I'm really depressed! Last year (in November) I broke up with a bf I had for almost 3 years. About 2 weeks ago I started dating a very nice guy, but he wants to get married and have children. He has absolutly no money, and my family doesn't like that at all. Anyway... I believe we have a really nice relationship when we talk, and we have lots of things in common, but I still feel he's not the right one. I don't know what to do, because he says he's been in love with me for more than a year, but I'm not sure I love him yet.
I'm also depressed because I feel that we're not for each other, he's a poor guy and I'm not that poor. I don't like that, I mean... I believe that we could be happy, but it would be really difficult.
What should I do? Should I tell him? I don't want to hurt him because I really appreciate him, but I feel that I'm not doing this right.
Please help me!!!
2007-01-13 15:14:46 · 11 answers · asked by *-.Victoria.-* 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Marriage and children already? Way too soon to be talking about that. You guys have so many more steps to take in your relationship to start thinking about marriage and kids so just wait on that! I'm going to take your comment that he has absolutely no money as that he has a job - but it doesn't pay that much. I'm also going to assume that the's not a college kind of guy so you don't forsee his work situation getting much better. My advice-stop and think whats important to you. Is money so important to you that you will be absolutely miserable if you cannot shop where you want to shop and you will have to budget? If you seriously think you will be miserable - that's unfortunate - but you can't help how you feel and you should consider dumping him for his sake. You will be miserable and therefore he will be too, because he'll feel that he's not good enough for you even though he will probably be working his fingers to the bone. Is that the kind of life/marriage you want? However, if you can get over your love for money for the love of a good man then I say that's the better choice. If he's truely and good man then he will be willing to do whatever it takes to take care of you and your family and that is worth more then a million dollars to me. Do some self-assessment and soul-searching and make a decision. You may need to make some priority changes for yourself if you decide to stay with him - but just remember that if you decide to stay with him you can't hold it against him later in life that he's not a rich man. Good luck and I hope you find the answer you're looking for.
2007-01-13 15:32:16 · answer #1 · answered by *Photo-op* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him a relationship needs to be built with someone before you can think about starting a family and the 2 of you don't know each other even if he HAS been crushing on you for a year.You can also tell him you don't want to start a family that you can't take care of. Hopefully do something about getting a better job or perhaps going to school. This will buy you some time and maybe the new work ethic will help you see him in a new light.
2007-01-13 16:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship shouldn't be based on the decision of whether someone is poor or not. ...If this is your biggest deciding factor then you're probably not ready for a relationship.
Granted, on the other hand, if you've only been dating him two weeks and you guys are already discussing marriage, then that's rushing it as well.
If the money is going to be the biggest issue for you then just break up with him now. Save you both the time and drama later on.
If you just aren't sure regarding personality...then give it some TIME! (A few months at least!)
2007-01-13 15:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by IAskUAnswer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don;t start something your not sure of not only will it hurt him but it will hurt you also in the long run. If your not sure you love him give it more time, you said it has been only two weeks which isn't near enough time to get to know someone well enough to even consider a long term commitment. Talk to him and explain how you feel and take it slowly from there,
2007-01-13 15:23:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will enjoy in case you do no longer use any prolonged emotional speeches or strengthen any uncooked themes,or use excuses purely be honest short and compassionate, do no longer use cliches purely sit down him down privately and clarify you think of there is themes interior the relationship that cant be worked out and in keeping with threat we'd the two be happier going our separate approaches im going away for a year and picture it may well be too confusing to purpose and make this artwork long distance whilst issues are so confusing now im sorry,i think of its ultimate if we purely circulate on do no longer say you like him/you will constantly love him (care approximately him) i admire somebody else/you do in contrast to me do purely no longer provide fake wish or disappointed him anymore, the faster you do it the greater efficient decrease off touch its ultimate interior the long term good success,
2016-10-07 03:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound like he moving to fast, it only been 2 weeks and he already talking about marriage and kids, let him know that you
are not ready for this, especially since you just got out of
three year relationship, it may be just time to find your self
and not be with any one for a while.
2007-01-13 16:40:49 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't think he is the right guy for you and you are not happy then don't stay with him the money situation you can fix by telling him to go and get a job
2007-01-13 15:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by megan p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 WEEKS!? If he is all about marriage and kids at TWO WEEKS he sounds like a psycho!
2007-01-13 15:20:05 · answer #8 · answered by Sterling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you don't think it will work. It's the truth. He has a right to the truth and you'll be better for it.
2007-01-13 15:57:32 · answer #9 · answered by fuzzbuster96 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont listen to wut ur family says. bc theyy dont fee; wuttt u do. and follow ur heart. money isnt everything and u dotn need it to be happy. so talk to h im baout going back to collefe or soemhting. wat till it feels right, and tellhim how u feel
2007-01-13 15:22:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋