advice on keeping child off school because of bullying?

Question

My child is in yr 5 at school, he has been verbally bullied for the last few months at school. On the first 2 occasions the headmaster assured me it wouldnt happen again. It has happened again, this time my son broke down in the playground, i went and spoke to the headmaster, who again assured me he would speak to the children concerned, and that would be an end to it! This was no-longer acceptable to me, so i have kept him off school for the last week. In the mean time i have written to the parent govenor and also the council. The council said they would get involved if after the parent gov gets involved and i am still not happy. I received a letter from the school asking me to go in for a meeting with the headmaster, but also an officer?? what officer? truancy? I am really annoyed if this is the case, as i am protecting my son, as the school dont want to know! The school have made me feel like i am just causing problems, and they try to make excuses.

Answer 1

Don't let the school off load the responsibility for this onto you. Go to the meeting but make it clear that if there is any further bullying you will go straight to the police and if you believe it to be true you will tell the police that the head teacher and other staff are aiding and abetting the bullying.

Answer 2

This has always been a problem for schools. You havn't done wrong in the eyes of many parents, but the school may not see it this way. Make sure you get a chance to explain.

As far as the school goes, the immediate response would be to get angry at the teachers/headmaster, which is fair enough but to be honest they are stuck between a rock and a hard place to be honest. If anything is said to the bully from the teachers, the first reaction for them is to go straight to the victim for "telling". My advice would be to have a chat to the bully's parents and hope that they are the type to understand and sit down with the bully and chat to them which may sort this out. Does your child have many friends in school? Can you ask the teachers to just keep an eye on him, expecially dinner ladies during lunch breaks, they will tell you that they have too many kids to keep an eye on just one but at least they are aware of the situatio if something happens and hopefully nothing will escalate from the verbal bullying.

The main thing to remember is that the bullys will get tired eventually. They'll get bored and find something else to do. The whole thing will die down but you should make sure you make time for your child, make sure you can give them the love and support they need at home so they feel like they can face the day at school. Does the child have any after school clubs/societies/or sports that (s)he does, as that can greatly improve their confidance in and out of school which may help them.

Good luck with everything!!!

Answer 3

This has definitely become a matter for the education board since your son's headmaster is doing nothing. Keeping your child off school will only result in you getting into trouble for doing so and will leave him lagging behind in his school work. Why should you and he be punished when you're the victims in this matter?

You need to complain vocally to the council/education department about how you want something done now to resolve this situation as your son is miserable. Keep a diary to record every incident that your son has endured at the hands of the bullies so you have dates, names and what happened all noted down.

When you go up to the school, take someone with you (your spouse/partner, sibling, friend, etc) as support in your corner and clearly state that you are disgusted that your son is being harassed at school to the point where he's often left in tears and terrified to go back. I'd also drop in that you intend to go to the press if something isn't done (these days, the newspapers show an interest in schools where the anti-bullying policies are shoddy).

I also wonder if you've considered moving your son to another school if nothing happens. It's might not be fair on your son that he's the one who has to move but it's worth it if he's happier and can learn to enjoy school again. I'd also suggest enrolling him in a few after-school clubs (Scouts, martial arts, football, swimming, etc) so he can mix with other children outside a school setting and he can learn your friends don't always have to be people you go to school with. It will also bulk up his confidence, which is probably in his boots at the moment thanks to these bullies.

I'd also have a look on these websites to see if they suggest anything else that can help you:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/parents/life/health_happiness/problems/bullying.shtml

http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/child.htm

http://www.freedom-in-education.co.uk/school/School_bullying.htm

http://www.scre.ac.uk/bully/

Answer 4

Its good that your kid felt comfortable enough to come talk to you about his being bullied at school. Most kids that age are embarrassed and wont tell a parent. Mam sounds to me like you have a law suit. The headmaster of the school was suppose to handle that situation and it sounds to me like he didnt. The bully should be sent to a alternative school with other kids that have the same built up anger. Your son is scared to go to school and get an education because of this brat constantly in his face and its hard on him. it lowers a childs self esteem, it cohearses other kids to help aid in the bullying. Talk to some news stations in your area. Talk to a lawyer. When you have a meeting with the headmaster tell him to make sure the other boys parents are their too. Dont hold anything back. I had a girl try to bully me in the 5th grade she thought i would be a easy target because i was small and kept to myself. Little did she know I took Tae Kwon Do all my life I had the skills to hurt this girl but the discipline to walk away and brush her off my shoulders. Karate teaches you discipline, how to use good judgement, and it builds self esteem. Think about getting your son into some classes.

Answer 5

I would go down to the school and see this governor, and advise him that you are not allowing your son back to the school until, he can guarantee that this unacceptable behaviour no longer happens. If they get truancy officers/police involved, then go to the local news paper, they would love a story like this, school however not so much. Bullying at a school is like the black death, parent will see this and start to look for different schools, maybe not the ones whose kids are there now, but the parents of the kids moving into the school the next year,

Answer 6

Yes, in England and Wales the governors are fully within their powers to impose such a rule, but it is the head teacher's responsibility to ensure that it is explained to pupils and parents. If you and your child were not aware of the rule, you should write to the chairman of the board of governors, although this won't endear you to the head teacher. Confiscated items can be kept until the end of the school year, or until the child leaves the school if sooner.

Answer 7

You cant live your childs life for them, mine is year 6 and has similar verbal abuse probs which bother him immensely, the worst offender is the year 4 brother of one of my sons class mates, so the option of a boody good smack is not available.
Esteem building at home must be the best option, and keeping the child home will make matters worse, are the problems home related at root, I wonder. it may well be those doing the "Bullying" themselves have severe problems at home, Step siblings step parents or a series of "Uncles" even money or job security problems at home can make children feel a need to be superior to someone which is what bullying achieves.

Answer 8

The answer is do not keep your son from school. This only hurts his self confidence. He is going to go through things like this from time to time. He has to learn to stick up for himself, Even though the parental instinct wants to take over. I am a second degree black belt in wing chung. I didn't take martial arts to kick ***! I took it to give me the confidence to deal with any type of situation that may occur. I would take your son to a martial arts class to see if he would enjoy it. This will give him the self confidence and most importantly the self respect that he needs. you can't always be there for your children. But you can give them the tools they need to deal with everyday problems.

Answer 9

Maybe you should teach your kid to stand up for himself.

You can't expect a school to monitor and control every child all the time. Neither can you expect to protect your child the rest of his life.

By taking him out of school you're teaching your kid to run away from problems and to fear and give in to bullies. He won't be very sucessful in life with that attitude.

Answer 10

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