well,at my job,the technitian,he is always flirting with me.i responded,and we went out a couple of times.the other day,he asked me if i loved him.but,i just didnt say anything about it.because a couple of days ago,i found out he is married.and ever since,i have been trying not to talk to him,or even look at him.what also bugs me,is that this other lady at work,everytime she sees him,walking towards me,she dont say,hi,how are you.she says,how's your wife doing?it bugs me,cause ,im having a hard time,trying not to be around him,i dont need a reminder of him being married.am i doing the right thing,by staying away from him,not talking,or anything?what can i do,about the nosey lady at work?
2007-01-13 13:05:18 · 12 answers · asked by super girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like your problem isn't the "nosy lady at work" - it's the married co-worker who hit on you.
Ignore them both and move on.
2007-01-13 13:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to tell your co-worker that you know he is married and that you don't have much respect for him because he tried to mislead you. Tell him to stay away from you.
Then, go to the personnel department and tell them what has gone on. Make sure there isn't a policy against dating co-workers first. If there is then just keep quiet. But if you have them put something in your file, it might help later on. You're no doing this to rat on anybody but you are doing it to document what's going on in case it turns into a problem.
I think your co-worker is trying to clue you in. I would go to her and thank her for her concern. Tell her that you can tell she is trying to warn you that he is married and that you got the message and you appreciate knowing and that if you'd have known earlier, you would not have gone out with him. That makes it all above board.
This guy sounds kinda creepy to me. Even if you were both single, it's odd to ask if you love him. It all just seems weird.
Just be careful because you can get nailed for sexual harassment if you don't play your cards right. I'd be very above board on all of this and make it clear that you don't want any interaction with this guy.
And then, don't date people at work anymore. It's a bad idea and I think you can see why now. There are plenty of other places to meet young men who are not married.
This will all blow over soon though and some day it will give you and your friends a good laugh.
2007-01-13 22:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really doesn't have anything to do with the "nosy lady at work:". You better thank your lucky starts that you found out that the looser is married. I would tell him straight out that you know he's married and that you have no respect for a man that does not honor his wife. Regardless of the situation at home, he has NO right to be flirting or going out with other women. Tell him that you're not interested in married men and then just stay as far from him as possible. Please stay away. It's not fun being on the other side of an affair. His wife deserves more respect and consideration. Please stay away from that looser!!
2007-01-13 21:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've learned the best thing to do is ignore ignorant people. She sounds like some of my coworkers! About the guy...you need to talk to him and be honest. Tell him you are hurt that he intentionally did not tell you he was married when he was trying to start a relationship with you. He is the one in the wrong and you don't have any reason to feel guilty. If he continues to bug you maybe you could talk to your supervisor and be transfered to another area (if that's possible). And you don't want to be involved with a married man. THere is no future for you while he is still married. Good Luck
2007-01-13 21:14:39 · answer #4 · answered by sweetie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When he comes your way and the lady from work is nearby say to him discreetly but loud enough so that she can hear "I did not know you were married when we went out...I do not get involved with married men so please do not make any advances towards me again." Then sit down and let it be. Being direct is not going to mar your reputation at work, and the other lady is going to hear that you are being moral and right. This guy is a total slimeball and you havent done anything rong.
2007-01-13 21:24:21 · answer #5 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kill two birds with one stone (so to speak). Tell the jerk husband in front of the nosy lady. That going out was okay, but it will never happen again since you found out he was married.
Also warn him if he don't stop bothering you he will be turned in for Sexual Harassment. You don't have to really turn him in, but that should get your message across; "That you don't want to date jerks who cheat on their wife."
2007-01-13 21:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone he is married and the nosey lady at work probably knows his wife and she is watching you.
2007-01-13 21:09:38 · answer #7 · answered by Denny O 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are not interested in a married man and please don't bother you again.As for the nosey lady she may have been trying to warn you but just ignore her and move on.
2007-01-13 21:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by flossie mae 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u should thank the lasy at work b.c now she helped u not make sucha fool of urself anymore. tell him u know and that u are not okay dating him anymore b/c of that
2007-01-13 21:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by carebear_destroyer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you didn't know he was married and stay away from him. I know it's not your fault he's married but just imagine how it would feel if you were his wife and he was doing this to you.
2007-01-13 21:11:20 · answer #10 · answered by Summer 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋