I was recently married and everyone I have talked to says the first year is always the worst and it gets better with time, is this true? I am not considering divorce I am just wondering if everyone fights that through their first year.
2007-01-13 15:35:50 · 20 answers · asked by samilynn04 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know about the Worst year, but it can definately be an adjustment. It can be hard to deal with someone on a daily basis in such an intimate fashion. I don't think it's pretty well known that there can be alot of friction in a year that you are *supposed* to be blissfully happy.
Two things will happen - either you will learn to live together as a married couple, or you won't. Remember why you got married, why you two got together in the first place, and whether you think your life would be better without the other in it. More than likely, you will fall into a routine you both can live with, learn to pick your fights, and continue to figure out how to press each others buttons (but not too much).
Good luck!
2007-01-13 15:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our worst year was not our first year, but neither was it easy. Face it -- there is a LOT to get used to in that first year! Who is responsible for what? How are we going to merge finances? What territory is mine and what is yours? Plus, lots of newlyweds are living together for the first time, contemplating (or dealing with) their first baby, moving into a new house, and other stressful situations. It is only natural to argue some. Important: keep your fights fair! Don't insult. Do listen. Don't use sarcasm. Do compromise. Also important: get emotional support from people outside your relationship who support your relationship, while avoiding anyone who may be interested in harming your relationship. Things will almost certainly get better if you keep your disagreements in perspective and work together to solidify your fledgling marriage.
2007-01-13 23:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually our first year wasn't very bad at all, it was our second year that was terrible. After that it was much better. Every married couple goes through growing pains, and you will have them again. I've been told that it happens once a decade or so. (Sometimes more)
For us, we hate autumn. Every fall we get into fights. (the rest of the year is pretty docile) Sometimes big, sometimes small fights usually over stupid things that don't matter in the least. We think it is the change in the weather that makes us so cranky.
2007-01-13 23:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no! my first year was the happiest. I think it just depends on the couple. Some people are more easy going while others argue over the least little thing. Remember you married because you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person. Enjoy being together and learning more and more about each other along the way.
2007-01-13 23:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by Janst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did starting the next day after the vows! we were together for 4 yrs prior yes we argued but nothing like we did after that. we promised never to mention the big "d" word. That didnt last long at all it was like holding something over one anothers head. Imature yes. It happens just work through it you have a long life ahead of you and it will get better. Prayer will help you though alot w/ a llittle more give than take as well. We are all told this but untill we are actually their we dont listen imagine that!
2007-01-13 23:43:49 · answer #5 · answered by dork 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reasoning behind the first year being the worst, is that you're trying to get used to someone else's habits. There are always things you won't know about someones habits until you live with them. Hang in there, and try to make compromises with each other, so you're not constantly fighting. Good luck!
2007-01-13 23:41:54 · answer #6 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no rule that says the first year (or any year) is the worst.
Marriage is about communication and compromise. As long as both you and your partner are committed to both of those, you will be fine.
Also, fighting, arguing and disagreeing is not always a "bad" thing as long as you are communicating about a specific problem and working to solve it.
2007-01-13 23:41:38 · answer #7 · answered by DannyGirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the nature and content and causes of the fights. I am assuming that they are fights that are part of the adjustment phase of living under the same roof. Those will sort out.
Stay committed to working through them and then enjoy making up.
2007-01-13 23:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Bob T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand you were both raised differntly. Marriage is a 100-100. You must give up some things and he must give up some things and the void areas that you gave up you fill in together. That is why the bible says you are one flesh.. The areas you are strong the other is weak and visa versa. Im on my 32nd year
2007-01-13 23:44:52 · answer #9 · answered by white dove 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Today is my first year anniversary and we hardly fought at all. maybe 3 times in a year and that is it. I always thought the first few years is suspose to be the best then after that the honey moon is over.
2007-01-13 23:42:13 · answer #10 · answered by Babie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋