right now, they're probably fighting over the littlest things, because they're getting on each others' nerves. IF they took some breathing room, they will probably realize how selfish and immature they have been behaving.
My question to you, would you want to live in a home where you and your little brother are consistantly watching and hearing the fighting?
It's a difficult matter to consider, but even a slight break in things, can make a world of difference, and help realize where they're priorities should actually be.

Answer 4

I would ask your parents if you could see a therapist. Not only will it help you personally but also it might wake them up a little and show them that their fights are really affecting you. Also most insurance companies cover therapists and there is only a $25 co-pay for all offered therapists. I hate to say this but this is what happened before my parents got divorced. Its really tough and especially if you don't have anyone now to talk to, a therapist might be really great for you. I would talk to each of your parents separately and tell them what your feeling. Also understand that your parents relationship might be more complex than you think. My parents were married four years before they had me and were separated by the time i was born yet still living with each other as if they weren't which is something i didn't know until about a year ago. Sorry I know its tough but you have to take it one day at a time.

Answer 5

Honey grown ups do it all the time and I know it hurts but no there is not much you can do if they stay together when they don't love each other anymore it will be worse then it is now! You remember that you haven't done a thing to make this come about and I am very sorry that this is happening to you. I wish that there was something that would help ease your fears but I am not going to lie to you. They may get a divorce but You need to stay strong and stay calm and I know that sounds weird comeing from someone you don't know, but Honey my daddy died when I was 9 years old I am 18 now and I have blamed myself this whole time. but you don't have to just remember this is not your fault so don't take the blame or anything honey.I'll keep you and your family in my prayers and I hope everything works out!
Kimimila
The Wild Texas Cowgirl

Answer 6

My parents were always fighting. They never got to the point of physical hurting each other but they did have their little mind games they would play on one another.
I have a younger brother who is 14 years younger then myself.
Try to get some advice from a good counselor at school or better yet from your church if you have a church you go to.
Your parents are not doing you or your brother any good by this constant bickering. It does them much harm to as their relationship should be based on mutual respect. To put it simply these people need help as they probably can't help themselves at this point. Yes, you will have to be the big sister and grow up faster then you should have to. you will have to be the grown up in your household and get some outside advice before your parents let their fighting destroy your family. Prayer will help and reading good books that are in the library about family relationships will also give you some support. If the fighting gets too out of hand don't be afraid to speak up once but don't lose your control. Maybe you could write both of them a letter expressing your concerns. May God be with you.

Answer 7

Unfortunately Heather, there probably isn't anything you can say to them to keep them from divorcing if this is what they want. However, you can talk to them, once everyone has calmed down and tell them how they are making you feel. Maybe you could ask them to not fight around you and your brother.

I'm sure they both love you two very much and do want the best for you. Their fighting has nothing to do with you. Sometimes adults have a hard time getting along.

Everything will work out one way or another. You and your brother will be fine. You hang in there and be good to your little brother:)

Answer 8

I was 12 when my parents divorced. However, they always sent me away when they would argue. I never heard any of it. In your case though and if I were you, I would tell them how I feel about the arguing and to take it elsewhere. Especially for the little ones sake. He's not old enough to understand why they fight but it's hurting him badly. And it's hurting you. Divorce is never good on the kids, my dad got mad at me because I didn't like his new wife and that I wanted to live with my mom. I haven't spoke to him in almost 10 years, and not by choice.

If the divorce happens, just PLEASE understand that it is NOT your fault in any way shape or form and somehow, make sure your little brother knows that too.

Now, I'm not saying that you will have happen to you, what happen to me, I'm just letting you know that I know what you are going through.

Answer 9

Have you ever asked them what's going on? Tell them how you feel. They may be so involved in their own problems that they may not realize what they're doing to you two. No one wants their parents to get divorced, but don't you want them happy? You can't help how you feel, and neither can they. If they're unhappy, maybe it's best if they go their own ways. If that happens, tell them not to put you in the middle. Than means no complaining about the other person, no cheap shots, and never let them tell you the problems they had with each other. It's their problem, not yours. Good luck.

Answer 10

I'm sorry, but when married couples fight, there is nothing left between them for any consideration. There are no more the feelings of respect, admiration and love. What makes them go at each other all of the time over rides all other considerations such as you and your brother.

Cheer up! If it eventually comes to a breakup as it seems, you and your brother shall not be the first or the last victims of a broken home. Life goes on. You will survive and overcome all the heartaches.

In the meantime, face your studies squarely. Encourage your brother and remain focused on your goals in life. Whether you like it or not, the time is coming when you will have to manage life on your own. The time may come sooner than expected. Remember, it is very important that you keep a cool head all of the time. Above all, pray. May the LORD GOD be with you and guide you. Amen.

Answer 11

Some people only know how to communicate via fighting. It may be just their way of talking. However it still makes it upsetting for those of us that have to listen to it. Go to what ever parent you are closer to and say "I really don't want to hear all of your bickering with mom/dad could you please do this in private? Can you understand how this does not make a for a good home life for me?" If they don't stop then I would either move in with my grandparents/aunt or leave the house when ever they start up. It is time to tell them this is upsetting to you and affecting your quality of life. If they do get a divorce remember that they are the one that are divorcing each other.. and make sure you keep equally close with both parents, after all they are not divorcing you.