Why do most women prefer dating men that treat them like their personal possession these days?

Question

Has being an outgoing, nice person with personality and spontaniety become boring?

Yes, I am basing this on past experiences. I go on one date with a woman and that's usually it. They seem interested, I play my cards right, but havent' dated anyone consistently for a few years now.

Ladies, what is it you want? Seriously? Im 26....am I supposed to compromise my dignity to become that Italian asshole you dream of? What's missing here?

None of you know me, so don't say it's my attitude. Thanks. It's late and im aggrevated my love life is going about as good as the general climate of this country under Bush. And that's pretty bad in of itself .

Char,

Correct me if im wrong, but you mention that I date women who I hardly know nor are friends with. Isn't the point of dating and playing the field to hang out with someone and see if you share mutual interests while trying to get to know one another?

Why are you accusing me of going after wrong women when im open to dating all types. I've also been rejected by "all types". The rebel, the nice girl, the sorority girl, and the liberal. I've broadened my horizon and have struck out alot. I've had my moments romantically, but don't feel i've hit my peak in that dept like I arguably should have.

Meaning, my best friends and other guys I know have found their right ones. I resort to going online and dating sites to meet women. While I like going to bars, I don't do it to pick up women. I think it's not a good place to meet one anyway. Yeah, im like that.
And you're saying women would not be attracted to me?
I appreciate some clairity here?

Ohio_gurl.....are you bi-polar? Or is this "Curt"? Im not trying to impress anybody. I am being myself. Women like yourself are my problem. You befriend me, then you betray me then you contradict yourself. Seriously, do you have mental issues. It's ok. See, I unlike you, dont TRY to judge people.

Answer 1

Listen love, It seems as if that's what most woman want. You have to remember every single persons wants and needs are different.

Seems as if you're giving up, don't do that. There are woman out that absolutely hate a man treating them like their some other object to claim and control. I'm one of them, yet I found myself with a guy I always promised never to be with. Many days I feel like a fool. I know I'm not alone, there has to be other woman in the same situation as myself. I guess in many ways, I've given up or really haven't started looking for a man with the qualities, and I've settled.

We're out there, we just settled and gave up looking for a decent man. I refuse to change who I am, and my beliefs even though there the opposite of my boyfriends. So don't change who you are, and become just another "asshole", golly there's enough of `em in this world.

Just be patient.

Answer 2

Itallian? I don't have a thing for Itallians, so that isn't something in my world.

Personal possession: You need to look for someone that actually have some self-esteem. Perhaps that's the problem you only date ladies who have low self-esteem.

I have always been my own person, I make my own decision even while I am married. I am no ones possession..for I am a woman from this country with dignity and a lot of self-respect. I refuse to be someone's fool.

You, on the other hand, you choose and pick with whom you want to date (not all ladies are like the ones you have had).. You make that decision.. you shouldn't give your "LOVE" out not knowing what you're getting. If you keep getting these type of ladies, then you need to make improvements on how and where you are getting your ladies from.

Answer 3

I'm a woman, and I would spit in a man's face (not really spit, but I'd want to) if he treated me like a possession.

I know plenty of Italians that are not at all the macho jerk you describe. Don't be so hateful!

Maybe you're concentrating so hard on finding a woman that you're neglecting other areas of your life. Strong women want strong men (not jerks) that are their equals and treat them thusly, and they may sense this weekness in you and be turned off by it. Have confidence but stay humble. Be open, but don't actively seek a relationship. All things come in time. I'm sure you're lonely, but would you rather waste your time with the wrong girl? Why don't you try to enjoy being single and self-sufficient! When you're eventually in a commitment (and you will be), you'll probably look back on your single days and long for the freedom!

Also, the phrase is "in and of itself."

Answer 4

Heyman,
Starting from the bottom, that is an interesting analogy.
Using that, my love life is in even worse shape than the state of the union. Extinct! I can live with it.
You have time and there is real hope for you.

A guess is that you are chasing after the wrong types of women.
Know who you are. Know what you have to offer.
Your type of woman wants you.

Another guess is that you date someone you haven't made friends with or know much about. You'd like to see the person for a second date, but she has already eliminated you.

No, an outgoing, nice, personable and spontaneous guy would never be boring. He merely is not the one a particular lady is attracted to.

Why are you wasting your time with the wrong girls, the "most women" in your experience?
Change your criteria. I wish you success, honestly.

Answer 5

Sadly, most women at that age are still looking for the material versions of the relationship and it seems the 'jerks' are the ones that promise 'things'. At least this is what I observe from several of the ones I know. I'm sure you are frustrated but I hate to see someone compromise themselves to please some superficial woman. Sort of bad for me to say about my sex but as we get a little older we realize what is more important. I'll take outgoing, nice, and spontaneity anytime over obnoxious, crude, rude, and negative males. Could be I've have narrowed down what works and doesn't work for me and I'm not wasting my time on idiots anymore.

Don't give up - you will find her.

Answer 6

Hey Good Looking!! If I was younger and you needed glasses, and the moon was full, I would----------well, I mean, I would be looking for you if I was a young lady. Or even a cheap--------
uh, I mean, there are plenty of girls who would find the way you think and your sharp wit quite a turn-on. And that's just on the written page. Call the girls you take out the next day to soothe their mind. (But drop the ones who only talk about themselves though. They're auditioning or just practicing) Then ask the good ones out a second time early enough for the following week. Then you'll have your answer. If you never get up to bat, you'll never hit one! (the baseball you guys) And Keep Trying!! Shoot for the Stars, you silver-tongued devil!! And another thing!! I got over Ricky Martin doing my Viva Loca a long time ago!! He bores me now. Good Luck!! @8=)

Answer 7

If it's not in you to be an "Alpha male", then maybe you shouldn't be trying to pick up "Omega women", and then getting mad when "Alpha men" take them away from you.

In my opinion, you're compromising your dignity here with this whiny rant.

Be patient, sport. You'll find the right girl eventually, and even though you're getting frustrated with not having found her yet, you're still in the market and trying, which is more than most can say.

Maybe a good move would be to change how or where you're meeting your dates. Apparently you're zoning in on the wrong kinds of women for you, and you may be limiting your prospects a little too much.

Answer 8

I don't think that women want to be treated like personal posessions. It is just that they get in with the wrong person and he treats her that way. Women fall in love easier than men do and it makes it hard to let go. A lot of women are very scared to try to leave this type of man and stay because of it. You sound like a nice guy and I hope you find the right woman for you. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 9

Women want someone that takes care of their needs, even if their needs are just trying to please the jerk.

To cut to the chase, 1 in 3 US girls are sexually abused. Whether they remember it or not (many won't for decades), it messes up their life. When the preemanent psychiatrist Sigmund Freud tried to expose rampant child rape, he was quickly silenced and forced to recant his accusations.

Society also objectifies women as trophies in everything from consumer ads to male masturbatory material. Women start believing this as normal and acceptable. Many even choose to participate in the objectification.

A nice, sensitive straight guy these days doesn't stand a chance in today's American dating climate with "easy" capitalistic women other men fight over. A modern Soviet woman may be a more suitable option for romantic company these days when it comes to us beta- and omega-males. The alpha-dogs, even when they're ugly, are still too attractive to the fairer sex in America.

Answer 10

How could you be playing your cards right?
You know? Remember the Dr. Phil money quote: "hows that working out for you".

What you should be asking on the positive side is what is it about these Italian whatever you said, that attracts women. There is something there.

You know what it is? Those guys don't play their cards right, they aren't sitting at the table playing up to the dealer, they are the dealer, they deal the cards, it is their reality, women like to be swept away. Its part of the "princess complex". They don't want to have to worry about dealing with stuff, and making decisions. That's why they like your Italian AH who do what ever they want, it if it means they are hanging out with an AH. You can't control attraction, so learn what it is.

I like to say all of the bad boy none of the asshole.