Please help me the college application short response......Thank you?

Question

Could anyone can help me to revise this paragraph? The due date is tomorrow...
Your help will be very meaningful for me.
In the space provided below, please describe which of these activities has had the most meaning for you, and why.
I was elected as the president of the class of 2007 in high school. My job was to supervise students as they participated in school and community activities and to coordinate teachers that give students academic helps. I organized the 2005 New Year’s Overnight Carnival and assisted members of my class to participate in the 2005 High School Art Festival, the 2005 High School Sports Meeting, the 2005 High School Debate Contest, and the 2005 High School Fashion Show. I also established a strong friendship between students in my high school and the Children in Laurel Orphanage. Moreover, I have successfully coordinated with teachers to develop a Night Classes program which had given extra help for many students who were struggling in their schoolwork.

Answer 1

In 2007 I had the distinct honor and privilege to be elected president of my class. As president I had the responsibility to lead and direct my fellow students in participating in various community and extracurricular activities, while acting as a liaison between students, the faculty, and administration. In 2005, I helped to develop a debate contest and fashion show and helped foster a relationship between students from our school and the children in Laurel Orphanage. One of my most memorable achievements was in working with faculty members in developing a night classes program designed to provide additional contact time and tutoring for struggling students. I would have to say that this is the project that was most meaningful to me because through communication and cooperation between students and faculty, we were able to help many other students achieve academic success and have a chance for a better tomorrow.

Answer 2

After you choose one the activities to discuss, then you need to focus on why this activity had a special meaning for you. Think of an anecdote to illustrate how the activity was meaningful. This makes the reader(s) of the file see you in a personal light. For example, if you wanted to speak about a child at the Orphanage and a bond established by one of the students or you. You could speak directly of the incident and why it increased your awareness of some social, interpersonal or academic issue. If you chose to speak about the Night Classes, again personalize the paragraph with an anecdotal incident. You might focus on seeing the teachers in a different light during this volunteer effort. You might focus on the success of a student who was having a specific difficulty, and how impressed you were about how the issue was resolved. Be sure to indicate what you gained from the experience. You seem to be very involved in your school community, and you're an obvious assest to your school. Good luck, the college you go to will be getting an excellent student and person!

Answer 3

It's great that you were able to do all of those activities, but you never say why it was the most meaningful for you. Expand upon the friendships in your high school and the orphanage, or how you helped students get the academic help they needed.

Answer 4

This is January 2007. Were you just elected President?

Answer 5

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