Ok so i have this friend (sara) who i spend most weekends and days off with, she is one of my closest but she doesn't consider me her best friend. Its really fun to spend time with her and i would consider her my bestie. Sara is close to this girl Helen, Helen lives in another state but they always talk.
I really cant stand Helen because she only thinks about herself, she uses people to get her own way, she says nasty things, shes just a real *****. All my other friends hated her too, but they dont have to hear from her anymore (They arnt friends with Sara)
Helen talks bad stuff about me to Sara but i just dont want to even hear anything about Helen anymore.
Do i get more distant from Sara? I just cant handle hearing anything about Helen anymore - she just stresses makes me unhappy
Please help!
2007-01-13 19:20:13 · 7 answers · asked by yahoooooooooo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sara doesn't sound like a good friend to begin with. If she valued your friendship as much as you do, she would realize that Helen is driving you guys apart.
I would let her know first about how you feel about Helen. In a nice way of course. Tell Sara about how it is affecting your friendship. And also tell Sara about how much you value her as a friend.
Ideally she would either stop talking to Helen or find some way to make the two of you get along.
But if she doesn't and just ignores whatever you had to say, then Sara isn't a very loyal friend to you. I would distance myself from her. Don't become enemies, but just talk to her less. Maybe if Sara doesn't talk to you, she might re-evaluate her friendship with you. If you stop talking to her and she doesn't attempt to talk to you, she wasn't really your friend to begin with. Good luck.
2007-01-13 21:03:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Sara is bothering you, which it seems she is... take some time away. If it's JUST because of Helen, then you should just ignore the things she says, or schedule your hangout time with Sara without Helen involved and make sure Sara understands that you don't want to hear about Helen. If Sara can't understand and oblige, then you probably shouldn't hang out with her.
2007-01-13 19:25:30 · answer #2 · answered by littlekitty1985 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem is sara not helen. Helen is in another state for goodness sakes.tell sara,"dont talk to me about helen, I hate her and i dont care about anything she has to say" if sara cant do that, shes not your friend. Sara is probably talking about you to Helen, how else could she have bad things to say about u if she is in a different state and none of ur other friend speak with her
2007-01-13 20:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have two great options...that is to sacrifice a friend or to sacrifice yourself....you dont have to hear anything of helen if you want to, atleast not on the dark side. you have the choice to dump someone who is very dear to you and you are free- but will sara understand? I guess she will but not after hating you in return... you have fun when you're with her, why stop now that you yourself accepts shes close to you heart?
the other option is to sacrifice a little for a friend- your own self... just be there for sara and try to understand why helen is acting like that...of course it will be hard but if you look at the fruits, its not a big deal you know...you dont have to sacrifice sara that way, and in another way, you are helping her out- by showing her how understanding a friend you are...
but as I said you have two options- sacrifice a friend or yourself...and one good power- choice...choose....
2007-01-13 19:38:17 · answer #4 · answered by terelsien 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, distancing yourself would be giving into what Helen wants you to do. Besides, if you can dump a friend over a reason like that, you weren't that loyal to begin with.
2007-01-13 19:25:25 · answer #5 · answered by SirCharles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like this has been happening for an prolonged time. it's time for those women to get a awaken call from you. tell them firmly which you're bored with battling with them and that they are able to't pass to promenade with you. you do not want you're promenade ruined by utilising their stupidity. decrease them off now or it gets worse.
2016-12-16 04:15:13 · answer #6 · answered by kull 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell Sara to not talk about her anymore to you, or else you can't be her friend anymore. If she's your friend, she'll understand.
2007-01-13 19:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋