I feel horrible all the time because I don't want to reject my husband either but I don't want to do something that makes me uncomfortable. I have talked to him about it and we are both not sure what to do. Has anyone been in this situation before and gotten past it? If so, how?
2007-01-14 01:27:56 · 16 answers · asked by madeline r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In 8 1/2 years of marriage we've each gone through periods where we were just not attracted to each other, but never to the extent that you describe. Were you molested or raped in your past? Were you brought up in a strict religious household where sex was a forbidden topic or there wasn't much physical affection? How long have you been married? Anything that happened in your past will affect your marriage and the rest of your life, and your husband will not just want but NEED both affection and sex if the marriage is to survive.
2007-01-14 01:35:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well in my case I didn't b/c he was abusive...the only way was out! Thank God I did. I think though that if he is not abusive and you two were once happy then it should be worked out with counseling. You can call your local Social Servicies Dept. and they can direct you towards some good counselers that will take insurance or go based on a sliding fee scale so it is not so expensive for you. I know you could do it through a church too. DO you have kids? Maybe you need just more time alone....if not maybe you are needing or wanting to have a child and you may think he does not and you are resentful for that. Have you been faithful to him? Maybe you are guilty of something or feelings you had (have) for another. Maybe he has not been faithful or you have suspicioon and it is bothering you. I think you also need a bit more detail on your question b/c you need to get across why you feel this way...it has to be some reason. If you love each other go to counseling...it will be worth it. I know ppl always say that but it does help. Good Luck!
2007-01-14 09:37:45 · answer #2 · answered by me! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I went through something like that, not as extreme. The way we got past this was communication, I told her that my feelings would get hurt every time she rejected me. She in turn told me that she didn't like me touching her because she felt that I would want it to end in sex. I asked her what was wrong with that if she was my wife? to which she answered that there was alot of things to do around the house like washing clothes, doing the dishes, picking up after our two children, etc. and she could not get in the mood while all of that was on her mind. I told her that if she would let me have her whenever I wanted I would more than gladly help her with whatever she needed. This took care of our problem, she now loves when I touch her, and I don't feel rejected. We are very happy now and very much in love after 5 years of dating and 15 of marriage. Whenever there is something bothering us we know that we can talk it through. Hope this helps you. Good Luck!
2007-01-14 10:16:36 · answer #3 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my fiance, I would get an anxiety attack every time we made love, the first time he ever reachoed out to me for affection I shied away, it was ultimately the end, he could not handle it. I suggest you go to relationship counselling together but I strongly suggest you see someone who specialises in anxiety disoders or something similar. I can't be of much help as I suffer the same problem still, but I read somewhere about a therapy that I think can help me, it may help you also it's called psychodynamic psychotherapy, it could be linked to something that has happened to you many years ago.
2007-01-14 09:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by cheeky_lil_pixiegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to be with a man that you can't stand to have touch you or kiss you. Intimancy is a huge part of a relationship. Not knowing the history between you two, I suggest getting professional help.
2007-01-14 09:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by up2sumpthun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe u r just coming to realize that u prefer women?
No judgements here just acess what it is you want and why you react the way you do.
Sometimes it could be as simple as a poor self-image. Is there something you could actively do that would boost your self-confidence?
Sometimes when a woman doesn't feel good about herself then she doesn't want to be touched.
It could also be a sign of depression.
Try seeing and internal meds doctor. He can direct you. It could be as simple as an anti-anxiety medication (temp. use).
Your hormones could be out of balance.
No one knows for sure.
Try talking with someone about it.
2007-01-14 09:56:02 · answer #6 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do hate my husband b4 just the same what u feel but that is i dont know that im going to have my 1st baby , have been 2 months old the baby in my womb, i dont know that im pregnant , after that my husband understand coz my grandmom explain all and why im like that, pls check if u are pregnant in 2 or 3 months already
2007-01-14 09:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me you have some issues from your childhood that you need to deal with you should consider councelling to help get over this if you love your husband intimacy is an important part a marriage. good luck ...
2007-01-14 12:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how did you get married to someone that you don't like touching or kissing you how did you get past the wedding night
2007-01-14 09:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by ihearthim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he your husband or his he your John ? Maybe your just a lesbian (grumpy dan)
Maybe he never washes his flavor savor. ( angry middle aged man)
You are lesbian my dear. Be free and videotape your adventures. ( the otter)
2007-01-14 10:34:24 · answer #10 · answered by "the Otter" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋