Personally I don't think it's the worst thing that could happen. I've distanced myself from my father because he has personal issues and I think it's made me a lot more independent than the women I know who grew up depending on their father for support and encouragement.
2007-01-13 15:44:31 · 14 answers · asked by kate 4 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I don't think it's absolutely detrimental to a woman's development, but I don't think it's a really good thing either. It's sort of like taking vitamins. Vitamins are good for you, and definitely beneficial, but as long as you're getting all the things you need to be healthy from other sources, I think you're OK.
I think that distancing yourself from your father for no reason is bad, but if you are in a situation where being close to your father would hurt you more than being distant from him, than you're doing a good thing. Ultimately you need to make sure that you are happy, healthy, and can function properly. Everyone reacts to things differently. You will encounter people in your lifetime who will blame all of their psychological problems on the fact that they didn't have a father, and you will meet people who are glad they didn't. It's all about what kind of a person you are.
Again, I don't think it's a matter of being good or bad. Having a father is a good thing, if he is the right type of father, but not having one isn't the end of the world.
2007-01-13 15:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by Katie Love 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I grew up without a father (well I saw him on and off while growing up). I agree that it's not the worst thing that could happen, and I'm very independent, but sometimes I do wonder what I've missed out on.
2007-01-13 18:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by Lochie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course the ideal is to grow up in a happy home with both parents doting lovingly on their offspring. Unfortunately, this perfect "Beaver Cleaver" family was a myth even when the famous televison series was being produced way back in the 1950's. Saccharine is artificial, and so the the made-for-television nature of the saccharinly-sweet family portrayed. Today's generation of young people has no clue as to what life was really like back then: they watch television re-runs and so obtain their ideas of reference from there. The Cleaver Family was a fictional family in a fictional world - the world of TV.
Having said that, my point is that in the absence of two loving parents, one loving parent is fine and can fill most of the void (left by the absent second parent). Role models/mentors of the opposite sex can be relatives (uncles, aunts, or friends). No psychologist would ever argue that a miserable home with two miserable parents is better for a child than a happy home with one emotionally mature, devoted and well-adjusted parent at the helm.
2007-01-13 19:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good question, and to be honest with you, its not an easy answer to give AND then follow what you say. I have similar circumstances with my mother. Its a very thin line, if your a believer in Christ you would kno that the bible says to honour thy mother and thy father. But how can you when one of the either is not the best role model. My advise would be to still love your parents with all your heart but at the same time, the one you have a negative perspective about you should at least try and make things neutral and if that is no where close to being possible, then you keep your distance BUT you should still love them. Its hard i know, but it makes you a better person.
2007-01-13 15:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by ChanteC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father died when I was 7 yrs old, I didn't have too much trouble with it, but my son, who's father was not in his life much at all has a very hard time. He wants a man in his life and I have not had the kind of men that would be there for him or really even for me. I think it can have a very bad effect on some, maybe not so much on others.
2007-01-13 15:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by chuchthomas 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know people that had both and I think it effects how you feel when you are older. I had a terrible relationship with my father thus making it harder for me to trust and I hold grudges. My best friend's father died when she was young and it is harder for her to let things go. Another one of my friends had a great relationship with her father and she's got problems too. We all have things we need to get over. So I want my children to have a good relationship with their Father because I didn't get one, but they will live good lives no matter what.
2007-01-13 16:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by aimeeme_g 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's bad.
My older brother and I grew up without a father, so I'm speaking from personal experience. We also are the product of an inter-racial marriage (black mom, white dad). We were never accepted as belonging to either race.
When we were little kids, we got beat up by gangs of black kids because we looked white. And when we were older kids, my brother had a white girlfriend that he liked. Her parents were cool with us until one day when they found out that our mom was black.
From that time on, they banned their daughter and her brother from ever going near me or my older brother. While growing up, almost everyone we knew was racist. I don't think that it changes as an adult, it's just that people have to hide it more than they did when they were kids for fear of losing their job.
My brother has had severe depression for over 20 years. He won't talk to anyone, not even our mom who he lives with. He always stays in his room and never comes out. I almost ended up like that, too, but only God saved me from it. If only you experienced what my brother and I did, but I would not wish it on my enemies.
If we would have had a father there while we were growing up, it would have been a much more stable family even with racial discrimination. There is a reason that God made a man and a woman to have children together. God intends that they stay together.
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2007-01-13 16:00:57 · answer #7 · answered by Peace2U 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I guess its not important to grow up with a mother either then??? Everybody needs a father and a mother whether or not they want to admit that or not. What you do not need are abusive people in your life. If either of those parents turns out to be abusive, well then thats the only time you would be better off without them.
2007-01-14 08:42:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's not undesirable sometimes its for the greater advantageous i final observed my father while i exchange into 2 then never heard from him returned, then suddenly met him while i exchange into 28 and omg i'm so grateful he wasnt around greater advantageous he seems likes this variety of loser
2016-10-19 23:04:18 · answer #9 · answered by mctaggart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my youngest brother was 18 months old when my father died he didnt even know dad,but he turned out fine he is now 41 and has never been in trouble or anything
2007-01-13 15:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋