On our wedding night, when we made love for the first time (first time for both of us), my husband passed blood & had excrutiating pain that made him cry and double over with agony.The erection wouldn't go away for at least 4 hours. It was so bad he had to go to the ER. Miracle of miracles, on that night we conceived our daughter who is 12. The pain I felt giving birth was nothing compared to what hubby went through to conceive her. We've only had sex a handful of times since then.
So our daughter is 12, & has for the past few months acted very hateful towards me & her father. Its taken it's toll on my husband. He's a strict, but loving father. She screams she hates him, wishes him dead when she doesn't get her way.
It hurts him soo bad. It's bizarre, he wants to try for another baby now. After over 12 years of marriage, we've only had sex a handful of times.Now he wants to try as many times as it takes for another baby. Could this sex problem be psychological? Would therapy help?
2007-01-13 17:35:39 · 5 answers · asked by maddishall 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would have to say therapy would help. but I don't think it would be best to have your motives for having a baby because the one doesn't like you right now. you said she was 12 right? well that is prime age for rebellion. You want to hope with everything in you that your child wouldn't turn out to be just like all the rest. but they have to go through this phase and depending on how you respond to this time in her life will depict all about how she'll be when she grows up. And say you do have another child your daughter is now going to be able to watch this new one grow up and it could lead to a lot of bitterness if you raise them both differently because of her hating him. It could lead to a lot of bitterness and rejection. So I would for sure go to someone that would be able to help you. and another thing is why do you think that this next child will love you more than your first born? I'm nt saying it won't but why riskit? what if that one isn't as fond? Jut something to think about...
2007-01-13 17:45:56 · answer #1 · answered by Suya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having another child is a poor excuse for what is going on between you, your husband and your daughter. It's like he's thinking he can solve the problem by having another baby. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact it will only make things worse. Somehow, unconsciously, he is displaying his resentment toward his daughter. So being the sharp minded perceptive twelve year old that she is (as kids that age often are ) she is picking up on this. Hence the lashing out. Welcome to the dawn of the terrible teens. She is rebelling toward his strict treatment plus she is harboring her own feelings that no one really loves her. Deep down she believes she is hated and is going to be replace by a new child so, in turn, she screams that she hates everyone and wishes you were all dead. She going through adolesence and feels alone and afraid. She is acting out her insecurities.
For certain therapy is in good order for all concerned. As for his problem, that sounds physical. Most men experience pleasure when having sex; not gut wrenching agonizing pain the likes of which you are describing. Along with the passing of blood that too is a sure indication that things aren't right with him. He should be evaluated by a medical doctor first. In fact that should have been done from day one. As far ast he psychological, that can come next. But before you both decide to go and have another child, there are problems here and now that need to be addressed by all three of you. With so many issues that all of you are facing right now, this would not be a good time to be bringing a new resposibility into your lives. It wouldn't be fair to any of you, especially to the unborn child.
2007-01-13 18:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, she sounds like me when I was 12 until oh, I don't know 19 or 20. Haha, she's just rebelling. She wants more independence. You might want to look into family counselling if you can't deal with it. That's not a good reason to have another baby infact, I've got to say it's one of the worst reasons I've heard lately. As for your sex life, you two need therapy so badly. That is just depressing.
2007-01-13 18:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no! this litte girl needs your love
and even know it herts you need to wep her an
show her to recpect you and your hubby
i feel so bad for the poor child
she sounds so cute i'll keep you in my prayers
try geting her in some sports too maybe it will help
2007-01-13 18:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by kayla141655 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch, sorry! try therapy
2007-01-13 17:40:28 · answer #5 · answered by howardlee1977 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋