How do you raise a 17 year old?

Question

Knowing that anything is possible and knowing how wild they can turn out to be. What are effective ways of raising someone of this age group? (really I mean anything 16-18 but I pick 17 because there is something unique about people this age)

For the record, I don't have a 17 year old, I just want to know how you would approach raising one.

Answer 1

You weren't clear whether you are just meeting this person...male? female? Or, if you are just asking for advice on dealing with that age group. By 17...at least you don't have much raising to do.

No matter what the exact age or whether they are male or female...there are a couple of books that I found extremely helpful when my girls where that age...and when my husband was acting that age. ;)

The book "Reviving Ophelia" ... written by 2 counselors who specialized in the treatment of adolescent females, contains years of case histories that cover a wide variety of scenarios that young women find themselves in...mentally...emotionally and physically. Although I personally found much of the information invaluable...much of it was shocking and infuriating.

The statistics motivated me to encourage the administrators of the school my girls were attending at the time and the area schools as well...to make it mandatory reading for any and all employees that had anything to do with...or might ever come in contact with young women in their lives.

The main cause of the majority of the problems dealing with young people or BEING young...is that so many people continue to make choices according to some decision they've made about "LIFE", based on their TOTAL MISCONCEPTIONS about some previous (at that time limited number of) experiences in their lives.

I commend you for putting your question out there... Raising children, saving children and sharing information are things I take very seriously. I could go on and on. For now...I STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU...THAT EVERYONE...watch "The Secret" released in 2006. Check out books and web sites on "Enneagrams" ... personality profiling. WITHOUT A DOUBT the most valuable tool I learned to used when my girls where growing up. I knew for each of them...according to the "behaviors" of their individual types...when they were emotionally healthy enough to deal with what life dealt them and when it was time to offer to pay for dinner or a movie or just listen or to wrap my arms around them. And, to recognize the "RED FLAGS" in my own behavior.

"You Just Don't Understand" by Deborah Tannen, PhD is by far the best book I've read on the VAST differences between communication and relationship styles of male and female. As a woman...it made me feel more compassion for men. To men, I would say that the information they would gain about dealing with and understanding women would serve them more than any other knowledge they might obtain. If they apply that knowledge in their relationships...women will like them more and men will envy them.

If they are dealing with guilt or religious or spiritual issues...or NOT...Any and ALL of the "Conversations..." books by Neale Donald Walsch are inspiring. His "Home with God" is the most comforting book I have ever read.

In closing, Remember...NO HITTING...NO HATING...NO NAME CALLING...NO JUDGING...LISTEN...LOVE...LOVE...LOVE!

Ms. Chris

Answer 2

At 17 the raising portion is almost done. At 17 the thinking pattern has already been established. If you think you can start raising someone at 17, don't try, you will be just kicking yourself in the behind, the raising should have been done years ago.

Answer 3

I hope you're not just starting to raise a 17 year old because that's really late to start. I do agree that they are unique but the raising is pretty much done by now.

Answer 4

hay im 17 that means im unique!!!!! im not like most and not many are like me. what teenager is the same ages 17???who
the band geek, the jock, the emo, or even a teachers pet! you see us how you want to, we could stop talking for a day or two and you automatically think something is wrong when we might just need space! were almost adults so don't baby us but then again don't back off completly theirs nothing wrong with a little guidance. i repeat guidane nt discipline
i hope it helps to here this from a 17 yr old

Answer 5

It's already done at 17, all you should be doing is putting on the final touches. All you can really do is encourage and listen because at this point they've already made important decisions and have set a path for the critical 18-22 years.

Answer 6

by 17 kids don't want to be raised anymore because they have a lot of the stuff about them and other people figured out and your job is really almost done well the hardest part anyway lol

Answer 7

I think the only way to raise a 17 year old, is to teach them about the world.

They must learn how to drive. They must have a job. They must have a bank account.

Responsiblity is the key!! The parents need to teach the child independence.

Answer 8

well i don' t have any children of my own in fact i'm only 24 but i remember being 17 and all i can say is think about what you were like a that age then think about how your parents raised you and then think about all the things you would have done differently. but most importantly know your child. no one knows a child like their parents. good luck.

Answer 9

Are they not allready "raised" by the age of 17 if you need help remember to be patient and stand your ground

Answer 10

You raise them by acting as a parent not as a friend and you know better in most cases. You do not care if they are mad at you for protecting them. One day they will understand.
Also, by not using the excuse "this is what all 17 y/o's do"...if it's wrong, it's wrong, even if the whole world is doing it.