I have been married for 2 and a half years. My husband cheated 6 months ago. All ever think about is that day. I so want to go out and pay him back, come home and say see how does that feel!
2007-01-13 14:52:23 · 31 answers · asked by diana b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your going to play petty games of getting back at eachother it's better just to end the relationship otherwise you will both resent eachother in the long run. The question is will he go to counseling, are you willing to work through your trust issues. If not then end it both, but don't play games that will not help you in the long run, your self esteem alone is worth more than that.
If you truly do not trust him and are going to spend the rest of your life wondering how long until he does it again, throw him out and get an attorney. If you think you can work through your trust issues then go to counseling, I would one that works with you together but also seperately so you can work through your trust issues as well. He can also work out what caused him to cheat, cheating is usually a sign of other problems in the relationship not just the sex.
2007-01-13 14:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Guinness Guy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a little stressful to listen to these folks who maintain ranting that when a cheater, consistently a cheater. Affairs occur for many reasons, and typically "excellent" individuals have them, renowned the mistake after which restore the marriage and keep devoted. Of path there are the intercourse addicts and narcissists that traditionally can't or don't wish to be reformed, but if the cheating occurred when you consider that of some need that wasn't being met within the marriage and that hindrance is resolved, why count on it is going to happen again? This guy appears like he had one final fling before tying the knot, which used to be a stupid and insecure thing to do, but not necessarily valued at ending the wedding over. He DID marry the woman, so he need to have decided he wanted to be together with her, no longer the other woman. If he's nonetheless ambivalent, then they must get counseling now, before they've youngsters. Chances are he acquired it out of his approach and he's ready to be a dedicated husband. How many guys get a bit of too carried away at the bachelor occasion and nonetheless go on to be good husbands? Most commonly rather a few.
2016-08-10 12:06:49 · answer #2 · answered by petitto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really is somewhat annoying to hearken to those those who keep ranting that when a cheater, continuously a cheater. Affairs happen for most motives, and typically "solid" human beings have them, well known the mistakes and then restore the marriage and stay committed. of route there are the sex addicts and narcissists that probable can not or do not opt for to be reformed, yet when the dishonest occurred because of a few choose that wasn't being met interior the marriage and that problem is resolved, why anticipate that's going to happen lower back? This guy sounds like he had one very last fling previously tying the knot, which became a stupid and insecure problem to do, yet not inevitably nicely worth ending the marriage over. He DID marry the lady, so he must have determined he needed to be which includes her, not the different woman. If he remains ambivalent, then they ought to get counseling now, previously they have little ones. probability is he were given it out of his device and he's waiting to be a dedicated husband. what number adult men get somewhat too over excited on the bachelor party and nonetheless bypass on to be solid husbands? probable quite some.
2016-10-17 01:16:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, cheating is an absolute deal breaker. However I have known couples who have survived an affair and have a stronger marriage as a result. I believe regardless that if you decide to stay with him and make it work - you have to be willing to not bring it up and NOT crucify him with it every time you are a in an argument. Us women are terrible - we may forgive but we never forget and we are most often times awful at dredging up history, regardless if it's been resolved and put to rest. Your husband made a mistake. You have a choice in how you wish to deal with things from here on. If you think you can continue through a lifetime with him without punishing him for his mistakes then I encourage you to work at it everyday. If you know deep in your heart that what he did was unforgivable and the damage that was done is irreversible - then end it. There is truly no sense in both of you suffering if you aren't willing to TRULY forgive and not use it against him or feel tempted to hurt him in return.
2007-01-13 15:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, I have been in your situation and believe me, you dont want to do that. That would give him power down the road and you definately dont want that! I thought about doing just that when my hubby cheated on me, but whenever we get into a fight, he can never say that I cheated on him! it took me a long time to trust him again and I made sure I told him that! All you can do is take it one day at a time and be strong. my hubby and I have been together for over 6 years now and doing great! every now and then though I tend to wonder if he's out cheating on me, but i get thru it and now that I know all the clues to look for, Its not so hard to know. trust your heart with what its telling you!
2007-01-13 15:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating on him will not solve "your" problem. It will only compound it and make it worse. Two wrongs don't make a right. Obviously something was drastically wrong in your marriage to have made him have an affair, and a marriage takes 2 to tango. I would recommend counselling to find the problem, then if your marriage is worth saving you can rebuild the trust and fix the problem that led him to go astray in the first place. Good luck.
2007-01-13 15:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by elanabutcher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can promise you that doing that will not make you feel better.
If you are going to build trust again, you and your husband may need to go to marriage counseling. This is a hard betrayal to get past and having a third party (that is not a friend of family member!) there to help makes the process much easier.
Also, I know that you are hurt, but do not constantly throw this in your husbands face. It will only make things worse.
This is coming from someone that has been in your situation. My marriage ended in divorce. Don't let this happen to yours... go to counseling.
2007-01-13 15:01:38 · answer #7 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lady let me help you save 20 years time for you and your husband. File for a divorce and start a new life with someone else. Usually things like this will not recover and become better for the couple. It usually is downhill from now on or should I say from 6 months ago. If you have NON forgotten this for the last six months let me tell you that a woman's mind is like a super computer it seldom forgets. Do yourself a Favor and Start filing the papers for the divorce
2007-01-13 15:04:44 · answer #8 · answered by saran_d 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Chances are, things will never be the same. It works for a few but really not many. You may as well get out now & find a man that won't cheat. Two wrongs don't make a right, so don't "pay him back" by stepping out yourself, instead, take his @ss to the cleaners for cheating, demand spousal support and anything else you can get. That will hurt him more and will teach him a valuable lesson. Good luck!!
2007-01-13 14:59:08 · answer #9 · answered by maryannmccarthy2003 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It is impossible to retrieve your relationship to the point it was prior to the affair. If he has cheated once he WILL do it again, that is a given. But then again, two wrongs dont make a right, you shouldnt lower yourself to his standards by trying to make him feel how he has made you feel. You should reevaluate the situation and get out of it, unless your willing to prolong the inevitable by playing games.
2007-01-13 17:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by Debbie V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋