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he is the most wonderful person ever... i want to marry him. we have had a few problems but nothing will keep us apart. even the most tough of situations, we communicate so well about... what do i do to get him to marry me... we discuss it and have decided we are working on it... but what could i do to speed up the process... Thanks so much

2007-01-14 05:59:49 · 21 answers · asked by I_caught_fire 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

21 answers

YOU CAN'T
you can't hurry love, you just have to wait

2007-01-14 06:04:21 · answer #1 · answered by iroc 7 · 0 0

First off how old are the two of you? If your under the age of 20 honey- don't be in such a rush, marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be! It is alot of work and there is so much emotional turmoil that you go through it can get exhausting, just be happy he is your's and take it one day at a time, if you keep pressuring him he may run the other way! How long have you been together anyway?If it's only like 6 months or 1 year you still have alot to learn about each other- try living together first and see how that goes and then discuss marriage, once you've lived with someone YOU WILL REALLY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE ALL ABOUT, and it may not be all that good! Seriously!

2007-01-14 14:07:54 · answer #2 · answered by buffster06 5 · 0 0

Don't. If you aren't 100% ready, there's no reason to jump ahead. Why is it that you're ready and he isn't? What goals and timelines do you each have for yourselves? If your goal is to be married next year and have kids in two, but his goal is to buy a house before he's married and he's only saved $50 towards that goal, your timelines both may need adjusting. The key is open and honest communication, if you have to play games or manipulate each other to get somewhere, it will never work. Remember the goal is not to just be married. The goal is to develop a loving a happy relationship to get through the rest of your life. In the meanwhile, working on yourself so you are a complete and well-rounded person in your own right never hurts. Good luck!

2007-01-14 14:11:18 · answer #3 · answered by jesica k 2 · 0 0

How old are you? How old is he? How long have you known each other? Do each of you have an education, and have finished college? Do each of you have good jobs? Have each of you discussed whether or not you ever wish children? Are you both of the same political mind set , religious and race?

If you are not educated, don't have a salable skill, think that marriage is a lifetime meal ticket, and children are wonderful, you are tooooo young.

My mom told me:
1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry
2. Don't have children until your marriage is solid, and secure. children are divisive, not bonding, and you have no idea what 2 am feedings are like, colic, screaming kid, vomit in the bed, ungrateful teens with drug problems, and the cost to raise one is 20 years of your life, and $250,000 each.
3. Always have a skill that you can use to support yourself, and your children. You will have to work most of the years of your life -- get paid for it.
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about but you, even if you know you will never have to use it.

Helpful?

2007-01-14 14:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0 0

I don't think this is the type of situation you want to rush. Marriage is something that both of the people in the relaitonship need to be ready for. Lifetime commitment is something that will take a great deal to adapt and trying to speed up the process may cause the process to regress and seem less appealing, especially to him. It will happen when the time is right. Don't worry, once you're married it will all be worth it and you'll have the rest of your life to do so! :)

2007-01-14 14:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by staindfreak814 1 · 0 0

you don't say how old you both are, this would determine how I see things, but...

I have always had a problem with this whole
"guy has to be the one to ask the girl" proposal thing. I mean, this is one of the biggest events with the longest effects that one will experience in their life (or, at least it is suppose to be) and we live in the dark ages!!

If 2 people feel that they have what it takes to be lifetime partners, then both should have the right to ask or bring it up and discuss it.

Just ask him if he feels marriage in your future for the 2 of you.

2007-01-14 14:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by katalah 3 · 0 0

I am a very up-front person. If you are also propose to him! This will answer any and all questions of how serious he is about you - obviously you are ready to commit the rest of your life- it is important to know that you're not wasting your time waiting for someone who won't ever be where you are
( and hun, EVERYONE has problems . . no such thing as a perfect relationship. . if you think it's perfect for more than a week - he's probably cheating or something )

2007-01-14 14:06:21 · answer #7 · answered by az_showers 2 · 0 0

Hurrying him into marriage before he's ready will make him resent you. That's great that you have made it through difficult times and that you communicate so well. You've taken the first step by talking about getting married and now you just need to make it clear that you're ready whenever he's ready and you're really excited about spending your lives together. Good luck!

2007-01-14 14:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Reverie 3 · 0 0

mention it but dont push him too much or he may take off if he isnt ready. How does he feel about spending the rest of your lives together and how long have you been together are questions. Hang in there and keep loving him and appreciating him, but be careful that you arent smothering or obsessing over marriage. Keep a good balance and in due time, it will happen. I wish you the best!

2007-01-14 14:08:08 · answer #9 · answered by navigate33 3 · 0 0

That is exactly what i would do!

Start talking about it. Remember, he might not knows what's all involved (most men don't), so give him a heads-up in that first convo about what all is entailed. Then wait for him to give ideas about it.

If he agrees but doesn't seem too ambitious to get the ball rolling...you might need to slow down again.

2007-01-14 14:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by Aja C 2 · 0 0

i had the same problem. me and my husband dated for almost 6 years before we got married. i press it on him alot and he said he wanted to but the change the subject. but later on i found out that it wasn't the engagement part that was holding him back but the money for the ring he wanted to get me. i guess he felt everything had to be prefect when he asked me not some spur of the moment kind of thing. good luck and just be patient when he gets everything done right like he wants it he'll ask!!!!!!

2007-01-14 14:13:37 · answer #11 · answered by luckie9906 1 · 0 0

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