my son got engaged on xmas day and still hasnt told me, I only found out by accident.?

Question

We have sopke since then and he and his fiancee have not mentioned it. though they have posted it on my space. I am hurt,what do u think

Answer 1

Sorry your feelings got hurt, this is a special time for them. Do you think you would have been biased and let them have their moment to shine or do you think you would have been full of unwanted advice?
These are the questions you must be honest with yourself about, I see nothing wrong with mentioning it to your son, only if you can maintain yourself. God Bless and remember this is their time, not yours.

Answer 2

I think alot of it depends if you have met and like his new fiancee. I was engaged last valentine's day and did not tell my family untill July, based on the fact that my parents had never met my fiancee. They too found out on myspace, they were hurt,but eventually understood. They brought a bottle of champagne to the hotel we were staying at as a way to break the ice that they knew and things have been fine since.

Answer 3

Perhaps they are trying to avoid any uncomfortable scenes by just simply getting the word out by using myspace. Are you a friend on one or both of their pages? It could be that they were telling the world that way. Also, maybe she hasn't told her parents and they are waiting. There are alot of reasons why he may not have told you yet. It has been over a month, if they were engaged on Christmas Day. If you are supportive of their getting married, you should tell him you understand that Congratulations are in Order (MySpace profiles are generally public anyway, this makes information contained in them - Fair Game). Once, he admits to you, you could tell him that you would have liked to have heard it from him first hand and that it did hurt your feelings finding out "that" way. I am sure that he will offer you a logical explaination. There is also the posibility (though, I would hate to think that way) that this is a scam (if on her page) to grab his attention or to get other people to leave her alone. Just talk to him, that will resolve any questions.

Answer 4

My lover and I decided to get engaged last winter/spring and didn't tell our parents about it until June or July! I don't know why. We just didn't want to deal with the eeing and the ahhing and the excitment of the relatives until then. It's good we're getting married, but it brings a lot of attention on us and since we're not getting married until next year, we put off telling the parents. I didn't post it on myspace though just incase they found out by accident. Maybe they don't realise you visit or know about the page? Telling friends is different from telling parents especailly if it's internet friends. Haha. They'll tell you when they are ready given your relationship is good enough.

Answer 5

So sorry about this dear - but just let him tell you about it in his own time. I too would feel very hurt - but I have found to my cost not to expect anything from one's children - however much you do for them when they are small. I am sure he loves you - but perhaps he is a little afraid of what you might say. However, just be happy for him - after all, you can't chose his partner for him. What about the ring - couldn't you just have a look at it - and then tell them both how delighted you are.

Answer 6

Maybe he's been putting off telling you for some reason and can't find the right time.

Unless someone might get into trouble, maybe you should bring it up....? Say, ' A little bird told me....'

or

If you like his partner, why not phone him and tell him how wonderful you think she is etc... He might open up.

Answer 7

He may be a little afraid to tell you. It has nothing to do with you personally he is just probably scared. So ask him if he has any such plans and let him know you will be there for him.

Answer 8

It was rude of him not to tell you. Both sets of parents should be told before anyone else out of courtesy. Try not to blame his fiancee though - it was his place to tell you, not hers.

Answer 9

prob he only asked her cos he wanted to shut her up or something. if he was serious then you would have been the first person he would have told. dont panic. lots of people get engaged and never marry

Answer 10

he hasnt told you for several reasons.He felt you wouldnt be happy or approve....Or it isnt true and people put stuff on my space all the time..I am wondering why you looked on his page anyway?I Wait a little and see and if he doesnt bring it up ask him?watch your answer though.Kids do things we dont like or approve of but your response is obiously very important to him...