I guess what I'm asking is, can you love your wife / husband but not be in love with her / him? I've never understood how this can be possible. Thanks.
2007-01-14 00:01:58 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is very possible. I loved my last boyfriend. He took on my 2 sons and loved them as if they were his own, but I was not in love with him because he had too many vices. He was dishonest first off and honesty is something that a relationship has to have for trust to be there. My current boyfriend, I have known all of my life and I am in love with him because he is such a great man. He has 4 children and is the best father 2nd in line to my own. He doesn't have money, which my last boyfriend did. He is a sloppy housekeeper, not that I can talk right now....my house is a mess. But I am in love with my current boyfriend for some unknown, phenomenal reason. We have a chemistry, that I didn't have with my ex-boyfriend. Love is so muti-faceted and wonderful at times....no matter how badly I have ever been abused by love....I LOVE IT!
2007-01-19 10:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by macknboo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in love is basically a superficial engagement of the emotions in which you are almost completely absorbed in the other person's qualities and not even seeing negative ones. Everything is new. To a large extent the lover creates this idealized image of his/her beloved despite the fact, obvious to others, that the beloved is far from what the lover thinks, although indeed a good, worthwhile person. If you are lucky you will pass out of this insecure state with the same person and move into true love, where you love without blinders and see all aspects of the other person. This is a wonderful state, and all too often people sabotage it because they feel the loss of that high state of "being in love," so they pass on to someone else, and so on and so forth.
2007-01-14 00:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by Antonio 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a very wise question. Bravo! the fact is they are appropriate. there is love, the feeling. it is often best in the course of the infatuation era presently after 2 human beings meet. It has a tendency to vanish from an astounding, ecstatic feeling to close to 0 in case you do not do the subsequent section, below. there is love, the verb. it truly is the "love your spouse or husband" section. it truly is what builds and sustains the first section, above. that's, couples that stay on the feeling and fail to love their spouses with movements will fizzle out. those that comprehend that it is the verb that sustains the feeling stay lengthy, fortuitously-married lives. I really have got here upon that couples that say they don't love one yet another any better can rekindle the loving feeling with information from purposefully doing loving issues for his or her significant different - even at the same time as they don't sense like it. It worked in my marriage! component to an previous comic tale: a lady had to divorce her husband. She changed into so offended that she hatched a plot to maximise his discomfort. She desirous to take care of him with sweetness and look after 6 months and then BAM! hit him with the papers. She were given espresso for him. She called him puppy names. She showered him with affection. on the end of 6 months she tore up the papers because it changed into the happiest she had ever been! Feeling follows action!
2016-12-02 06:11:20 · answer #3 · answered by gnegy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now I understand why the divorce rate is so high. People who've answered here have the words love and care mixed up as if they are the same thing.
Yes you can care deeply for someone but not love them. Love is what you should in theory have for someone that you marry, a deep undying dedication to that persons self worth, dreams and aspirations along with an spark so bright it will never burn out, a tie that binds you together forever and that's just fine (that's love)
2007-01-21 08:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. TT '07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
Yes it is possible to Love and not be in Love.
In Love is when you still feel for them and will do just about anything. Communication is still their and You still can be yourself without having a guard up. To Love is when you are greatfull to the person for what ever took place in the relationship and feel more of a friendship. When you can do something and not have to answer or the answer you get wont upset you so much. To be hurt because of betrayel is not the same as to be hurt because you are angry.
2007-01-20 07:08:46 · answer #5 · answered by Nunya M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love someone but not be in love with them. We love alot of things and people in our life. But if you are in love it is a different world. You will no by how that person makes you feel and how you react to each other. It is something that can't really be put into words other than when you feel you have taken a breath and your partner finishes that breath. You finish each others every thought. You should feel the difference.
2007-01-20 03:12:06 · answer #6 · answered by LadyBug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone is how you treat them, not only with words, but with actions too. Being 'in love' is a feeling. It's what you believe is love when you're in high school. It's the sparks when you first get together that come and go as the relationship progresses. Basically being 'in love' is a crush. When you love someone you don't have to like them, hell sometimes you won't even be able to stand the sound of their voice, but you love them all the same. When you're 'in love' you really really like them and the sound of their voice falls off their tongue and kisses you no matter what they say. Yes, it really is that f-ing cheesy. Being 'in love' is all the cheesy romantic cliches that distract people from loving.
2007-01-14 00:07:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, yes, this is possible. Being in love with someone actually takes work from both sides.You can fall out of love with someone but still love that person. When you are in love with a person, you still smile everytime you see them, or get excited when they call, or touch your hand. When you love someone, you still care for them, you don't want anything bad to happen to them, or are sad when they are sick or something. I can;t explain this very well, but have been there. Hope it's a little helpful.
2007-01-21 07:17:42 · answer #8 · answered by espee65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This ridiculous idea -- "I love him, but I am not *in* love with him" -- as you said is impossible and like a weed must be torn out by the roots from the minds of many.
It's the stupidest thing in the world, made popular by Harlequin Romance novels and Lifetime for Women movies as a way for people to try and justify screwing two people at the same time.
2007-01-14 01:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a difference between being in love and loving your wife/husband. I love my husband but I don't love being in love with him. I would never marry him again if he ever asked me. But I love him. I love him because we have a history together. Would I consider divorce? Yes, because I am not in love, but I do love him but not enough to stay with him. Being in love feels so wonderful, a euphoria, a complete happiness within. Being in love you feel like you are walking on water, your heart beats fast, you feel like screaming that you are in love. Simply loving that person does not have to be the same. You can love but not be in love.
2007-01-14 00:39:39 · answer #10 · answered by Weasel Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋