I asked my husband what he thought about us working things versus us getting a divorce. He said that he wants our situation to resolve itself. I told him that was absurd and then he said he wants us to down whatever road we are meant to. How can he be so vague about our life..our marriage?
2007-01-14 02:16:29 · 19 answers · asked by blue eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Situations don't resolve themselves on their own. Either he's too lazy to put any work into making your relationship work, or he's happy for your relationship to end but doesn't want to be responsible for ending it. In the absence of communication or action from him you need to make your own decisions about what's best for you. Good luck.
2007-01-14 02:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there's more going on there. At least that is my opinion not knowing you or your husband. There are lots of questions in my mind right now. You have discussed divorce? what were the reasons that you both want a divorce? Is there perhaps something going on in his work place with some one else? You are right ! how can some one be so vague about a marriage, unless they secretly want out ....but don't want to be the bad guy??
2007-01-14 10:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably needs to read some of the q&a's on this website for one. The situation will not resolve itself without talking it out and working together. My marriage ended last year after 14 years for the other women who promised to be the answer to his prayers. She was not and he has been very unhappy. The grass is not always greener. The only good thing is the sorrow and unhappiness of this past year has brought me to the Lord. So in a sense for some he is right. I would not be where I am in my faith if not for my breakup. Also be yourself dont play games he will realize what me may loose.
2007-01-14 10:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by lelia tequila 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how long you have been married. It sounds like the "road" you are going down is a dead end. This will not "resolve itself" as he states. I'm reading a lot into this for the little information provided, but he appears not to have any motivation towards putting any effort at all into the marriage. He sounds lazy and uninvolved. Do you really want to stay with someone who is not devoted to the marriage? Suggestions: counselling; if he won't go then go yourself. Never give him ultimations; take care of yourself!
2007-01-14 10:28:54 · answer #4 · answered by tublugator08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to say it's over and he just wants it to end, without confronting you with that information. Men who have not confronted their wives about many issues, whether the wife is confrontational or the guy is a liar, or both -- have a tough time running right into the jaws of this huge potential conflict.
Ask him straight out but calmly in a normal voice- "are you saying you want us to split up?" If he says yes, DON"T scream and freak out - he'll just clam up more. Be calm and unemotional - that's the only way to get the information you want and deserve.
He's not speaking specifically because like it or not he is terrified of your response.
2007-01-14 10:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the correct way is to sort the things out and let them not go haywire. You surely have the surest solution for a healthy relationship. However, your husband is totally unsure of what he wants in life, which is a serious problem. Tackle him differently, prove to him that life cannot be left to destiny alone, he has a definite role to play in shaping up his destiny and yours.
As of now, you are not UNSURE but your husband's un-surety has definitely made you one -- Mrs. Unsure.
2007-01-14 10:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by keyman_o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to really talk about it and he hopes that provided you carry on as normal things will resolve themselves. Jolt him into action and book an appointment with Relate. Get the professionals on the job.
2007-01-14 10:21:05 · answer #7 · answered by ANF 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me I think he thinks he does not want either. You gave him two options and by saying he wants the situation to resove itself to me means he does not want to work things out or get a divorce he just wants it to go away all on its own. Maybe I am wrong though?
2007-01-14 10:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because he's a coward and doesn't want to accept any responsibility that your marriage is failing. Bad relationships don't "work themselves out"... You both have to work at it, by trying, communicating, and >wanting< things to work out. If he's not willing to meet you half way to make this relationship work, then quite honestly- there >is< no relationship to fix.
2007-01-14 10:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe he does love you but he is not sure how to let u know that anymore
just try to work things out and see where it goes
if u are not happy with the results get rid of him and go get a real man
2007-01-14 10:33:56 · answer #10 · answered by kimberly2181 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋