This is not a man or woman question bashing the other sex. I was left for the other woman but she has has not lived up to her expectations. It is not greener as my ex spouse has found out. Now he is miserable and I have lost my soulmate.
2007-01-14 02:19:06 · 25 answers · asked by lelia tequila 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
because the lust kind of love that we feel for people when we first get to know someone, and the excitement of a new thing, wears off as a relationship grows older and turns into more of a friendship love. some people appreciate this, some are won over by the excitement of someone new..
but eventually the novelty of a new relationship will die off and they will be left often with someone who they cannot connect with on a deeper level so well, and so they'll want to get back with the original (or find someone else depending.. either way, it becomes a novelty again) and the cycle goes on!
its those who realise what theyve got before they throw it away on what turns out to be a short term thrill that end up happy :)
2007-01-14 02:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was also left for the "greener grass" after a while he figured out she was complaining about the same things I was complaining about. They are now in the middle of a divorce, and he is dating a new girl. I have found a new soul mate, and discovered that the grass is greener for me.
In other words, I thank god every day for the way it turned out, I am much happier now, and I would never have known how much better it could be. I know it hurts now. i suggest you don't fall into the trap of -maybe we could work it out- You will always wonder if he is looking at the other side again, and he most likely will be. Enjoy his misery, and you will find happiness again.
2007-01-14 02:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by Julie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because that is the type of creature we are. We are poisened by thinking others are happy when they really aren't. We all are guilty of it, being sad because of wanting others false happiness. We look at people and think they are happy and want that but the truth is they aren't really as happy as we think. The grass is not greener on the other side but you cannot realize that until you jump the fence. I also have thought the grass was greener on the other side but have learned after many mistakes that it really really isn't and your spouse will not realize that until he has learned from his mistake or realizes it is not greener on the other side but would have to jump the fence to realize. He learned from his mistake though and if you still love him it is okay to take him back. I know you are hurt to but he may never do anything like this every again and realize how his love for you is so strong never think it is greener somewhere else again. It is okay to get your soulmate back.
2007-01-14 02:25:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The opposite side of the fence is always more appealing than our reality. The other woman appeared to be more appealing, there was mystery, intrigue, newness, excitement, he was being *naughty* and it was exciting. Then he decides to give up what he has at home, to pursue all of this and more, and when the relationship evolves with the new and exciting woman, he gets to know her better, learns things about her that aren't quite so exciting, and the next thing you know...he's unhappy, because she isn't quite the same person she was when he was nailing her on the side. As much as I hate using cliche's, the grass is definitely always greener on the other side. Then when you start grazing in to that new and beautiful grass, you start running in to brown patches, and the lushness starts to die off, and then you're right back where you were ... on the not-so-green side. Funny how life works, isn't it? I think it's called "giving in to temptation."
2007-01-14 02:28:30 · answer #4 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In our culture and society today we crave constant adreneline and excitement in a relationship and we equate this passion with love. However, love changes throughout time naturally. Most people don't realize or don't want to admit that love evolves and that the initial passion and spark may not be as strong at all points in the relationship, so as soon as things calm down and go more into a comfortable zone (which is natural) some begin to crave that "spark" again and go out looking for it. It is because we are impetuous and always looking for something more exciting--look at the movies we watch! And romance comedies don't help either. They always portray love as being this all-consuming passionate feeling, but as I already said, it doesn't always necessarily stay that way. It always has to level out at a certain point and then becomes something else entirely.
So, my question for you is, you say he is miserable and regretting his actions and you have lost your soul mate. Are you going to do anything about this? He cheated on you, but maybe you guys could get some counseling and try to work it out-very very slowly?
2007-01-14 03:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by simcrazee21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you didn't live up to your spouse's expectations... usually those who think that the grass is greener on the other side don't realize that the creation of green grass involves a lot of manure....
2007-01-14 02:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
people dont think with there head they only see what they want to see intell its to late i know after 13years of married and three kids my ex wife went back to her ex boy friend because she not happy now i got the kids and gruss who left in the cold good luck after 4 years i found a new soulmate and i will be get marry soon take care
2007-01-14 02:37:12 · answer #7 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they're selfish and inconsiderate of there mate. Now that he has done so let him swim in it for a while do not rescue or let him back into your life unless you are clear he has changed (at least a year). Soul mate my A_s, you need to toughen up woman, if he was your soul mate he wouldn't have taken the other route. He would be at home holding you, am I pissing you off or are you getting passive on me? Like I said at least a year and do not cave!
2007-01-14 03:36:42 · answer #8 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Got me. Happened to me twice, don't understand. And as we all know it usually isn't greener. Hang in there, he really wasn't a soulmate if he did that. Hugs....
2007-01-14 02:23:05 · answer #9 · answered by Dusty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am on the same boat you are. I have just been left as well.. I don't know why our spouces think these things and it make you feel horrible an at fault.
I've been in tears for days now. I feel your pain and I am sorry this has happened to you.
2007-01-14 02:22:23 · answer #10 · answered by digitaldancer22 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋