is it wrong that I find my husband very unattractive?

Question

I love him to death. I am not embarassed to be with him. He is a great husband. But I think he is ugly. Please help! Is this normal or I am I an awful wife?

This is for sugarBear: I didn't marry him for his looks. I married him because he is a very good man. All this other physical stuff is secondary.

In the real world, beauty gets you only so far. At one point (hopefully), a person's true character comes thru. This is why I married this man. True at times I see him for what he is, an ugly man. But along with all this I also see his character. He is a very amazing person. So, with that said I should clarify some things. I am not repulsed by his looks. I don't feel disgusted by his touch or his love. Sex is great. But he is an unattractive man. He gets plenty of love from me. Plenty of support, plenty of sex, plenty of home cooked meals ;) , plenty of hugs and kisses. All I want to know is, is it completely and utterly wrong that I don't find him attracted???

Answer 1

I think it is kind of weird that you say the sex is great and you have a great relationship but you think hes ugly? I think you are a better wife then most to be honest because you love him for who he is. But just because you do not find him attractive doesnt mean you arent attracted to him. If you are attracted to him and have great sex and arent embarresed of him it sounds like a very healthy relationship to me. If you find him unattractive who cares? Im sure when men and women get up their in age and in their marriages they dont find their partners as attractive anymore either. So dont worry..you just ahead of the game. Please dont ever tell him hes ugly though. :(

Answer 2

sound like you fell in love with the inner beauty which i think this world would be better if more people take the time out to do due to the fact 9xs out of 10 most men go off and marry what they call a dime and then step out on their wife to mess around with a gallon of milk you get it they have at home a pint who has moved up to a half of gallon but its never enough so they just say f***k it and go out with whats pleasing the gallon i dont see nothing wrong with your case ive been there done that and as long as i was happy that was all that matter and for all of you who are reading this no im not a fat ugly girl very sexy opposites do attract

Answer 3

Compliment him, compliment him and compliment him!!! While you do this take a good look at him and find exactly what it is you find unattractive, then a few weeks later (if he's open to it) tell him that you would LOVE it if we (for instance) "wore contacts" if glasses were the problem. Or cut his hair differently, or make a slight change in wardrobe. Do this without letting him know what you REALLY feel. Tell him "I find you sexy when you....." then if he's a good husband he'll feel confident about the change. If he starts getting doubts about the change, then you always have the fact that you've been telling him he's "so handsome" all the time. and you want to aadd in a little "sexy "from time to time. When/ if he does accept the change dhow him more affection so that he can understand that you have good intentions with the change. NOTHING drastic such as hair plus. Try to make sure the change is subtle enough for him.

Answer 4

So the real question is, did you find him attractive before you married him? If the answer is yes then I say that your marriage is probably going through some phase, it could just be that your tastes are changing. How would you feel if he felt that way about you? What if you were with a group of women who found him very desirable, would that change your tone? You have to ask yourself, is it something different you or he is doing inside of the relationship to cause this type of reaction. If you married him and you never found him attractive, then I say shame on you for doing that to both of you. Usually it won't work if you are not at least a little attracted to him. So you tell us the whole story.

Answer 5

Hello,
Obviously you married your husband for a reason. If you are happy with your husband and the way he treats you, you should not car for any ones opinion.
Many women and men choose to marry an unattractive person and they have their own reason.
Some times beauty does not provide food or love, non-the less stability.
Sometimes I wish I was married to an ugly woman but full of love Affection and attentions. Unfortunately I had let myself go by the appearance and not by her actions.
You are doing fantastic, keep on going and be happy for all of us, the unhappy ones.
Best Wishes.

Answer 6

You are pathetic but most likely right. True beauty is in the eye of the beholder but if you can't see the man for who he is without seeing that he is unattractive well then perhaps you need to go to some part of the amazon and see the really beautiful people.

LOL

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 7

I don't care what people say here I wouldn't nor could I marry someone that was unattractive. I think when the sexual feeling go in a marriage all you have to fall back on is the looks.

Answer 8

I don't doubt that you love him. You just don't think he looks good. You love who he is though, so I don't think that your thoughts on his physical body are really all that important. I do think that if he's overweight, you should get him to work out with you, because being overweight is unattractive as well as unhealthy and if you love the guy, you wouldn't let him be fat!

Answer 9

it isn't necessarily wrong, but could mean u are a bit shallow. we all can't look like brad Pitt, if he is a great husband, than u have already been blessed with far more than the rest of us have. be thankful for this man, what are u comparing him to? shouldn't compare him to others.

Answer 10

Hey my hubby is no looker, and I'm several inches taller than him to boot. It shouldn't matter if you did not marry him for looks. Heck, you could be burned in a fire tomorrow, how would you feel if he said these things about you?