Marrige Problems?

Question

I am 20 years old and i have been married for almost a year and a half, not very long i know we dated 3 years pr but my husband and I rarely ever get alot any more, well we do sometimes BUT then theres these times for a week or so where the only time we get along is whenever we are in bed...I DO NOT believe in divorce but I dont want to be with the person he has become anymore, he call me every name in the book and makes me feel like crap we get in huge blow out fights, and whenever we do we say anything we can to hurt eachother, I dont want to be like this anymore but nothing is working, we are in a fight right now bc theres 5 inches of ice on the rodes and i didnt want to go anywhere so he just left me here... tv's out and everything...everytime we get into a fight he always tells everyone and tell them everthing i say and do , I dont tell anyone except my best friend and its in confidential but he tell everyone i am sick at my stomach about it and i just dont know anymore...advice

Answer 1

I've been married for a bout the same amount of time. My husband did all of that before we got married. He cheated on me, hit me, and treated me like ****. We got in such a bad fight one night that he literally dragged me across the house and kicked me out... i lost the baby I'd been carrying for 3 months. I was done with him and we weren't even married yet. Needless to say... i did the same thing to him that he did to me. I made him hurt back. Eventually he saw how horrible he was and he changed. We haven't really fought once since then. And now we're married with a little girl.
It sounds like you need to do the same things to him that he does to you. Make him see exactly how hurt you are. If that doesn't work then it may be that you two just won't work anymore.

He could be arguing with you about stupid things to hide a bigger thing. A guilty conscience always makes people more defensive.

Answer 2

Here's the thing. You have stepped up to the plate and her parents have not. Your son and his future wife are not stupid. In the excitement of planning the wedding, it may seem that they are neglecting to honor your gift but time will be the ultimate teacher. Perhaps the girl is embarrassed by the selfishness of her parents and so is acting like things are normal. Whatever the reasons, you must take the high road and let the world unfold as it should. Your son must surely appreciate you and, if he didn't think you would be a generous parent, he never would have approached you. I am imaging their conversation after her parents refused to pay. your son," Hey, sweetie. Not to worry. My parents would give me the world if I asked. My dad is the most loving, generous guy in the world and he will never let us down." And you proved him right. Just sit back, let the boors show their bad manners and tacky behavior. Your wife is behaving with good manners and you have shown your good heart. Children, no matter how old, observe and remember what their parents do - especially if there are no strings attached. My "ex" is a cheapskate. My husband and I have worked hard and have been very generous with our sons - including paying for weddings when he said "no way", buying them furniture, trips - and we've always asked the boys not to tell anyone that they were gifts, that it was "our little secret" so no other parents had hurt feelings/pride. It is the GIVING that feels good, dad, so sit back and let your heart be all warm and fuzzy knowing what you've done. At the reception, if people rave about what a fabulous wedding the brides' parents threw, you can know that they will be squirming with embarrassment .

Answer 3

I'm not a big believer of divorce either, however, there is no way I would sit around and let any man verbally or physically abuse me. You are WAY too young to be married in the first place, and these problems are not just going to disappear. If you won't consider divorce, you both need to attend couples counseling. If that doesn't solve the issues, sorry, but divorce is imminent.

Answer 4

You should try some marriage counseling. Marriage is no picnic even without the fighting but this seems like a nightmare and you should work with a professional to solve your problems before they get too big to overcome. Wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

I got married at 21. I'm 23 now, I had your problems, I would yell at my wife, she would yell back, but one thing I never did was tell anyone our problems. If he is telling the world he's a real goof. You guys just need to slowly work things out. My wife and I still have problems, and still yell at each other from time to time, and I don't think it will ever end, but whatever, that's life, I love the crazy chick.

Answer 6

I know the feelings you are feeling right now.
It seems like you can't bear it or just wish you never got married. Trust me when i say this, Prayer changes things! God is able to hold you, in his loving arms and protect you. Ask Him to restore and repair your marriage. Start attending a firm biblically based church, and get grounded in the Word. Pray for God to use you, as a vessel to lead him. Try to obtain a copy of The Power of a Praying Wife. If you need assistance, with resources, prayer,or anything please don't hesistate to email me. my email is: [e-mail]!
I will continue to pray for you and your marriage!!
God Bless You!

Answer 7

your husband is about your age too???? so 2 immature people trying to grow up and hold a marriage together at the same time. ????
when one person yells and screams and calls another person every name in the book and some that are not even in a book is a miserable person who is really calling themselves these things cause he feels inadequate himself.
time for a time out and some help through another person.
if the roads are bad he should have been a mature adult and not gone out and waited for another day when the roads would be safer. he needs to grow up.

Answer 8

if you are unhappy get out. I know it's easier said then done but sometimes it takes one step of courage to make yourself happy. Have a talk with your husband about how you are feeling...see if anything can change...dont hold your emotions inside..it doesnt help.

Answer 9

Life is too short to be unhappy.

Maybe you don't beleive in divorce, but it is much better than staying in Hell for the rest of your life.

Get a divorce, you are young, you can easily start over and get a new life.

Answer 10

If it has turned into verbal abuse then you need to move on.It may turn into phsical if its as bad as you say. BUT.. you are telling everone on the internet what you say he tells "everyone" You sound so unhappy that I think you should consider moving on.