What is the difference between self-love and narcissism and how does it affect the capacity to love others?

Answer 1

Self love (the real thing) is a product of knowing yourself and deeply respecting the person you have come to be- self esteem. This is an earned condition, not an entitlement of birth. It fills a void within us that most look to others to fill; needs that in truth others could never fill, meaning such relationships are based on expectation and dependency, an imitator which is never love. Many marriages consist of mutual dependency... and mutual frustration.

With that void filled, a sort of overflow develops from within; the ability to give something of yourself to others without losing any of yourself and without expectation of reward. This is the capacity for love; for the real thing.

Narcissism is little more than ego- being full of the idea that you sure are something. It places others below you, and presumes that they should be impressed with you, owe you praise. It's a sure fire way to preclude the possibility of genuine love. Narcissism is selfish; selfish people are needy and do not have gifts to give.

Love is a gift one person wishes to give to another. Love exists only as a gift. The ability to give the gift, and the ability to receive it without turning it into an obligation, duty or payment is typical of a person who has genuine self-esteem, but is completely absent is a narcissist.

Answer 2

In my experience, self-love comes in part through a connection to God...or to the Higher Being, whatever one prefers to call It....knowing that we are born as a Spirit/Soul with a body, and that the Spirit/Soul has the Divine spark, that we are on a journey and have been given free will, and that we are Loved by that Higher Power for our being. Knowing those things and loving that aspect of Life, and seeing in others the divine spark and caring about them....that is the root of real self-love. It is not dependent, at all, on externals - others' opinions of us, on achievements, looks, wealth, etc. but on an internal sense of self that has Love as its seed. Narcissism is almost the opposite of that. Having a void within, a lack of real self-love, and having a need for external 'supports' to try to fill that void - which can never be filled by externals - is the basis of Narcissism. There is a continuum of narcissism, some mild cases and some extreme. It is the lack of Real self-love.

Answer 3

Healthy self love is a matter of respect for your place in this world. Knowing that you are worthy of an opinion, feelings and love from others just because you are a human being. Narcissism is taking it to the extreme and becoming an egocentric person who loves himself over and above everything and every one else. I think it is true that you can't really love someone else completely until you find self love and acceptance. When you finally do find it you find that you are able to give more and recieve more love from others.

Answer 4

Narcissism is the secular label for a person who exhibits the behavior of self-love. They are spoiled and need to lure/bully as much as an person who refuses to beat an addiction needs a fix. It is only half about abandonment ...abandonment only in the sense someone or many made sure they didn't have to face the music as a child meaning they were over-pittied and rewarded for immoral behavior and or breaking the law. Parental alienation was most likely present all over their environment which fed into them probably during their rebellious testy stages. One of their parents may have been doing their job and was beat down by the child's enablers. The love of getting away with, contemplation, and the need to remain spoiled goes without question...true meaning of love is viewed as hatred and a threat...truth is always that bad guy. They feel enablers love them as this is who they seek attention from and will go after those genuine and honest to get this feed from their enablers. They despise exposure and so do their enablers. I have yet to see the difference between a person who is behaving like this and and the behavior of one who chooses to enable it. Manipulation, lying, projection and obsession with control over people and the riddance of truth is always present in both - easier to spot for some I suppose. Meanwhile the victim and in some cases could be a parent, ends up in a constant sink or swim situation.

Despite all the time I just wasted writing on brats and the brats that use brats to stay a brat themselves I have one point to make and that is - moral values. Quit walking around on eggshells around people who you know are fully aware of what they are doing. Quit worrying about people calling love cold as people, sometimes trained professionals, have been know to live out their juvenile behavior thru people who they know are stuck. I've seen Pastors and other individuals who believe they are exhibiting christian behavior physically reacting to lies - which is unchristian-like behavior. Where is the love in any of that?