I finally confronted my husband about his phone sex addiction last April. He said he would stop. As far as I could tell he did until October/November. He had a few slip ups but overall it looks like he is try from what I can tell. He says he feels like an alcoholic. We have been married for over 13 years/together about 15 and have 3 children together(9,5, and 1 yr). I just wonder if anyone else out there feels hurt like I do. I use to think he was a "just a guy" and it "was a guy thing". but it 15 years later and he's still up to it. I confronted him and he said he would stop. I know he is trying but its hard not to forget. I just wonder if he ever met anyone thru the phone sex chat lines or had any ongoing phone relations. I finally just had enough last April and told him to knock it off. We have a family and I want his attention. I called the lines to see what was so interesting and it just made me sick to think I just brushed it off for so long. I am still so upset.
2007-01-14 05:58:28 · 39 answers · asked by scrapqueen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, if you feel it is cheating, then it is cheating because it is affecting you in a very negative way.
2007-01-14 06:01:49 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is cheating, and no it's not just a "guy thing".
It's perverted and there is help for sex addicts. It is a disease of the mind just like alchoholism. Maybe that is why he is having difficulty stopping. It may be embarrassing, but he should talk to someone about his addiction.
Anything that takes his mind away from you when it is in a sexual manner is cheating. His heart and mind should be pure from thoughts of other women.
Physical contact or not, it is cheating. Good luck. I hope you two can work thru this because it sounds like you have a beautiful family. It is worth getting help, especially since you have made it this far!!! 15 years, congrats!
2007-01-14 06:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by FrazzledMom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he knows it bothers you then yes it is cheating. Now he promised he would stop and should because he promised, and you will possibly always wonder but if you didn't find out you would not be wondering so its water under the brideg. My question is that he is doing it for some reason, you are asking for his attention to family and you BUT are you sure he is getting the kind of attention he needs or wants and why or why not. What if he would call you for phone sex? You can pretend to be someone else.
2007-01-14 06:05:39 · answer #3 · answered by JoeP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that. really you have it better than some women who's husband's cheat with a 3D woman. but in your case, it still doesn't feel good and it is degrading and upsetting. he certainly has an addiction and it drives his imagination wild not really knowing what these women really look like. your mind is a theatrical blackbox so his imagination is what keeps him going along with the hormones. try counseling, sounds like he's trying to quit. plus, go over the bill, how much he's spending etc. show him there are more cons than there will ever be pros in this situation.
2007-01-14 06:04:48 · answer #4 · answered by Skypride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 1st wife used to heat up telephone lines pretending there was nothing wrong with that. I wound up with huge telephone bills, and a cheating wife. Telephone can be as addictive and dangerous as narcotics to some mindless persons, and you'd better be on the watch out.
Good luck though.
2007-01-14 06:15:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is cheating in a way. He is cheating you out of the time and attention you deserve as his wife not to mention the sexual implications. He also has a family to think about. If he loves you he will work on this, maybe work on it together. It will bring you closer if you do.
2007-01-14 06:06:23 · answer #6 · answered by Tori M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. It's like the same argument "is looking at pornography cheating". Even if it's not a physical affair, it can still hurt. Maybe even more. I don't think he realizes he's causing you so much pain. I hope this can get better.
2007-01-14 06:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's cheating and it sounds like he's addicted. You've put up with this for 15 years and you really deserve better.
2007-01-14 06:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
would consider it cheating. i wonder if he may be a sex addict.
why if you are happily married would he have to have phone sex?
I think some serious marriage counselling is in order. I would discuss this with him again and tell him it has to stop.
Get help now. I am sure you both will be going to counselling.
2007-01-14 06:04:09 · answer #9 · answered by minion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's only doing the phone sex to meet someone. Start recording it. Ask at an electronics store how to set it up.
2007-01-14 06:03:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cheating, and probably only the beginning. I'm surprised you were able to sit back and watch it happen for this many years. Does you sex life with him still exist?
2007-01-14 06:09:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋