We broke up because I caught him in another lie. It was a minor lie. He was being friends with a girl in our building and while he was with her lied about being with her and also had his phone turned off. I feel betrayed so badly that we have broken up. We have a baby together and are facing councelling. This isnt the only white lie hes told. I know he didnt cheat because he took a polygraph and passed. But its the emotional part that kills me. We are pursuing councelling and part of me thinks I over reacted because he was being her friend only ..and he hides his friendships with women from me because I get so jealous. Do you think that leaving was the right thing? Is it fine to throw away five years of being together because he wants to make friends with other women? Do any of these casual relationships even work?
2007-01-13 19:08:26 · 7 answers · asked by jennyve25 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well you sound like a jealous person...but then again maybe he wants to get some..i think that you did the right thing if your not happy with him and you sound like you don't trust him...if you think its beyond friendship and he wants to do something then he is a jerk but do you really think that's what it is? there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite gender...if you had a nice guy friend and he got jealous would you care? but then again maybe its postpatum depression and your not up for the lingerie and he's looking elsewhere....but if he loves you he wouldn't and he passed the polygraph...i think its bunk...maybe its not real...i don't know...lie detectors? do they work? and you wouldn't need that if you trust him...just wait it out and see how you feel after your mood improves...ask him what he wants...if he doesn't care he is a jerk and just find someone else...but if you want it to work and you let him know your sick of his lies maybe he will be different? just do what makes you feel happy.
2007-01-13 19:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you sound like a very jealous person. Your boyfriend was probably just talking to this other woman as a friend, but acted in this way because he knows how jealous and suspicious you are. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. I can't imagine how hard it must have been on him to be with someone as jealous as you. It's good that you were both in counseling, but I think that you need some counseling on your own to work through these issues. Why are you so jealous of your boyfriend talking to other women and wanting to be friends? My husband has several female friends, and I have several guy friends and that's all we are... FRIENDS! It can happen! A relationship should be built on love, honesty, trust and communication, not suspicion and jealousy! Try to work on yourself next time you want to accuse someone!
2007-01-13 21:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by kaliluna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he had to hide anything, then he conscienciously knew he was doing something wrong and took measures to hide it. Open, honest friendships do not need to be locked away because they threaten no one. But one hidden threatens everything. You say this is not his first lie, nor will it be the last. You've conveyed the message to him that you refuse to played for a fool. Good for you. He can catch AIDS now, and instead of passing them on to you without you knowing what's been going on, he'll get to keep his disease all to his lonesome self. Looks good on him. Don't listen to the answers I've seen on here, looks like a bunch of MEN submitted them, and we all know how bright they are, don't we? Don't worry, you did the right thing in protecting yourself.
2007-01-13 20:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, if hes lying about being with her, and shutting his phone off, than theres obviously something hes doing that he needs to hide. And if he needs to take lie detector tests about cheating, there is something seriously wrong with your relationship. Just because you have a child together does not mean you have to stay together. Is it better for your child to live in a home where their parents are angry and unhappy. Separate for awhile, seek counseling, and see what happens. If you feel betrayed than thats how you feel, no one can tell you thats wrong. But if you go back with him you are going to have to accept these female friends, and you have to decide if thats something you can do.
2007-01-13 19:20:14 · answer #4 · answered by Janelle J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is see this situation for what it is and act accordingly ,,,, Do what you are moved to do ,,,, If you can't trust him then you'll never be able to after this ,,,, there are allot of fish in the pond ,,,, go fishing and find some one that's fun and exciting to be around ,,,, they are out there and some of them even come problem and trouble free ,,,,
2007-01-13 22:12:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think u were wrong to leave him.U r being too paranoid. Open up ur social circle and go for counselling.
2007-01-13 19:18:23 · answer #6 · answered by Jancy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing for him, yes I have many friendships, you impose you jealousy on him and want people to say you were right or you poor thing. It's you girl not him. And some girls will say you were right, but you know you weren't, you just weren't getting your way.
2007-01-13 19:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by brp_13 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋