he said that during our college days he really likes me and after 13 years he still feel thesame.. and he felt sad that after graduation we lost our communications and tried his best to look for me.
i must admit that i like him too, and he wants us to have a special relationship with each other, no commitment but just to express the special feelings that we still have.
i am confused, i like him and i treasure our friendship, during those days he is always at my side.. but never had the courage to tell how he feel towards me.
if only we can bring back the time.. and now its too late.
i already told him that we rather stay friends just like 13 years ago, close but not too close, cause i cannot betray my husband.. but he insists.. he said he still feel the same.
i want to stay away from him, but i cant, simply because i miss him so much and i enjoy his company.. but i also don't want to do the things that he want to.
if you were in my position, how will you handle this? i am serious
2007-01-13 14:39:51 · 20 answers · asked by labs 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I agree with Joe Prosnick, you should think about what he really wants which is not the same as what you want.
If you love your husband then dont do anything you will regret later and loose what you have.
13 yrs is a long time to come back and say he still feels the same for you. Lust is NOT Love.
2007-01-13 14:48:28 · answer #1 · answered by ââ¢Â¥*~áƦ~NYSunrise~áƦ~*ââ¢Â¥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, this guy is feeding you a line to get in your pants. If he cared so much about you, he wouldn't insist when you tell him you can't betray your husband. Here's a little something to think about....Do either of you have kids? If this thing came out and believe me a lot of affairs that are supposed to stay under wraps wind up out in the open....who would be hurt???? Your spouses and your children. Do you really want to hurt innocent people? Stay away from this guy. You are being tempted by the feelings you had 13 years ago but it isn't worth hurting your families and 13 years ago is in the past you have to make your decision based on your life now....not your life 13 years ago. And, as I said, bottom line, if he cared so much about you, he would respect the fact that you don't want to cheat on your husband.
One more thing.....what would you want your husband to do if the situation was his instead of yours....Don't expect him to do any more or less than you would.
2007-01-13 22:51:45 · answer #2 · answered by Rosey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not in the position to be friends with you. It's not going to happen with him feeling the way about you that he does. Just keep your distance for now or there will be nothing but trouble and heartache for everyone involved. You've handled life just fine without him being in it for the last 13 years - concentrate on your female friendships that have been there for you during that time. You won't want something to happen that you'll end up regretting later and it can be easier than you think to get pulled into something that you never intended to do in the first place.
2007-01-13 22:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by 5boys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you waisting time asking questions about a deed you already want to do. You should tell your husband that you want to bed your college mate and let that poor man go and find a real woman. You can stay away from him, you are just a sorry female that make it hard for other women that want a good man, but have encountered a woman like you. Nothing good is gonna come of this.
2007-01-13 23:56:04 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away!!! Get as far away from this man as possible. You don't want to think about what ifs and end up jeopardizing what you do have --your marriage. Besides, how trustworthy and serious can this man be about relationships in general? He is married, and is trying to start something on the side with you.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but if you pursue this relationship, it will not end well. If he decides to divorce his wife for you, would you do the same for him? And what if you do. Perhaps he may find another old college friend, when and if he gets bored with you.
2007-01-13 22:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by webstoragea1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't be selfish... so far that's all your notation keeps saying.. I want, I want, I don't want!
What you need to be saying is NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO !
You know you are playing on dangerous ground.. your confused because you keep going over it in your head.. if you had any strength in your character it would be a flat out no..
But you have no strength.. you can't even keep your commitment to your husband.. if your willing to take a chance..
And who wanted to get to the alter first.. because it is usually the woman.
You treasure your friendship... he is not yours to treasure.. you have your own treasure at home.. Quit Playing Russian Roulette with your marriage.
And you fool he wants to spend time with you sexually to cure his interest and then go back to his wife..
Why are you dysfunctional? Gosh.... I can not believe people are this stupid... they know the deal... you come on here because you are hoping for support to continue this relationship..
Well look! you where wrong!
2007-01-13 22:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by Esther J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that guy can't respect that you have a husband, then don't bother with the situation. You already have a husband and he has a wife. If you guys really got together and dated or married, chances are, he might do the same to you as he is doing to his wife. Risking a marriage for an old friend is not the smartest idea. He could have changed, you know.
2007-01-13 22:48:15 · answer #7 · answered by Baylie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu both are married as I understand, is he willing to leave his wife for you? I mean obviously you can not cheat on your husband and neither can he cheat on his wife , that wont be the right solution! You guys just have to see if you feel strong enough to be together and get divorce? Or just forget the feelings and stay friends... cheating is just not the answer! However if u love him more than your husband then thats not fair. The best solutio is to forget you mer him, I mean if you have a gret marriage until he showed up, then dont throw away your nice future just for this guy! then again its your life and good luck!
2007-01-13 22:47:59 · answer #8 · answered by Scorpio Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is trouble waiting to happen. misery loves company.
Look at it this way.....are you willing to walk out on a good marriage for something that never happened 13 years ago? Put yourself in your husband's place. How do you think you would feel if it were him?
Personally, I would not do it. A marriage is a committment made to God with another person. You don't play with that. I would not entertain my friend of things he wants to do. Nothing good will come of this, nothing.
2007-01-13 22:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay clear on cheating and tell him clearly about that and also that you still want to be friend with him and nothing more. I think he would respect you for that, especially that both of you have been friends for so long. Pursuing a side relationship only ruins the friendship and your marriage.
2007-01-13 22:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋