To marry or not to marry? Military Wife for life?

Question

I am engaged with a Navy Sailor, who would be transferring to the next duty station pretty soon. I would want to get married to him and go with him whever he will be stationed at. However, I am in a middle of education, only a half way done with a bachelor's degree. I also have a lot of things and jobs I want to try. Will being a military wife limit my future career? I would love to have advices from the experienced ladies!! I am getting very stressed because of this uncertainty and frustration between love and reality.
Help!

Answer 1

I have a friend who is married to a military man. She does find the moving very hard sometimes. Being a military wife will not necessarily limit your future career, but you need to be very flexible. I would suggest that you finish your education first though before getting married.

Answer 2

I am a military wife, but I'm also a soldier. Both my husband and I are in the Army. Bottom line, life is tough. "Military Spouse - The hardest job in the world." Your husband and you need to sit down, talk, and see where you both stand what you both expect from each other and your future. Education is very important, but you can get it anywhere you go - the military will even sometimes help you pay for it. The most important question is if you're willing to move around every few years and will you be able to handle being alone for months on end. My husband is worth it, and that's why I married him. We're happy and we know that we can make it work. We were in Iraq for a year at the same time but only saw each other few times. The marriage still works and it will work as long as there's open communication and trust between us. It can work for you too - if you're willing ot make a few sacrafices. Make sure he's someone you're willing to wait for. If you have any other questions i'll be more than happy to answer them for you. E-mail me at [e-mail]. (My best friend is married to a Sailor, i know a little of both worlds). Hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

This is a question that you will have to sit and really do some thinking on. Let him know of your thoughts and plans. You can all ways finish your degree and then look for jobs where he will be stationed at so when you do move you will have jobs waiting on you when you get there. You have to think about how long he will be there before they move him again, you have to realize that you will be moving from job to job when he moves, all the long days and nights you will be home while he is away not knowing when he will be coming back a lot of different things you will have to consider. Your love and heart will only tell you what it is that you should do. What you wanna do is your descision that you will have to decide on. Follow your heart and your dreams. GOD BLESS!

Answer 4

The first thing I would do is have a serious talk with your Fiancee
Tell him all your feelings that you have put here. Think this over carefully. Remember , sailors are gone for up to 6months at
least twice a year and even more sometimes. If he truly loves you, he will wait for you to get Bachelors degree. You can accomplish that degree while being stationed elsewhere too.

Answer 5

I'm not a military wife, but here is my advice:

If you truly love him, you will get married and move wherever he stations. You can continue your education through an online class. You will experience the world instead of your own back yard. You can look things in a positive way or you can dwell on the negative. Search your heart, you know the answer.

Answer 6

Finish your schooling first. Moving around every couple of years and waiting fo him to come home, hopefully from extended tours overseas isn't the life for everyone. It sure wasn't the life for my sister-in-law, who left my brother after 2 very long years while he was stationed in Korea. Does your intended want to make the navy a career? try and convince him that if you're going to have a life together with a family then he needs to be home. If the navy is his true love, then move on.

Answer 7

You don't have to go to every duty station with him. You can stay where you're at and finish your education first. Actually, I'd recommend it finishing your education before you get married.

If you're going to school fulltime, you only have two years to finish your bachelors. If it's true love, it'll just get stronger with time.

The military is not a well-paying field, even officers don't make that much. You need to be able to support yourself, and contribute to your family, and it never hurts anyone to have a degree and a career.

You're young, and you can wait until you get your degree to marry him. If you HAVE to get married, then send him off to his next duty station and you stay and finish your education.

Good luck!!

Answer 8

Better if you continue your Bachelor degree, hope it will useful in your future life with or without him. Sometimes to be military officer it doesn't mean he will have enough salary to arrange his family life, so it's better if you can help with your work based on your Bachelor degree. He should be proud and lucky to have wife like you.

But i remind you, family is more important than carrier. So you just work to support your family. I hope you will not regret because you wrong to choose between family and carrier.

OK, good luck.

Answer 9

well, i'm not a wife in the military, but i'm a teen in the military. my mom has told us time and time again that being in the military is tough, but she's tougher. we have moved every three years since i was a baby, but hey, i've been all over the states and i've been all over europe and japan. a lot of people may not like it, but it's all i've known, and it's brought a lot of good experiences. it has taught me a lot, and the military has a lot of programs for military kids and spouses, too. my mom right now is retaking some college classes over the internet. sometimes life has been hard, but it brought us closer as a family.

Answer 10

You know the answer to this one already.... and it requires no experience.... being shipped all over everywhere will limit your career opportunities... as my mom always said, "when in doubt, don't........................" If you wish someday to build a solid career with a company, you will be choosing between your career and your husband, because companies are unwilling to put time, effort and training into someone, no matter how good they are, if it is likely they will be transferred with a spouse often.