is my dad cheating on my mom or is it mid life crisis??

Question

so my dad has been disapearing a lot and saying he has been going to all these places. He'll walk down stairs and stay down there forever and before you know it no one will know where he went. My dad hasnt been home lately and he always saying he has to go to these places. One time he said he had to go to his hair cut but he has no damn hair and he always has my mom cut it. im so uppset i dont know what to think. Its like my mom knows whats going on too. Ill ask her where my dad is and she'll say ohhh at his friends. My dad has cheated on my mom once before. My dad seems to lie about all these "places" he's been to.What should i do.??

Answer 1

Firstly, i hope your folks know how lucky they are to have you.

It's really hard to say what you should do, i imagine you're kinda backed between a hard brick and a hard brick and your world is falling around you. Perhaps you could contact one of the confidential family line / childline organisations in your area - hopefully they are there and in confidence share your concerns with someone who truley understands what you're going through. I can understand perhaps concern about this in that you don't want some stranger meddling in your family affairs and nor would your parents perhaps appreciate it but i do believe there are some organisations that do appreciate that and advise accordingly.

Alternatively, if perhaps you have other siblings and your Mum is approachable, you could all approach her and tell her how you as children see what's going on and how much it upsets you all and go from there. She's the grown up in tnis and hopefully she will be jolted by it to actively do something about the problem.

All the best to you.

Answer 2

If your dad cheated on your mom once he is probably doing it again. I was married for 17 years and he cheated on me all the time and I knew it, but I loved him very much and didn't want to loose him. Your mom sounds like me and she is out for a big hurt. My ex finally left me for a woman old enough to be his mom. It really hurt me at first, but now I know I am better off. It is not your place to do anything. I know this is hard to do, but it is best for you. I know u are hurting and u want to tell your dad to grow up and see the wonderful woman he already has. One day he will learn that the grass is not greener on the other side. It is just growing under sewer. Yes she does need to divorce him and move on with her life. She diserves better than that, but she is the only one that can decide to end it. He will never change no matter how much she wishes he would. None of this is your fault. My kids thought it was their fault, but it was not. He was the one to blame. I understand that your dad is really hurting you. My daughter is the same way. She will have nothing to do with her dad. All of this is his fault and someday maybe he will see that and ask for your forgiveness. I am sorry u are having to go through this. The kids are always the ones that hurt the most. God bless u and try not to worry so much, u are just a kid, so enjoy life the best u can.

Answer 3

Although you must come up with your own script, there most certainly IS something you can do. You can tell your father what he is doing that upsets you, exactly how it makes you feel, and what he can do to make you feel better. "Dad, when you leave, and I don't know where you are, it worries me a lot. I get scared. I worry about the future of our family. Sometimes, I feel like I can't trust you. You say you need to go get a haircut, but I know Mom cuts your hair. Dad, I want you back in our lives, with us. I don't want to have to worry about you anymore. I'm just a kid, and I need my father." Again, though, remember to put it all in YOUR own words. As long as it's from your heart, you're saying the right thing. Now, bear in mind, there is no guarantee that you saying all you have to say will change him, but, it might. It could be the "wake up call" he needs. Worst case scenario, you will forever after know that you did ALL you could.

Answer 4

He is probably going through a midlife crisis, men at around the age of 40 know they are losing through looks, they think they can get all back by going out acting young and women making feel them young, but when they realize they have all the happiness they need at home, most of the time it is to late. Your Mom is taking it like I have never seen a woman do but may realize that this will pass. I hope for all of you it does and your life can again be happy.
Let me wish you and your family the best of life has to offer and hopefully he;ll wake up and see what he is going to lose, if things don't change.

Answer 5

There are a lot of answers besides cheating. Is he going to counseling, AA, drug therapy, dance lessons (i know that one sounds funny). The problem is that you don't know. If your Mom is covering then it might not be important or she just don't want you worried (parents are that way) (they don't realize that you are that smart and can figure things out and they are surprised when you confront them with it). If you can't handle, waiting till your Mom is ready to tell you - then you need to talk to her about how you feel. Good Luck.

Answer 6

There is really nothing you can do. I am sure you are upset but you can't stop your dad from cheating or lieing. Have you tried talking to your mom about how you feel? Or maybe tell your dad how you feel if you can.

Answer 7

Give Dad a wake-up call and ask him yourself! He'll probably fess-up to You!

Answer 8

this is really nothing you can do. this is something that your parents have to deal with. im sorry to say that children in these
situations dont have much say so about what going with your
parents.

Answer 9

tell mommy to get a good divorce lawyer
and to file
ASAP
she'll get half his income for a while
child support
and he be forced to sell the house
or buy her out
that will teach that cheating bastard

Answer 10

This is between your mum and dad.

But if you feel so strongly about it then confront both of them.