After 23+ years of marriage my husband left my girls and I and has gone crazy with internet dating and out of caractor behavior. I am stunned at his behavior and I'm afraid he is on a path to distruction. I know that I have to focus on myself and my girls first, but I can't totally abandon him yet. please let me in on something that will make this craziness make a bit of sense.
2007-01-13 15:52:54 · 7 answers · asked by donna p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to a counselor, and ask him to help you formulate a plan for an "intervention." Normally, this will involve sitting him down and everyone who is important to him telling him, lovingly, how his behavior is hurting them. Usually, the person who will probably have the greatest impact, often the youngest child, or the one with whom he has the most caring relationship, goes last. You then all stress the importance to him of getting counseling and help to stop hurting you all. If his behavior is as bad as you say, now is the time for such "drastic" action.
2007-01-13 16:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Donna, when you married this man 23+ years ago, you took your vows to heart. Your husband needs help and understanding, but honey until he hits the bottom there is nothing that you can do. If he won't seek professional help, or advice from anyone then hold on tight for the ride. Buckle up and just pray that he won't ruin everything for himself and your family.
Your daughter's might need to have a little counseling theirselves with dealing with this new "Dad". They feel abandon and betrayed, just like you. If you could afford some family counseling that you truly be helpful. These men don't realize or they just seem to care what these moods swings and life style changes does to their families. It's almost like an alien as taken control over their bodies and minds.
Keep the lines on communication open with your girls. Tell them to be honest with you, and their Father. Some wives insist on keeping the kids mouths closed tight, and not upsetting the man anymore. But I am beginning to think that is wrong. Sometimes, it's the children that can give the guy his wake up call. "Hey, Daddy you are acting like an idoit" might be just what he needs.
Donna, I hope and pray that things get better. Sweetie, it's going to get worse before it gets better, I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. Protect your heart and your mind, and just be there when he crashes, and he will. For your teenage daughters it's got to be so painful for them, but I know one thing they have a "great" Mom to help them through this. They are very lucky. Praying hard, and hope the ride is a short one for you and your girls.
God bless us all............
2007-01-14 11:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a bigger person than I. If you insist on being there from him, let him get this out of his system. It sounds like a mid-life crisis to me. Don't let this affect your daughters. At least more than it already has. Maybe you could seek out counseling. Just make sure he is not hurting himself.
2007-01-14 00:02:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband have someone in his life that he would listen to? You can ask that person to help him.
Take care of yourself and especially your girls. You cannot force anyone to love you nor be there for you forever. Once love is out of the picture, you can kiss that person goodbye.
2007-01-14 00:12:00 · answer #4 · answered by childofGod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...he left you, so you have to let go...he don't want you no more....it looks to me like he has gone on with his life sweetheart..i'm sorry.......ok go file for divorce....and go after him for childsupport now..so you can start collection now..if they are old enough....hopefully they are....oh boy...that selfish sob...maybe he was doing it all along..........why can't you leave him just yet....your children are more important than that man!!!! he chose those bimbos over you....what is the matter with you......you can wake up one morning and your children can be taken from you by God...that is what happend to me....so forget that man .think of your daughters! ..
2007-01-14 00:09:29 · answer #5 · answered by hatchetmistress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Professional help! He has a huge problem and that is is the only way to help him and if you still want to be married, help the two of you as well.
God Bless!
2007-01-14 00:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by cowgirl! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you support him
he has certainly abandoned youdo yourself a favor
divorce and move on
he has proved his loyalty and his reguards to his marriage vows
2007-01-14 01:09:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋